Tuesday, September 30, 2008

My mouth is broken!

That's what Joel told me as he came into our room crying this morning. He was coughing like a seal and his voice sounded really funny.

Darn. There goes my one morning of the week off without the boys. Not that I'm counting or anything, but I probably only have 4 left before the baby is born.

When he realized he wasn't going to be able to go to preschool, he tried to convince me he felt fine. When that didn't work, he just started crying really loudly and begging to go. Jesse caught wind of the whole situation and started crying really loudly begging to NOT go to preschool. Too bad they couldn't switch.

Anyhow, Joel ran errands with me this morning, because other than his frog voice and occasional seal cough, he says he feels fine. No fever, no runny nose, no red throat. Weird. Jesse did survive another day at preschool. Although this mommy felt a little bad because I forgot to put his special blankie in his diaper bag. Oops...that's kind of like rubbing salt in his wound. :)

It was fun, though, to get to hang out with just Joel. Jesse and I have been getting a lot of solo time lately but not Joel and I. He is growing up so much that he really is quite enjoyable and easy to hang out with one on one.

So, the morning wasn't spoiled, just modified, and I am thanking God for the special time I got with my biggest little guy.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Happy Birthday, Dad!

So my dad's birthday was two weeks ago but we just had his party on Saturday (due to legitimate delays).

We went to a really fun restaurant called the White Fence Farm. The food is so good--homestyle fried chicken and there is a playground, petting zoo, giant slide, great gift shop, and many other attractions to distract you during the 2 hour wait to be seated.

Jesse and Nana


The birthday boy


The uncle and nephews.


He was quite kind to let them play with his brand new i-phone...Zac and I thank him for introducing them to a whole new world of technology, games, and entertainment. Maybe you can get them one for Christmas :).


My cute sister-in-law and niece (who turns one on Thursday!).

Baby shower!

Some very kind friends from church hosted a baby shower for me on Saturday. We all had such a wonderful time and we were truly blessed by everyone's words of encouragement and very generous gifts. A few people even threw out some name suggestions...

Yes, this little guy could be here in just over a month and we still don't have a name.

It's funny that after already having 2 boys there were still some things we needed. :) Some of the stuff you can't really use twice (pacifiers, burp cloths, etc), but also a lot of the things the boys have used were handed down to us by families of boys who had already used them multiple times. Our swing is on it's very last legs--this baby would be the 7th to use it (and Joel swung the equivalent amount of at least 3 kids)--and someone gave us a new one..and it even matches our decor!!

I'll have to post pictures later...my mom was the photographer so I need to get them off of her camera.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

What to do?

This is the first morning that I have both boys in preschool, and I have nothing on my agenda that I have to get done!! Last week I went to 2 meetings and then frantically ran errands until I had to get them.

Not this time. I was trying to decide last night what I really wanted to do--something I can't do with the boys, and something very relaxing.

Here's my list: (I may not get to it all)

Take a bath
Get ready leisurely
Go to Starbucks and indulge in my favorite Pumpkin Spice Latte (although it doesn't feel like fall because it's still in the 80's here, the latte proves it).
Go to Barnes n' Noble and browse random book sections...stopping to read whatever I want.
Have lunch with Zac.

Sounds good to me :)

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Our little men.

We just had the best morning so I have to share.

Zac and Jesse have both been sick for the past few days (fever and cold stuff), so Joel and I left them behind this morning. We went shopping at the outlet mall nearby with a good friend and her daughter, who is Joel's age. The kids were great, we found some incredible bargains, we went out for lunch, and even topped the whole thing off with some ice cream.

Joel was SO well behaved the entire time and it was such a treat to just hang out with him.

Meanwhile, Zac took Jesse on a quick errand and they also managed to pick up some lunch on the way. He also had a great time alone with Jesse. It reminds us how mellow Jesse really is when he doesn't have his little brother around to pester him.

It's nice every now and then to split them up and have this one-on-one time. I get it more often with Jesse when Joel is in preschool and it always amazes me how his little personality comes out. He and Joel really are VERY different and unfortunately, they don't always bring out the best in each other.

