Yikes.

I've always been a bit accident prone while pregnant. I like to blame it on the stretching ligaments, or something like that.

I have recently taken it to a new level with this pregnancy though. On Christmas day I fell down the hardwood stairs at my parent's house and practically broke my elbow. Thankfully my bottom took most of the impact and, well, let's just say it has a little extra padding right now so no problem there. I do have a huge bruise on my arm though, and it still aches.

Then just in case I was looking for a bit more drama, I stabbed myself in the hand with a new butcher knife while making dinner last night. We're talking squirting blood and everything. I'm still finding splatters the next day. So gross. And off to urgent care we went. After some debate as to whether or not a pregnant woman can have the numbing medicine used for stitches and if I needed a tetanus shot, they finally just decided to glue the wound shut. The doctor encouraged me that it was actually better to have a puncture wound (squirting blood and all) than a laceration because the tissue underneath closes in on itself and heals better. Great. I'll keep that in mind next time.

And, I kid you not, while I was typing this, the newly one year-old Brody just picked up a glass, walked off of the carpet onto the hardwood floor, and threw it down. Shattered. What is going on here? Maybe he was jealous and wanted some attention of his own :).

Why??!

Dear Pink,

Why did I just spend a whole day painting the nursery two different colors of pink and completely hate it? Pink, you have let me down after all this time of hoping for your arrival. You fooled me on the paint swatches and made my back hurt for no reason. Now I am walking like an 80 year old. But don't you worry, I WILL be back and I will tame your outrageously bright ways so that I no longer need sunglasses when I look at you.

Sincerely,
A design conscious soon to be Mommy to a little girl (who better REALLY like pink)


I'm not kidding in the above letter. I finally got the crib bedding after waiting 6 weeks (special order or something), dutifully looked at swatch after swatch of paint--in the daylight and evening--all to no avail.

Gotta fix it.

Will post pictures some day if I'm satisfied :).

Happy Birthday, Joel!

Wow! Our "little boy" is 5 today! I'm not going to say these five years have flown by so quickly, because to be honest, they haven't. They actually have been the five hardest years of my life. Little did we know that five years ago, we would face cancer, moving 3 times, 2 job changes, Autism, and the addition of 3 more children. That is a lot to take on, and while I wouldn't have necessarily chosen our circumstances, we have seen God's grace, mercy, and blessing so clearly through it all--especially through Joel.

Three years ago his diagnosis of Autism was devastating. Today he is a thriving 5 year old who truly loves life! Yes, his challenges result in extra diligence, patience, effort, research, prayers, tears, and attention, but we have seen a miracle in his life and he always challenges us better parents. Nothing like paving the way for your siblings, buddy!

So, for the one who has been counting down the days until his birthday since the day after it occurred last year, Joel has been eagerly awaiting this moment. We actually celebrated on Friday and Saturday evenings so he got two "parties"! Somehow Brody injured his ankle Friday afternoon and we were sent to the hospital for x-rays to see if it was broken--thankfully it wasn't, but he did have to wear a sad looking splint all night. Side note, when I was on the phone with the on-call doctor that night, she asked me what happened to him. I honestly had to say that I wasn't sure--we were in the same room with him when it occurred, but we didn't actually see it. Meanwhile, in the background, Zac is wrestling with Joel and Jesse and during a pause in my conversation, Joel shouts out "Daddy, give me another body slam!!" I'm sure at that moment the doctor had doubts about our parenting skills :).

This cut into our plans for Joel that evening so we just had a nice family dinner with cake and presents. He was very gracious about the change in plans when we explained we'd do the second half (going to a nearby museum that has a Christmas celebration and trail of lights) the next night. Because after all, the only thing better than one birthday celebration is two!

So now he's saying cute things to me like, "Mommy, don't you like having a 5 year old boy now?" He also enjoys reminding me of the upcoming birth of his sister by saying, "Mommy, soon you are going to have two babies in the house. Aren't you excited??!!" To which I reply, "Yes, I'm very excited but since you are 5 now, I'll definitely need your help". Little does he know that responsibility also comes with age :).

Many blessings to you on this day, our sweet son, we can't imagine life without you!

Life...

...is just flying by!! We've been so busy, with good things, but it is just making the clock tick extra quickly. I cannot believe Thanksgiving is in 5 days, and then Christmas is just right around the corner. Where did fall go?

I was telling Zac the other day that with each baby, toward the middle to end of my last trimester of pregnancy, I get into "focus" mode and really buckle down, a little withdrawn, and mostly just focused on preparing for the task ahead. I haven't fully reached that point yet (I'm only 26 weeks), but I do feel this urge to really focus on what needs to get done around here, and I'm not so interested in the periphery. Unfortunately, blogging seems to fall into the latter category, hence my absence here.

I do want to document this crazy stage of life, but I just feel so consumed with the daily details of life, that there is little to no creativity left in me to blog. And I have to try to make it at least a tad fun to read, or I'll probably never want to go back and do so (nor would you!). A real look into my day goes like this:

6:30 awakened by crying child (usually Brody)
7:00 breakfast--lots of arguing by big boys about who gets to pick their cereal first
7:30 clean kitchen, empty dishwasher
8:00 get ready for preschool/whatever we need to do that morning
9:00 kid(s) off to prechool, Brody naps, I run around cleaning/organizing, etc.
11:30 lunch
1:00 preschool pick-up then "rest" time (I must insert thankfulness that all boys still usually nap!!)
3:00 therapy/play/do house stuff
5:00 make dinner
6:30 clean up
7:00 Brody bed, play games with boys
7:45 Read stories
8:15 bed time
8:30 more cleaning, laundry, relaxing until my bedtime (which is getting earlier and earlier...)

But that would be boring if I typed that every day. I'll spare you that torture.

For now, I'll share my excitement about baby girl preparation. I've ordered crib bedding, a few super cute girly headbands and a hat, and the world's pinkest car seat anyone has ever seen...hey, if you're only going to do a girl once, go big!!

We're also getting ready to move the bigger boys into a room together so yesterday we bought them beds and fabric to make their comforters. They are SO excited and I hope that transitioning goes smoothly. No one needs to lose any extra sleep around here! :)

But anyhoo...the REAL reason I am posting today is to say that Zac's song won the first round of radio competition and so you can go and vote again! Go to the radio's website and follow the link to vote for "My Church Band Rocks".

kxwa.wayfm.com/

Thanks!!

Happy Birthday, Brody!

One of Zac's songs from his new album has been chosen for a contest on a local Christian radio station here in Denver. They pick three songs and listeners vote for their favorite, which will then be played on air!

Fun, huh?!

So...if you have literally 2 seconds, just follow this link and vote (and I'm not biased, it's the best of the 3 songs :).

http://kxwa.wayfm.com/index.php/community/97-community/134-my-church-band-rocks-.html

And, on a totally different note, out sweet littlest boy is now one!!! Oh wow, I feel like he was just born, literally. Except for the fact that I am 6 months pregnant again, which sort of makes it feel like at least two years must have passed since I had him!

