Sunday, July 19, 2009

The long and short of it.

So as a follow-up to Brody's previous post, I will share some of my thoughts on the situation. You know, since our "special surprise" principally involves me for the next 7 months (I guess that's good, 2 down already).

Here are my fears:

Once this baby is born I will not be able to leave the house for 6 months straight.

Brody may not be even be walking when this baby is born.

I won't be able to give each of my children the individual time that they need as babies/little people (I want to cherish these times, not just survive).

How will we afford college when or if all four kids go in the span of 5 years?

Will anyone ever want to babysit for us again?

What does this mean for my eye and the treatments I was supposed to receive this year (finally able to proceed after Brody was born...)?

How will I take care of my children in the way that I want to when I am on the couch with morning sickness (and mine lasts all day, for more than just the first trimester)?

How will I go grocery shopping? (I know, when Zac is home but he works long, weird hours and sometimes you just have to get to the store, you know?)


And yet, after I get over the shock of the upcoming changes for our family, I am overwhelmed by God's timing, provision, and love. This was most definitely NOT a surprise for him. He knows all of my concerns and more, and he will carry me through them. And I know that this child will be a blessing--in the normal ways that we already anticipate, but also in ways that I have no way of even knowing yet! What a privilege it is to be a parent!

But more than anything, when I am feeling overwhelmed, tired, and discouraged, or organized, joyful, and energized--either way, I pray that this experience will bring me before the throne of God, my perfect heavenly Father who will supply all of my needs and grow me into the child that he desires me to be.

2 comments:

Kelley said...

What a blessing! Your boys are darling and God will get you through the sickness. Hang in there. God has chosen you to mother these children because you are the best mom for THEM! God decided. Can't wait to check in some more.

Erin said...

Abby! Wow...congrats on your pregnancy! I love your transparency through your words and I completely resonate with all of your "fears" when I think about future baby #2~...it's all relative, huh? Miss you friend...
Joy