So, it's fun for them AND us to each get alone time with a parent. What a great morning!

Friday, September 19, 2008

Hair cuts!




So I am the official "hair cutter" around here. I do it by default and because it saves us a ton of money--not because I love it.


When Zac and I were newly dating I convinced him I knew how to cut hair and he bought it and it's been that way for over 8 years now.


Joel abhorred hair cuts for the first 2 years of his life--I'm talking extremely traumatic events for all of us.


Jesse has been the same way. Until tonight. When Daddy took over.


Zac decided that he was going to do the hair cutting, which means only one thing. Very short. But it's cute--he was right and I like it! I also like that I just got to sit there and watch and take pictures.


But the most miraculous of all is that Jesse just sat there and smiled like this is his favorite activity of all. Uh, are you the same child who cried so hard last time that the nieghbors probably thought I was torturing you? The picture I took of Jesse is actually the most irritated he was the whole time and it's because I interrupted him while he was doing his puzzle.


Oh, well. We've turned a new corner. He must like the new stylist better. :)

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Prayer

I'm not sure exactly what to say in this post, except to reiterate the importance of prayer and the ability to enjoy life one day at a time.

As I thinking several days ago about what sorts of medical things I need to do in the near future to continue following up with the cancer and my eye, I was led to do a little more research about my specific type of cancer--ocular melanoma (OM). I knew it was extremely rare and am familiar with the treatment options (obviously), but have always struggled with where to go from here--post-treament but still needing regular cancer screening and follow-up, to make sure nothing is spreading.

My eye doctor basically said the standard follow-up tests are annual chest x-rays and liver function tests every six months (it's just a blood test). The reason for these 2 specifically is that the cancer would most likely spread to the lungs or liver first. So, I went to see an oncologist several years ago and had never heard of OM until I sat down in his office. Not very comforting.

Shortly after that I got pregnant with Jesse and put off any other more invasive tests (CT scans, MRI's etc.). A year and half ago, though, I had what appeared to be an abnormality on my chest x-ray so a CT scan was ordered. On the scan, they saw a "concerning" area on my adrenal gland, so a PET scan was then done. Turns out, they still aren't sure what the spot is but it's very small and hadn't grown so the plan was to just watch it. Honestly, I'm not really concerned about that anymore--this is all sort of a side note.

I have since been referred to a new oncologist by my eye doctor who is actually familiar with OM and works closely with my eye doctor. I will see her in a few weeks. As I was researching online, trying to decide if I needed another CT or PET scan, I came across a lot of information.

It turns out that there is a fairly high chance (anywhere from 15-40%) chance of it spreading to my liver. The liver blood test only catches 60-70% of the times that it has spread and so those other 30-40% are living with undetected liver cancer. What makes it tricky is that this type of melanoma is much MORE agressive and quite different from regular melanoma, making it very difficult to treat. It is often fatal, in a very short period of time (under a year). There are several clinical trials going on right now that are researching different treatments for this type of liver cancer, but nothing conclusive has happened yet.

So, where does that leave me? Somewhat shocked. Quite thankful that I have some new information to go off of. And armed with a huge list of questions for the oncologist. I won't bore you with all of them and some of it gets pretty technical.

All I do know is that scans are recommended, along with the blood tests and x-rays, every six months, at least! If there's any chance of beating this, the earliest detection possible is necessary. I am sad that I haven't ever heard a doctor say this but everything is so rare and the research is so new that I'm also not surprised.

This also gives me a chance to get on my knees in prayer--a lot more. God knows my days and has them planned, but I can still pray for health and a long life. I will not live in fear--I don't want to live with any regrets about the life that I have been given and how I lived it. This just gives me yet another opportunity to refocus on the things that are important and not stress about those things that are not (see my previous post about our car woes). I will now get new tires and not even think twice about.

I'd rather spend that time and energy playing with my kids, or hanging out with my husband, or having coffee with friends.

So, if those of you reading this would again join with me in prayer, I would be so grateful.

Pray for wisdom for myself and the oncologist.