Word cannot express our deep love for this sweet baby and I cannot imagine our family without him. His behavior is becoming a bit more demanding and challenging, because after all, he is now officially a "toddler" right? But still, he has a very mellow, sweet personality and the stoic face that he consistently portrayed as an infant has given way to a giant smile every time we look at him.

I look forward to his continued growth and development as his personality continues to unveil itself. We praise God for you, our precious son!!

My little Builder Bobs

When I was at a baby shower a little while back, the boys took on a construction project. Don't worry, they were fully "supervised" by Daddy. You just can't seem him from behind the camera. And no one was harmed in the making of this object which they call a "train station".

Pretty darn cute if I do say so myself. And that's why Zac and I balance each other out so well. The idea of putting my three small children near some serious tools and open paint cans is enough to put me into a cold sweat. But they sure loved it!
Nice job, everyone!

Brothers.

I got these matching shirts for $2.50 a piece. Who can resist such a good deal? Now if it was only that easy to get a cute picture of the three of them. This was my 5th and best attempt. Ha!



I think the balloon man was a little bored when my parents took us out to dinner awhile back. Guess who reaped the benefits of his boredom?



Playing at the North Pole (an amusement park) with Daddy and Papa. Mommy and Nana took Brody shopping (he didn't know any better). It was a good day all around.





The boys found these scarves and hats when I was switching out our summer and winter stuff. They really wanted it to snow, but this was at the beginning of September. Well, they finally got their wish because in the last 2 days, we've had 2 feet of snow here. Can you say CABIN FEVER??!

Brody!

And this sweet little babe is growing up! He is turning 1 next week and although it sounds completely trite, I cannot believe this past year has gone by so quickly. In the last picture you can see one of his two new teeth. He is very proud of those two teeth and manages to chew with them (one on top and one on bottom). Unfortunately, he has also learned how to grind the only two teeth he has...ah, it's music to my ears, or not.

I am trying to cherish my time with him so much lately. I know that in just a few more months I will be a little more, um, distracted and so I am just trying to soak all of him in. He is just the SWEETEST and I pray that he never feels left out in the shuffle of our crazy house.

And yes, his eyes are that big in real life. So cute!!

Guess what I found?!

The camera cord! Now I can finally start downloading some pictures onto our computer that have just been sadly waiting on the camera. They are many and they are random...enjoy!

Beginning with Jesse's 3rd birthday party! Yes, this was back in August. Better late than never right? Jesse has such a sweet spirit (amidst the very fiery, irrational tantrums) and it's so fun to be able to celebrate him. He is such a precious part of our family and we can see how God has already been using his little life for big things.

Pink!

We will soon be seeing a lot more of this around our house!!!

Our ultrasound was yesterday afternoon, and, seriously, I have to tell you that I was a bit nervous about the whole deal. On top of wanting to make sure baby is healthy and developing correctly, I obviously was anxious about gender.

Let me first say that I LOVE my boys. I honestly think that if I had to choose having all boys or all girls, I would probably pick boys (although I speak from NO experience on the girl end). They are wild and sweet and they love their mommy.

And because of the trajectory we have been following, I would not have been too surprised to find out we were welcoming boy #4. The odds of having 4 boys in a row are just crazy, and it would have been interesting to have it happen to our family, but I wasn't sure I could go there mentally. Kind of like how my mind always jumps to what our grocery bill will be when the boys are 18, 17, 15, and 14. Seriously?! I feel like we spend a lot on food now! And, oh, the rough-housing and potential for broken household items and broken bones just multiplies!! But, I honestly have to say I was prepared for whatever God gave us.

Then on the flip side, I always just imagined that I would have at least one girl. Someone to shop with. Someone to sit quietly and color or read stories with (I guess that's no guarantee with girls, but, you know?). Someone to dress in pink, pick out Christmas dresses for, and fix her hair--aside from just using water to slick down the sticking up hairs :).

So all these things were flashing through my mind and I realized I was sort of holding my breath as I laid down on the ultrasound table. I could tell the tech was looking right away for us, and while I wasn't sure exactly what I was looking to see, I knew I wasn't seeing what I had seen three times previously. She said, "I know what it is, do you?" To which I very quietly replied, "It's a girl???!".

YEP!! 100%. She said I could buy all of the pink I wanted to.

And, to be honest, my first emotion was excitement and my second was just pure relief. 5 years of wondering through pregnancies and deliveries if I will ever have a girl, the sadness that it may never happen (I'm pretty sure this was going to be the last Hicks' baby, regardless of gender), listening to the boys repeatedly ask for a sister, and gazing sadly at the 80% of the children's clothing store that is taken up by girls clothes, while I wander quickly through the minuscule boys section (actually--that may be a prudent choice on the store's part because little boys have NO attention span for shopping--it's get in and get out)--all of those feelings just disappeared because now I have an answer.

And, wow, it feels great!

Brrr...

I stepped outside this morning into balmy 18 degrees go to a Women's fall brunch at church. Everything was frosty and pretty looking, but not too much like fall. Strange! It was a fun time with some other really neat women.

Zac held down the fort with the boys and another friend of theirs who is 9 but likes to come over and play. I had great intentions of posting a bunch of old pictures I have on my camera, since it's been quite awhile...but, alas, I cannot find the camera cord. Hmmm...

Some of the pictures where from last weekend when I was at a baby shower and the boys made a homemade "train station" for their trains. Zac found some scrap wood and they sawed and nailed all morning. They even custom painted it--and only one pair of pants got ruined in the process :). Actually, as I was just looking through the pictures, I realized that Jesse was wearing his nice (and only) swimming suit (that will one day be Brody's), and his all-time favorite Mickey Mouse shirt from Disneyland that my brother got him. Um, probably the LAST thing I would put on him while painting. But, I always say that if they are all happy and safe while I am gone, I won't sweat the small stuff. And not to worry, the super cute pictures also revealed that Zac made them wear protective eyewear while sawing. Oh, the boys.

And speaking of boys--we have our big ultrasound on Wednesday!!! Up until now, I've been fairly relaxed about finding out the gender of Hicks #4, but now, I must admit I'm starting to get a little nervous/excited. Either way, it's crazy to know that we will soon have a lot more information about our family's future dynamic. Will we have a enough men for a basketball team or will some pink actually enter this household?? Who knows?

Praise!

We are praising the Lord today for a good check-up from my eye doctor. This is the first time in almost 2 years that he has been able to say that my eye is actually looking better and he is encouraged! The general health of my eye has been on a downward trajectory for a little while now. The laser treatment I had last summer was supposed to help with some of the bleeding, fluid leakage, and swelling. It's still an experimental thing, and the doctor was especially concerned because sometimes during pregnancy, the body can go kind of crazy, vascularly speaking, which would have been bad news for my eye. It seemed to do that a bit when I was pregnant with Brody, and since all of that was just a year ago, I was a bit concerned to be pregnant again.