Pray for correct and accurate information.

Pray for clear readings of the scans I will get, as soon as the baby is born.

Pray for peace for me and Zac (who wants to face the possibility that your spouse could die--I know everyone has this chance--but it seems to be hitting extra close to the heart right now).

Pray that insurance won't deny the necessary testing (the necessity is very subjective).

And most of all, pray that I will remain cancer-free, by God's grace, for the rest of my life!

We serve an awesome God who is so much bigger than we can imagine. For that, I am so thankful.

Zoo






We took advantage of a BEAUTIFUL fall Saturday last weekend and took the boys to the zoo! It was so much fun. The weather was perfect--not too hot or too cold. We rode the carousel and train and got to see so many animals. Our favorites were the snow leopard cubs (6 weeks old), the giraffe baby (2 weeks old), and the howling wolves.


Did you know that a giraffe's gestation period is 22 months?! And the baby was 162 pounds at birth. Yikes!


We packed our lunch and had a picnic there to top off a wonderful morning. I think what helped make it so special is that Daddy was there! Believe it or not, this was Zac's first time at the zoo (even though we've had a pass for 2 years). He really enjoyed seeing it and it was very helpful for me to have an extra set of hands solely dedicated to attending to our children (because usually I go with friends who are dealing with their own kids, not mine). He lifted them up so they could see all of the animals and was the official stroller pusher--this is not an easy feat, mind you, when you are pushing 65 pounds worth of kids.


A great trip.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Ode to Summer

Summer, oh how we loved you.

Mommy was no longer nauseous or feeling blue.

Swimming pool was quite refreshing and fun with friends, too.

We have popsicle stains on our back deck, along with old sunscreen goo.

Joel got super tan and Mommy and Jesse didn't--sorry, Jesse, you got the genes from you know who.


Slip n' slide and sprinkers, always a kick.

Oh how fast, the time did tick.

Changes are ahead, but these memories will always stick.


To celebrate our last weekend of summer, over Labor Day we went to a great park in Colorado Springs that has a giant fountain that the boys love to play in.










Preschool



I finally got my pictures loads so I am posting a picture of Joel and Jesse on their first day of preschool. As you can see, Jesse was in denial that he had to go--hence the fact that he has no shoes on, is still holding part of his breakfast in his hand, and refused to wear his backpack.


Ahh...poor little guy. He was crying hysterically when I left him this morning--they tell me he recovered eventually.


Joel, on the other hand, is just eating this preschool thing up. He gets to go four mornings a week. Two mornings at the preschool at our church which he started last fall in sort of a "mom's day out/pre-preschool" program that he loved so much we decided to let him go back this year (that's also what Jesse is doing now). And two mornings at the public school to get the special education intervention for Autism--it's all mainstreamed and aside from the support of a special ed teacher and speech therapist, he feels just like he's in regular preschool.


I was a little worried that this would be too much for him, but who was I kidding? This is my extremely extroverted child who is loving it all!

Paperwork

I'll admit it. I'm not very good at it. The more kids we have, the more paperwork that needs to be done. It's exponentially increased since preschool started.

Part of my struggle in this area is lack of organization. Zac has helped put some systems in place that help me tremendously, though.

I was just thinking of this as I have spent the better part of naptime trying to collect receipts and copies of bills to submit for reimubursement from our Health Savings Account. I'm trying to get it all together--this has been one facet of nesting. I want to get reimbursed for everything I possibly can before the baby is born, because after, I might forget and that money will be lost after the new year.

Growing up is no fun.

On that note, we need new tires for our car, alignment, rotors fixed, new brake pads, and a small dent in the back repaired (it was there when we bought the car--we got a great deal because of it--but now it's starting to rust and that's not good).

This is also causing me a slight bit of irritation Another part of growing up I don't like. Who wants to deal with car repair (and find the money for it :)?!

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Trying

I am trying to get more into a blogging routine again...obviously it's not been very successful. For some reason the past few days I haven't been able to upload my pictures on our computer and I don't want to post just the stories without the pictures.