BUT, the treatment and, more importantly, God's healing hand, seemed to have worked and all of the symptoms I mentioned above have lessened! Praise God! The tumor is looking great--still nice and small and dead--so we are continually thankful for that as well. As long as that stays the same, our new goal is for me to be able to keep my actual eye and for it to stay relatively "healthy". Although battered and mostly blind, I 'd still like to keep it around for as long as possible :)!

Not much blogging going on around here lately...I'm trying to get us into our fall routine and it's taking a bit more than I imagined. I am on a new house cleaning schedule where I do two big things a day and by the end of the week, everything is clean (except the things I did on Monday are already looking dirty again--this is the downfall because not everything is sparkling clean at once). But, I just don't have a 3-4 hour block of time to do it all at once so this is the way it must be for now.

This also holds me more accountable to get things done, and, if I actually do find time to sit down during the day, I realize there is probably something on my list that still needs attention. I've also been trying to spend less time on the computer and more time just playing with the boys. And can I say that Joel has a small Candyland addiction right now? The boys are actually both really into playing any board game, but Candyland is the current favorite. I put a cap on it after 5 times in a row--then we must switch to something else for awhile. On Friday we played 12 games (a mixture of several different board games)...it was thrilling! haha.

It's a little tougher to play when Brody is awake because he's like a little wrecking ball who just comes crashing onto the board and eats all of the pieces. He is in this funny stage where he'll come barreling over to you (crawling) when you are on the floor and just start climbing all over you. He grabs hair, glasses, clothes, and smothers his face into yours. It's a very slobbery, rough way to get attention but he just loves it!! After several hours of this each day, I eventually have to move up onto a chair or the couch because I am tired of being a human jungle gym. Apparently my growing belly also makes a good step for him, but not so pleasant for me. He's starting to stand unassisted and I'm thinking his first step is right around the corner. This looks like it will come just after his first tooth which is breaking through as we speak!

My boys are late teethers (Brody will be 11 months old on Saturday) but I kind of like it that way. It doesn't hinder what they eat, and it seems like they are better able to handle the pain when they are older. Joel's pediatrician wanted him to see a pediatric dentist when he was a baby because at 12 months, he still didn't have any teeth. I declined because I was pretty sure the teeth were in there somewhere and would come out when they were ready. I didn't need to pay someone a lot of money to tell me that. :) And sure enough, they started coming in quickly after that, two at a time.

This reminds me of one of the benefits of having lots of kids...the more you have, the less you worry about the small things that you worried about with the first. Nothing seems quite as alarming, you know there is a huge variation in development, and that mystery rash will probably just go away on it's own in a few day.

But, while I am spending less time worrying about the little things, I AM spending a lot more time cleaning, organizing, grocery shopping (my boys can EAT!!), and doing laundry. I guess that's the trade-off! And speaking of that, I've got to go and organize my closet, it's about to eat me alive! We have a tough week ahead of us...hoping all goes well :).

Into fall.

We got the spend the weekend at my parent's house and it was so relaxing. I forgot just how nice it is to get away for awhile. Zac and I went to a wedding on Saturday night, which was also fun, since it's been awhile since we've been to one :). And, because he's on study leave at church for the week, we visited another church in Colorado Springs last night. All in all, it was just a refreshing time.

I don't think I was aware of how stressed out I have been feeling (subconsciously) these past few months. I think a lot of it has to do with Zac's album production and now release. He has been working non-stop on all aspects of it for 9 months now and even though it's now officially for sale, there is still a lot of marketing stuff to do. Will it ever end? Another huge subconscious stress for me is the baby growing in my tummy.

My pregnancy has been great so far! Other than some crazy, long headaches, I've felt the best I've ever felt while pregnant and it's a huge blessing!! It's when the baby comes that worries me :). Things are just going to get so much more crazy around here and my role of "house manager" will get even bigger. So many people have said to me, "You're going to have some help aren't you?" That just makes me panic even more when I say, "No, not really" and then their eyes bug out. If only we were rich and famous and I could just hire someone to clean my house, do my laundry, and stay here two mornings a week so I could run errands. Okay, maybe not famous. I've heard that's not so much fun. I'll just take enough extra cash in the budget to cover those few things! Ha ha. But since that's not going to happen, I'll have to put the diapers on a really low shelf and train Joel to bring me the 15 diapers that I'm going to need each day :). Or maybe I'll get lucky and Brody will be walking by then

Anyway, I originally intended to say that I have been in the process of going through all of our rubbermaids in the basement and washing all of the boy's clothes for fall/winter and putting away some summer stuff. I actually enjoy doing this. I like taking out the old clothes and reminiscing about who wore it last and what they were like at that stage. I also am at the point where we don't have many handed down clothes for Joel and so it's a fun excuse to go shopping. I got him some fun stuff!

And it's a good thing I'm doing this now because I just looked out the window, and I kid you not, it's snowing. This is the earliest snow of the season I can ever remember. This is made extra weird because yesterday it was 80 degrees and sunny...I'm sure in a few days it will be 80 degrees again. I love Colorado!

Maybe not.

Oh, it's been a little while hasn't it? Remember when I said I thought we had a nice schedule for fall and we were looking forward to our activities? I think I lied. Maybe I'm thinking that because I was driving for an hour and a half yesterday and today, just shuttling us around from one thing to another. Or maybe it was the fact that I burst into tears when I got the boys home from AWANA tonight after Zac asked how it went.

Let's just say, I think we are going to be AWANA drop-outs. This is not because it isn't an amazing program--it is and we have some really special leaders and participants--but it's just too much for us.

As many other moms do I'm sure, I am feeling slightly overwhelmed with the burden of household details lately. Those details of cooking, cleaning, meal planning, appointment scheduling, therapy coordinating, laundry washing, trash taking, car washing (well, actually I don't think I've done that one in awhile), child refereeing, and playdate hosting have now expanded to include the kid's activities. When's gymnastics? When am I supposed to attend Joel's field trips and Jesse's field trips and where were we going again? Have I gotten a sitter to watch Brody for those field trips? Who's class do I have to bring snack for this week and what kids have what allergies? (Uh, sorry, that was produced in a factory where they also have peanut products, can you bring something else?) Did you learn your memory verse for school? Are you wearing red because it's "Clifford day" today? Do you have your show n' tell? It's a bit overwhelming.

And all of that reminds me, I think Brody only has 3 diapers left. Great. Because I was really looking forward to a trip to Costco with my "crew" tomorrow--the one day we don't have anything else to do. Something about that place makes them all combust. It's like they have super-sized tantrums just to match the food portions.

I think a small part of my problem getting organized is that the two mornings a week that the big boys are both in school, I have other commitments (MOPS, leadership meetings, and Bible study). I'm not exactly sure how that happened but it's cramping my style a little bit. And you know what else? I think I'm experiencing some pre-anxiety for when I have to throw two more kids into this "school stuff", one right after the other. Oh, just one day at a time right?

And while I'm venting, let me just say how difficult it's been to schedule a simple appointment to see the dentist. I've had to call back and reschedule 3 times because none of my appointments have worked for our/Zac's schedule to be home and watch the boys and I used up all of my babysitting credit with friends in the past few weeks. Finally, this last time the receptionist offered for me to bring ONE of the kids and she would help watch that ONE. Um, thanks, but what am I supposed to do with the other two? It's not like I really even want to go to the dentist, but I think I have a cavity, so I need to do the responsible adult thing and just make it happen. Because we all know that what's worse than having a cavity filled is having to get a root canal. And if that happened, I'd have to make another appointment and find another babysitter.

Maybe it all just comes down to my dentist phobia. I had never had a cavity until I got pregnant with Joel. When I went in for a cleaning when I was 8 months pregnant, I nearly fell off the chair when the dentist told me I had nine. NINE??!! What? He attributed it to the fact that I had been throwing up daily for the previous 7 months and it had likely weakened my tooth enamel. Whatever happened, I now experience PTSD every time I go to the dentist's office. Especially when I'm pregnant, which, incidentally is now, and has also been quite often in the past 4 years. ACT with fluoride, I hear you calling my name!

The album is here!!!

Zac's album is out. Buy the album, and pass this link to all your friends!

http://www.zachicks.com/the-glad-sound/

Counting my blessings.

Zac has been out of town for a few days on a backpacking/mountain climbing trip. I am glad that he gets this opportunity to be with some other great men and take a break from his normal, busy life. He is always very gracious when I leave for a girl's night out or other equivalent "fun" activity, and although he is definitely gone a lot and I'm on overtime mommy duty (evenings and weekend stuff included), it's almost always for "work" type commitments that he is gone. So, all that to say I hope that this is a rejuvenating time for him!

And yet it's still tempting to feel sorry for myself. I'm so busy. These boys are so demanding. The laundry is overtaking me. I just cleaned up lunch and now it's already time to start making dinner. Need another diaper change? Did you really just color with Sharpie on my wall? Blah, blah, blah.

But I've been reminded this week about the preciousness of life and how to NEVER take it for granted (especially the lives of my children). A dear friend just lost a baby during pregnancy and is grieving the huge loss that is. She had been trying for awhile to get pregnant and so this is extra difficult for their family. As I spend time in prayer for her, God gently reminds me to move above getting "caught" in the mundane details of life and be ever-thankful for his good gifts from above.

Moving along.

We are still here and moving along! The boys all finally recovered from their illnesses and we are thankful for health again!

Preschool starts this coming week and I am excited to get back into the routine of the school year. We will be busy--I am leading a table at MOPS, the big boys are doing AWANA, we're participating in our small group, rehearsals for various things, and preschool three days a week. I am also getting Joel's therapy schedule worked out to fit in the "holes" and am feeling very good about the direction he is going in. It's all great stuff and I feel as though our schedule is still very manageable. We are looking forward to a fun fall!

The boys have been bickering a lot these past few days. It makes me go bonkers after too long so maybe they are ready for some more activities of their own too :). Brody won't know what to do with all of the peace and quiet around here when they are gone!

But speaking of peace and quiet, that little baby also enjoys himself some loud, live music! We've had several occasions in the past few weeks to see live bands and he just goes crazy. He shakes his arms, bobs his head and moves his chubby little legs all around! He does it while we are holding him, while pulling up on something, or while sitting in the stroller. I've got to try to get it on video because it's just so funny. I've never seen such a young baby react so pleasurably to bands :). Maybe he's following in his daddy's footsteps.

And speaking of his daddy, Zac's album is done and will be released in two weeks!! We've sold a few pre-release copies at some special events and the feedback has been awesome and I know that he is so encouraged. After working on this for so long, and hearing the songs so many times, I think he was beginning to question if they were even any good--but they are, and we are excited for other to catch a vision for the new hymns movement!

So, we are moving along....

We're back...

...and jumped right back into the land of sick children. Joel did recover, but then Brody got pretty sick and we are still struggling along with him. Just think horrible diarrhea (as in 12-14 diapers a day), painful diaper rash, and a cold. His voice sounds so sad when he tries to cry because it comes out more like a hoarse, barky kind of sounnd.

And sweet baby that he is, only cries when he needs a new diaper or when I lay him down to sleep. It's been my special time with him to go in and rock him for awhile before naps and bedtime--what better comfort can I provide? I actually still remember being rocked by my mom (I think it extended into my early elementary years if I was not feeling well or upset about something). I hope my kids always know that my lap is open for them.

We have lots going on this week and are still trying to recover from our trip. It was great--beautiful in the mountains and a nice change of pace--but it wasn't necessarily restful. We lead worship at a conference for 3 sessions a day, and when you include sound checks and rehearsals, we spent a lot of time on that stage :)! Other than some background singing on Zac's album, I haven't ever really been much of a part of leading worship with him and so it was a new experience for me...a little stressful but fun!

We celebrated Jesse's 3rd birthday last night so I'll get some pics up and try to do a special post for him soon!

Wouldn't ya know?

Zac and I have been looking forward to "escaping" our normal lives at home to lead worship at a conference in the mountains this week. We've been planning this for almost 7 months and were excited the time was finally here.

We convinced my parents they would do a most wonderful job taking care of all 3 boys, left adequate instructions, and hit the road (with a car full of sound gear!). And wouldn't you know, not 2 hours after we'd left, I got a call from my mom that Joel had a fever.

What?! I promise I am not lying when I say he seemed PERFECTLY fine when we left. Really. They had a rough 2 days with him and then he was on the mend.

Then I got a call this morning that now Brody is having one nasty (I won't go into details) diaper after another, with a mild fever of his own. My poor mom was up several times overnight changing and comforting him...just when they probably thought they were up for a good night's sleep.

Why does this always seem to happen? When they watched the boys while we were in the hospital after I delivered Brody, they were very sick then too. And that wasn't the first time they'd been left with sick kids, either. I am beginning to fear that they will never want to watch my kids again! Zac said this morning, it would be fun if we could do this again next year. To which I quickly replied, I don't think anyone will be up to watching our FOUR children....we don't have a great track record. It's hard enough doing this when everyone is healthy, it's even stressful for me to do it if someone is not well.

Oh my. Life still continues, despite our perfect plans, doesn't it? Hopefully we will return home, late tonight, and feel refreshed and ready to take on the extra "challenges" at home right now!

Peanut.

Before his first haircut!


And after! (It wasn't my best haircut ever, but it was sufficient :)




Brody is 9 months old now! (sorry I'm a little late on this...it was August 3rd). I call him peanut, but that's really not the most accurate description because he's a big guy!

At his appointment he was 20 lbs. 14 oz. (50%) and 30 inches long (95%)! He's taller than the other boys were at this point, but weighs more than Joel did and less than Jesse did. That seems hard for me to believe though because Jesse always (and still does) seemed so skinny to me. Brody looks more stocky, kind of how Joel has always looked. It funny to see the similar and unique characteristics of all of them.