I don't have a picture for this story though. Yesterday evening we were going to take the boys to a play area just as something fun to do after dinner. Joel had been testing us all afternoon--something I'm sure all 3 year olds do with their parents--but he just has this incredible stubborn will that tests, and tests, and tests us. It's physically exhausting to try and stay on top of him and enforce good behavior or compliance for the things we ask him to do. Anyway, we gave him several warnings about his behavior as we tried to get ready to leave and it just wasn't getting through.

So...we cancelled our little outing. The funny thing is that it's just as sad for us as for him. It would have been something fun for all of us, and it's painful to enforce discipline, but being parents is not always fun. If it is, we probably aren't doing something right.

We prayed with Joel before bed and asked God to help him make better choices about obeying today and he did seem to have a slight change of heart...at least for today. :) One day at a time....that's all we need to handle.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Wow!

I am just typing this for the record books. The boys have been playing together, approriately, productively, and with relatively little behavioral intervention from me. It is so wonderful!!! I have been waiting for their relationship to reach this level where they can play more as peers and actually enjoy a few play sequences. Yea!!

While they play, I continue nesting up a storm. Zac said yesterday how ironic it is that a pregnant woman's strongest urge to get a lot of strange things done occurs at the time in her pregnancy when she should be resting the most.

Whatever...I actually think I am getting endorphins from this. I wake up at night thinking about all of the things I need to do to prepare and I feel this weird nervous/giddy feeling. I have to force myself to go back to sleep.

Except for last night when I crawled out of bed (for the 1st time of the night) to go to the bathroom and I almost fell down. I have been having sciatic nerve problems in my back/pelvis/leg--it has happened with each baby, but gotten progressively worse. Anyway, I couldn't put any weight on my right leg. I thought about waking Zac up and asking him to carry me but that seemed a bit over the top. So, I dragged myself in there without too much incident. I'm happy to report it's a little better this morning. :) These are the things you conveniently "forget" about when you decide to get pregnant again.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Busy little bees

Yes, that's what we've been! We moved Jesse into his new room tonight (our old guest bedroom). Originally his new room was going to be Joel's room--they were going to be bedroom buddies. However, after careful thought, I have decided that's not the best thing for them right now. Jesse still has different sleep patterns than Joel, and is also much more introverted than Joel.

In typical Joel fashion (after we'd been out all day), he asked me after naptime, "Where are we going tonight? What friend's house are we going to?" And he doesn't like the answer to be that we are staying home. Every morning when he wakes up he asks me where we are going that morning, and he does the same thing after nap time.

Jesse, on the other hand, prefers to just stay at home and play. All that to say--Jesse still needs a little space from his often smothering, seriously extroverted brother.

Sorry future guests at the Hicks' household. It's back to the futon for you. I just decided that our family sanity day to day is more important than having a guestroom that is rarely used.

Anyhoo....back to Jesse's room. I wasn't really going to decorate it, but I wanted to make the little guy feel special, not like he just got booted out of his room for the new baby. So, Zac and I painted a mural on his wall, painted an old dresser, and bought him some new curtains and a bean bag. The paint was all colors that we already had and the whole makeover was a whopping $30!! I'll post pictures later, Zac has the camera at work.

He's really such a chill kid (except for that independent streak that's cropping up all to often these days) that it doesn't seem to phase him one bit. Zac then pointed out that he has actually slept for almost half of his life in a closet so he's not that picky about his accomodations. The closet thing was when he was a baby and still nursing (in a bassinet in our closet--close enough to get there easily, but with a door to close so we didn't hear his noisy sleeping), when we lived with my parents last summer (and every time we visit now), and when we had company that stayed in his room. The pack n' play really is like his second home.

So, that's what we've been up to. That, along with the 5 preschool orientations I have attended in the past week (Yes, I only have 2 kids in preschool--I'm still trying out why I had to attend so many. It's complicated.).

I also made my official final "nesting to do list" this afternoon. It's a doozie but I think we can get it all done. Item 1 was completed tonight--move Jesse. We are coming upon the home stretch and are getting excited!