Brody is crawling all over (started about 6 weeks ago), exploring more, saying mama and dada, and is pulling up! I went in to get him from his crib last week and he was just standing there, waiting for me :). He is very proud of his new mobility and independence.

And I have to say that he is just the SWEETEST, content baby. He only cries when he is tired or hungry and will just spend hours crawling around and entertaining himself. He is easy to take places, likes the car, and give us huge smiles. He really is very low-maintenance, which is a nice break from the other two! If I could change just one tiny thing about him would be to help him be a better sleep--he's not bad--just not great. But, I'm not complaining because we feel so blessed to call him ours!!

And this sweet babe has no idea that in just about six months he will also become a big brother! I'm sure he'll be great.

Reflection.

So I've had a hard past few days with the boys. No matter how consistent we try to remain in our parenting, they just seem to ebb and flow in their behavior. We go through good and bad periods.

Tonight I decided to lay down with Joel in his bed for a few moments, in hopes of catching a little special time with just him (to try to overshadow the constant discipline it seems they've been receiving lately). We were chatting in the semi-darkness but then he left the room for a bit to go potty.

I felt like I could doze off in his bed and then my thoughts began wandering to something much deeper. When people lose a child, it seems there can be two reactions to their child's bedroom. Some shut the door and cannot bear to open it for years. Others find comfort lying in their child's bed and feeling the worn texture of their special blanket.

I thought about what it would be like if I was lying there, grieving for my own child. Looking up I saw the model solar system hanging from his ceiling that he picked out at the country store at Cracker Barrel restaurant when my mom told him he could pick out a toy. I thought it an odd choice at the time, but now it brought tears to my eyes.

I looked at his drawer and the green fleece pajamas that were hanging out. He tries to wear them most every night but I won't let him because it's way too hot outside...he still insists on keeping them in his drawer, though, because he wants to be able to see them.

As I rested my head on his pillow I smiled at how he takes his pillowcase off every night after we leave the room and throws it on the floor, preferring to sleep on the pillow without it.

Seeing his ceiling fan reminded me of just how excited he was when Zac installed it and how he invited everyone that came to our house over the next several months up to his room to see it.

Hearing the whirring sound of his humidier made me think back to the time Zac and I completely had to dismantle it when he went through a phase of putting coins, paper clips, and other small objects in the vent because he liked the sound it made.

It would have been so easy to be overcome by grief had our circumstances been different.

But then I remembered, I have nothing to grieve. God has placed this vibrant child in our lives and he is living and breathing at this very moment. And yes, there are days when I cry over disastrous outings with the kids or their defiant behavior (see my previous post even!), but God once again gently retuned my heart tonight and helped me put things into perspective. Every day should be a day that I give thanks for the lives of my children--no matter what the daily occurances were.

And so in the morning when I put Joel's pillowcase back on and turn off his humidifier and ceiling fan, I will smile and say a prayer of thanksgiving.

On shoes and such...

It's that time of year again...back to school shopping. The main focus for us is always on finding new shoes. The boys live in flip-flops or crocs all summer, and inevitably, towards the end of summer when I try on their shoes from last spring, they never fit anymore. Unfortunately, it's kind of hard on the wallet too because they have their daddy's wide feet and I often can only find shoes that fit in specialty shops.

So tonight I took them shoe shopping. Zac is now getting my precious stomach flu so I took pity on him and left with all three boys in tow.

Now let me just say that despite all of my boy's "boyishness", I think they would be quite happy if they were girls. Just last week Zac found Joel in our bathroom in the midst of applying mascara and lipstick (surprisingly accurately too!). Every time I wear jewelry, Jesse tells me how beautiful it is and insists on taking it from me so he can wear it. It's taken many a conversation to convince them that they cannot wear my earrings because they don't have holes in their ears like Mommy. They just don't seem to be buying it. They picked out a pink booster chair last summer when we needed another one for the kitchen table. Jesse carries lip gloss in his pocket. I think you get the picture.

This is why it shouldn't surprise me that we had an incident at the shoe store. They were both in awe of the rows of pink shoes with delicate details and plentiful bows. Immediately they started pulling out boxes saying they wanted to buy this one and that one. All the while, I am trying to focus on the meager selection of boys shoes and find at least two pairs that are size wide and don't have flashing lights or giant cartoon characters on them. And that is much harder than you think.

Eventually, I think I found something that would work for each of them, but our time at the store concluded with giant tears and tantrums because they were not allowed to buy these shoes.



Joel is wearing the faux ugg boots, complete with fur edging. Jesse is wearing the maroon mary janes with the delicate bow on top. I'm actually now thinking maybe it would be better if we never had a girl because I'm quite certain all of her things would end up in the boys' room. Poor thing. She wouldn't stand a chance.

This isn't the greatest picture because I took it with my phone. The same phone, I might mention, that I just picked up from a massage parlor. Oh yes, I dropped my phone in the grocery store parking lot yesterday. It just so happens to be next to the massage place and some kind person turned my phone into the front desk there. The receptionist then proceeded to call multiple friends and family in my contact book to try and track me down. It worked, but now everyone is jealous because I had a leisurely afternoon getting a massage.

Oh, my dear friends and family, that couldn't be farther from the truth. My day actually was highlighted by a nightmare trip to the doctor where all 3 children proceeded to scream and cry the entire time. I cannot count the number of dirty looks I got from other parents. That was followed up by an aborted mission to the grocery store (where I managed to lose aforementioned cell phone) because of aforementioned behavior from children. Obviously I was in a rush to get out of there since I just left my phone laying on the street. And let me tell you...I sure NEEDED a massage after all of that.

Oh my.

This has been the craziest two weeks. When Zac was off last week on vacation I think I mentioned that I got his horrible cold. Just as I was beginning to feel almost totally recovered from that, I got the stomach flu.

How, you ask, since the only place I went all week was to the grocery store for all of 5 minutes? Apparently I picked up probably the only stomach flu germ floating around there.

I started throwing up Wednesday night and just got worse on Friday. Lots of pain, fever, the whole deal. I even had to call Zac and ask him to come home from work on Thursday morning. That's a huge deal for me and has happened only one other time since we've had kids, I think. And it's a good thing he came because I collapsed into bed and barely got out for the next 36 hours. Ugh.

But, I am feeling much better again! At first, I was afraid I was starting to get morning sickness (but a little late because I'm almost 11 weeks pregnant). I was sort of disappointed because--knock on wood--this has been my best pregnancy yet!! I have only felt a few waves of nausea but have pretty much just carried on as normal. I haven't even felt any extra tired, which is so different than last time when I literally RAN straight to my bed as soon as I put the other boys down for their naps every day. I truly felt like someone was giving me a constant IV drip of Ambien or something. It was awful. I am embarrassed to admit that I almost fell asleep while waiting at a red light once. And this is coming from the person who normally has a hard time sleeping.

One side note, being able to nap during pregnancy is one good reason to have your kids close together. Even now all 3 boys will nap at the same time (if I plan it correctly :) and I can still manage at least an hour to myself. Nice!

Anyway, back to important things. Like vomit. I threw up most often while pregnant with Joel (for 7 months, daily) and didn't want to be pregnant ever again. It wasn't nearly as bad with Jesse, good thing because Joel was just turning one and needed lots of attention--obviously I had miraculously gotten over my fear of being pregnant again. I was reminiscing about how I would just bring him into the bathroom with me when I threw up because he thought the sound was funny and he would just giggle away. I was a fair amount sicker with Brody and ended up taking Zofran around 15 weeks because I was so tired of being sick (and I now had a one and two year old that needed their mommy to be a bit more chipper). It helped a little and the nausea really went away around 20 weeks.

I recap all of that not to bore you or completely gross you out, but to just share what a miracle it is that I have been feeling so great! Aside from the whole stomach flu and cold thing, I really don't think I'm going to have to endure the dreadfulness of what I have previously known as the first 4-5 months of pregnancy. And this friends, is truly a miracle. When I found out I was pregnant with this "surprise blessing" baby, my first two thoughts were:

What if it's another boy?!

How in the world can I endure pregnancy again, especially with a little baby still at home?

Then I just prayed. God knows all of these things and more. Even the things I hadn't thought to worry about yet. So I prayed that he would carry me through the known fears and the unknown ones too, but especially that he would show me mercy over the upcoming months of pregnancy. And he graciously has. Wow!

Some things I love...

about...

Zac--his tenacity and hard work.

Joel--how he is always up for trying new things and approaches life with excitement and passion. He always wants to know what's coming next on the schedule.

Jesse--the way he laughs/smiles when he is embarrassed about something and says, "oops, I didn't meant to do that."

Brody--how any time I catch his attention and he looks at me, he will always return my smile with a huge one of his own.

These boys are all so special to me. I don't ever, ever want to forget these little things, even amidst the craziness and occasional frustration, because there are far more wonderful moments.

Unexpected!

Today I sort of got a day off! It has been just me and Brody hanging out all day. My dear friend Jamie (the one who took Joel camping) took both of the bigger boys to Elitch's with her daughter (think Six Flags). They seemed to have a great time...Joel was grinning from ear to ear when he walked in, and Jesse walked straight to his bed :). Now Joel is off to therapy and the other two are napping.

What a nice gift this is for me because the lovely "cold" we've been passing around his is still hanging on something fierce. Zac is even going to the doctor tomorrow, which if you know Zac, you know that's pretty significant! :) I guess it's kind of important when a major part of your job is having to sign...that voice needs to be working properly.

So yes, the highlight of my day would be laying on the couch for 2 STRAIGHT hours this morning while Brody napped. I know, aren't I inspiring...the things I can accomplish with "free" time. Somehow I think this was just what my body needed, though. After all, I need to think about that little baby growing inside me too, which still seems so hard to comprehend!

My other close second of a highlight would be when I put Joel in his therapist's car to leave and he lunged his arms out and asked me for a "big hug" with a huge smile on his face. Oh my heart.

The Wiggle Wiggles.

UPDATED: Here are some pics my mom sent me...I am so glad we got to do this, everyone had a great time!







We went to a Wiggles concert last night! A week ago my mom called to say that they were going to be in Colorado Springs and that she wanted to take the boys and my niece. I came along to "help". Actually, I kind of enjoy the Wiggles, as far as kids-music-corny shows go. It was a great concert and they had a ball. Oh, and Joel calls them the Wiggle Wiggles. I'm not sure why...

And, of course, because I am "documentationally challenged" as I've mentioned several times before, I don't have any pictures. I actually took quite a few with my mom's camera and meant to post them on my blog from her house but didn't get around to it. I'll have her send me some and try to get them up.

The Wiggles and their pals were doing lots of hand stands and other gymnastic type moves on the stage. Apparently, Joel was quite impressed and was trying to do handstands in his theatre chair. It was a funny sight that I wasn't adequately able to get on camera. He cracks me up.

I told my mom afterwards that I was kind of sad it was over. Using the Wiggles concert had been a very effective tool in reminding the boys to be on their best behavior throughout the day to make sure they would be able to attend the concert that night. Ah, the things I resort to sometimes. You moms know that you all do it every now and then! :)

Eight years.

Happy Anniversary to my wonderful husband! It's been 8 years. In some ways it feels like 1 or 2, but when I think back on all that has happened in the past 8 years, it feels like many more than that.

When Zac and I got engaged, we were both very young. He was 20 and I was 21. It seemed like such a huge step to take, but we both felt like we were ready. Not necessarily ready for all of the little things that would come along as challenges (we knew God would walk us through those when the time came), but ready to commit to a lifetime together. A life that was soon to unfold before our eyes. We wouldn't know the daily details, the mountaintops or the valleys. What we did know was that we trusted each other to remain committed, and we trusted each other's character. That was really what we found to be most important--is this someone that I respect, trust, and can honor for the rest of my life?

And I must say, that Zac has been that and so much more. He is a man of incredible character. I could glimpse this before we were married, but am still realizing the full extent of it today.

He is honest. He is hardworking--won't quit until the job is done to the best of his ability. He is conscientious. He is funny. He loves me unconditionally. He loves our boys deeply. He is organized. He is future thinking but always lives in the moment. He is committed to providing for our family, in many ways. He encourages me and challenges me, pointing out my weaknesses, while still praising my strengths.

I praise God for giving me Zac as a husband. And I pray for 80 more years.

Side note: I do not thank Zac for giving me his cold, which came on last night. Now it feels like I have a terrible head cold on top of the stomach flu (thank you, pregnancy). Bummer. But you know what, we will still celebrate tonight--even if it just means being able to comfort each other in our afflictions. Haha! Isn't that a true reflection of what marriage sometimes is?

Not such a good start.

Two months ago I convinced Zac to take a week off this summer. Not so we could do anything spectacular, it's too expensive and logistically difficult to take a big trip with 3 little people, but just to relax and take a break. He needs that. I need that. The boys need to see us all just having fun together.

That vacation week starts tomorrow. And we are not off to a good start. Zac and Jesse are both sick...they have been this whole past week and while Jesse seems to be staying the same, Zac is definitely getting worse. This isn't exactly what I had imagined for our special time together. Think Zac sleeping a LOT and me doing the same thing I do every other day, except being annoyed that this week I actually shouldn't have to be doing it alone.

Insert crying.

Just kidding. I know that was very whiny. Hopefully we can get them both to the doctor on Monday, on some medicine, and on the road to recovery. Just pray the other boys and their Mommy don't get it! Then I really might cry :).

Thoughts from the bigger boys.

Yes, Jesse has a huge bruise/cut on his forehead. We were playing on the driveway the other night and BAM! he just went down. Poor Jesse. This happens almost every day. He is just walking (or running) along and all of a sudden does a huge faceplant. Usually he gets his arms out in front of him first...obviously not this time though! This picture was taken 4 days later!



These little jokesters. Joel thinks it's really cool that Brody is big enough to "play" with them now.

When I told them about the baby, they immediately shouted that they wanted a sister. When I said I didn't know what it would be yet, Joel said, "You mean it could be another Brody?" Then Jesse said, "No, I want a sister!"

I asked them why they wanted a sister so much (uh, dumb question...we need some variety around here!), and Joel said it's because girls are just so wonderful. And that's so funny because he really does just love girls. Most all of his friends are girls and he seems fairly enamored by the entire gender. We should start to get worried in about 10 years.

Then later when we were coloring with markers, Joel said he wanted the baby to be the same color as Brody. Interesting.

It's so funny to watch how their little brains process this news. What I am quite certain of is that they are much more excited about the Wiggles concert that my mom is treating them to next week than the pregnancy news. And at this point, when all my being pregnant means to them is that I feel sick, can you blame them? :)

Just call him Bear Grylls.

Well, Joel had a big weekend. He went on his very first camping trip and we weren't even there! We have some good friends who are outdoor people extraordinaire and so when they invited him along to keep their precious little girl company, we figured he would be in good hands! Who better to introduce him to the fine art (or torturous experience, as I like to think of it) of camping? You can read all about their experience here if you are interested (probably only my mom will read that, thanks Jamie!).

He did great and already said he would like to go again next week. Okay, Zac, did you hear that? Because I'll just be honest. I don't like camping. Unfortunately I believe that baby #4 has now sealed the deal that camping will be the only family vacation we will be able to afford for the next many years. Bummer. I better start to get excited about the prospect. I suppose once we buy tents, sleeping bags, camping stoves, camping dishes, coolers, chairs, backpacks, lanterns, lots of bug spray, and smore's sticks, it would be a pretty affordable getaway. Oh wait, maybe we should just think of something else. That sounds kind of overwhelming.

I'll tell you why I really don't like camping. I sort of have some sensory "issues". If you ask Zac, he'll tell you that I have mild autism and Joel just comes by it naturally. Either way, I will admit that certain sensations bother me in an "I am extremely sensitive to normal things way". I don't like wind or extreme cold or hot, or being dirty, or the fact that I hear every single noise as being 10 times louder than it really is and smell every smell as 10 times more potent that it really is. I guess I am just hypersensitive to some stimuli. Mostly being dirty is the one that truly bugs me. It's like I can feel every grain of dirt caking my body and then I can't think about anything else. And as you know if you read Jamie's recap, being dirty is a large part of camping. So is smell. I love campfires, but I hate that when I crawl into my sleeping bag shortly thereafter, I smell like a chimney. And then when we get home, I have to relive the whole dirty and smoky experience when I pull out all of the dirty laundry. Ugh.

Okay, now I sound like a freak. I promise, I am still a very high-functioning person and most of my friends probably don't even know this about me. I'm just explaining in greater detail my difficulties with camping.

All that to say, I am glad Joel had a wonderful time and maybe one day we can go with Scot and Jamie and they can try to impart their love of camping to me. Some day.

Oh, and if you don't get my title for this post, I do know a little about the outdoor experience--everything I know I have learned from watching Man vs. Wild (Bear is the host) with Zac and I'm quite confident I could find my way out of the Sierra Nevadas with just a flint and a knife. Really. Just as long as I don't get too dirty :).

The long and short of it.

So as a follow-up to Brody's previous post, I will share some of my thoughts on the situation. You know, since our "special surprise" principally involves me for the next 7 months (I guess that's good, 2 down already).

Here are my fears:

Once this baby is born I will not be able to leave the house for 6 months straight.

Brody may not be even be walking when this baby is born.

I won't be able to give each of my children the individual time that they need as babies/little people (I want to cherish these times, not just survive).

How will we afford college when or if all four kids go in the span of 5 years?

Will anyone ever want to babysit for us again?

What does this mean for my eye and the treatments I was supposed to receive this year (finally able to proceed after Brody was born...)?

How will I take care of my children in the way that I want to when I am on the couch with morning sickness (and mine lasts all day, for more than just the first trimester)?

How will I go grocery shopping? (I know, when Zac is home but he works long, weird hours and sometimes you just have to get to the store, you know?)


And yet, after I get over the shock of the upcoming changes for our family, I am overwhelmed by God's timing, provision, and love. This was most definitely NOT a surprise for him. He knows all of my concerns and more, and he will carry me through them. And I know that this child will be a blessing--in the normal ways that we already anticipate, but also in ways that I have no way of even knowing yet! What a privilege it is to be a parent!

But more than anything, when I am feeling overwhelmed, tired, and discouraged, or organized, joyful, and energized--either way, I pray that this experience will bring me before the throne of God, my perfect heavenly Father who will supply all of my needs and grow me into the child that he desires me to be.

And baby makes four.

Hey there everyone! It's me, Brody! Comin' at you with some big news to share (remember, my mama mentioned it in my last post...it's time!)



Well...I'm going to have a little buddy like these guys coming this winter!



That's right! There's a baby in that tummy right there and it's only going to be 15 months younger than me :)



I know! Crazy huh?!



And don't worry, Mom, we promise to help out as much as we can!



I don't know why they are laughing, I'm serious about the help part :).

Exception

Except going to the pool Monday wasn't worth all of the extra work. Jesse had a huge tantrum/meltdown about an hour into it, and once his crying became contagious and Brody started in, we decided it was time to abort mission and head home. I was very frustrated with Jesse. He had plenty of snacks, it was a beautiful day, two of his friends were there, and we were swimming! What more could you want?! Sometimes he just gets on these kicks and there's really no snapping him out of it.

I did however, have a proud mommy moment. Joel was having a great time playing with one of his friends. They were jumping off the side of the pool and then swimming/walking back (it was only 3 feet deep) to do it again. They must have done it 40 times and Joel was thoroughly enjoying his new confidence in his water skills. I walked over and told him we had to leave. He did two more jumps and calmly walked back to our stuff and got ready to go. Those of you who know Joel realize what a HUGE moment this was for him. No crying, no negotiating, no tantrums (we're talking beyond 4 year old normal frustration and into I just cannot control my autistic self tantrums). We have been working, working, working on this--complete with a little story about self-control--and I am finally seeing some fruits of our labor! Praise God!

After dinner, we all went for a walk. Zac had a long talk with Jesse about how we were going to practice walking! Sounds weird, but ever since Brody was born, Jesse has insisted that I carry him everywhere. So unless I want to haul out the double stroller for quick little errands, I have resorted to pushing Brody in the stroller while carrying Jesse. Not a good habit for either of us and we are trying to break it. Jesse actually did a great job and walked all of the way to the park by himself. We are trying to make holding my hand way more special than it really is, but don't tell Jesse that, because he's buying into it!

And Joel decided that he wants to be "SuperWhy". Anyone seen that cartoon on PBS? SuperWhy is a little boy who turns into a reading superhero. They love it and Joel was trying to run so fast that his shoes would turn into rocket shoes and he could fly. He convinced himself that if he ran 5 miles, he would then start flying. It was hysterical watching his little legs running as fast as they could all over the neighborhood. He didn't fly, but he hasn't lost hope yet :). Since then, he's been asking me what other things SuperWhy can do. I've made sure to tell him how SuperWhy always cleans up all of his toys, is kind to his brothers, eats his food without complaining, etc. You know, the important things! :)

8 months and...

guess who is crawling?!

Zac!

Just kidding. It's really Brody and he is getting fast! It kind of took me by surprise because he started trying right before he turned 8 months old and now, two weeks later, has it down cold. Joel was 13 months before he crawled and Jesse was 10.5 months (although they both did this horribly sad looking wounded soldier army crawl for awhile first). Brody is also trying to pull up on things but forgets that he still has to hold on and then just falls right down.

Poor guy got a big bruise on his cheek from trying to stand in his crib :(. Silly me, I always thought the crib was a pretty safe place to be!

The bigger boys are enjoying his new mobility and put things in front of him to entice him to crawl...it's very cute.

Stay tuned later this week, Brody also has some other exciting new to share!

And now we are off to the pool. Not really a very easy outing for me to take 3 small children to the pool by myself (and get them all with sunscreen, suits, snacks, towels, toys, etc.), but they all love it and it's definitely worth the extra work.

Happy Monday!

It shouldn't hurt.

So I want to know where medical professionals get some of their information. Because if it's not firsthand experience, then I'm always kind of leery.

"It shouldn't hurt". That's what the nurse at my retinal doctor's office told me about the laser treatment yesterday. Hmmm...that's very nice. Have YOU ever had this done?

Not my experience at all.

Let's just say I hope I never have to do that again. While my doctor was performing the laser torture, I mean treatment, he was telling me how some people just cannot handle it and have to have to be sedated and have it done at a hospital. He kept asking me if I was okay and I bravely told him to just keep going, thinking it had to be over any minute now.

Sheesh. Having someone push really firmly and directly on my eyeball with a glass ball-like thing, while shining a hugely bright light into my eye and then flashing even brighter lights intermittently that felt like I was being given repeated shots...yeah, didn't hurt a bit. Whatever.

Going into it, I thought nothing would compare to having a 1 inch piece of metal stitched onto my eye and left there for a week (my radiation treatment). And of course, this wasn't that bad. But, I'm not going to beg for him to do it again.

We are praying for success and for a true stabilization of the bleeding and swelling that has been occuring in my eye.

And just for the record, it was yeterday and today I feel completely fine :).

Ahhhh....

Just back from a little Girl's Night Out. Not nearly as wild as it sounds. Starbucks and talking.

Food for the soul.

I'm so thankful for girlfriends... Who else can you tell that you threw the dustbuster on the floor in anger and not worry about feeling judged?! And yes, that did happen. I'm not proud (long story). I even heard Joel trying to recap the situation for Zac that night and then Zac told him not to lie and make up things about Mommy. I sheepishly piped down from upstairs that, unfortunately, he wasn't lying. Zac looked at me like I was nuts.

On a different note, I'm getting ready for a laser treatment on my eye tomorrow afternoon. Feeling a tad nervous but am praying that it will be very successful. At any rate, it's a good excuse to have my mom come up and help me out with the boys for the evening since Zac's at work and I'm quite certain I won't be up to it (wink wink :). Thanks, Mom!

I'll send an update soon!

Happy 4th!

Celebrating yesterday reminds me to praise God for our nation (although imperfect) and the many blessings we receive from living here!

We went to a party last night at a friend's house and their neighbors lit off the most spectacular, private fireworks display I have ever seen. It just went on and on...I cannot begin to imagine how much money they spent :). And Brody, our little trooper, just slept upstairs in a pack and play through an hour of some seriously loud explosions. You gotta love the third child...I am pretty sure he could sleep through the sound of a tornado.

Speaking of sleeping through a tornado, last night we had the loudest thunderstorm at 1:30. It was so intense--complete with lightning, thunder, and sideways hitting rain that--I actually thought about turning on the news to see if there was a tornado warning and we should all be down in the basement. Of course, all of my men (the little ones and big one) were just happily sleeping away while I feared that we might blow away. It was scary! We have been having the craziest weather here this summer...so unlike Colorado!

I finally fell asleep when it was over, only to be awakened thirty minutes later by Brody who somehow soaked through an entire diaper and his pajamas--from head to toe. Poor guy. I'm not sure how that happened. It's like he had some extra bottles stashed somewhere in his crib and snuck a few before he fell asleep. My night was sort of starting to feel like some weird twilight zone episode. Needless to say, I think I only slept about 3 hours total but still felt somewhat rested in the morning.

This morning Brody was sitting on my bed when Joel came in to say good morning. I love to see the look on Brody's face when he sees Joel in the morning or after he's gotten up from a nap. He has the hugest smile and flings his arms around in excitement. I'll try to get it on photo because it is just SO sweet. Anyway, that happened this morning and Joel smiled back. I said, "Joel, Brody loves you so much and he always has a big smile when he sees you!" Joel said, "And I always get the biggest smile when...(I am assuming he's going to say "when I see Brody, too!")...I see my friend, Helmsley!" Oh, okay. He has a serious friend crush on this little girl, so I shouldn't have been surprised, I guess!

Yesterday when Zac told Joel that he loved him very, very much, Joel responded by saying that he loved Helmsley very much too. Oh my. We could be in for it!

Hope you are all having a wonderful 4th weekend!!

Jealous

I wish I could be doing that. Well, not in a knight costume, necessarily. I'm not really into knights and all. Although Joel looks pretty cute as one! This was his Halloween costume from last year and it reminded me of how I went into labor practically the next day with Brody. I think I truly almost trick-or-treated that baby right out of me. Never underestimate the pains I will go through to get some candy!

Anyway, I would sure love to be curled up sleeping on the couch right now (who wouldn't, really?). Instead, I need to put away the 2 foot tall pile of clean clothes sitting by my bathtub, and the clean pile in the hallway, and mop the floors, and clean the kitchen sink. But first, I should start by actually getting dressed. I've been playing with the boys all day--just a chill morning/afternoon at home, but now we really need to get to the store before dinner. And now matter how tired I feel, I just can't go to the store in pajamas, I just might be tempted to park the "car" shopping cart somewhere and fall asleep in the produce aisle.

Finally!!

I know this is so boring, but in my book, is most truly blogworthy! I finally got a picture of Brody smiling! It is literally probably only the 2nd or 3rd one I have. He is very fascinated by the camera and as soon as he sees it, he quits smiling and gets this sort of blank expression on his face...it's bizarre, but I think I have probably 80 pictures of that exact same expression.

I'm sure you are familiar with "the look" from older posts. In case you've forgotten, here it is.



I think it's safe to say that unless some day, the blank expression look becomes very attractive, he probably doesn't have a career as a model ahead of him. And that's okay, because this boy sure likes to eat. As in pretty much any baby food I put in his mouth, and a newly developed penchant for eating his breakfast bottle at 5:30 a.m. I'm not enjoying this.



But when I get to see this smile, it makes it a little more bearable!