Two more...

Fun times on the airplane! The boys are so small that Jesse actually sat in between the two of us for most of the flight...and they didn't even poke or hit each other!


And here we are...on the way to the pool!

We made it!!

And let's just say that the trip really couldn't have been better. It did take me about 10 minutes just to get through the scanner at security (our items filled 4 plastic bins). I had to take 3 pairs of shoes and coats off, pull out the DVD player separately, collapse the stroller and haul it up onto the conveyer belt, put all of our carry-ons in, then make sure I didn't lose a kid. One of the "helpful" TSA men looked at me as I'm trying to hold two sets of hands while doing this and said, "Ma'am, you need to put that stoller on the belt so it can go through the scanner." "Yea, thanks, I'm aware of that...that would be what I'm trying to get to doing at this very moment."

Anyhow, the boys were PERFECT on the airplane. They totally surprised me and it was a great flight! Their forgetful mommy pulled out the DVD player at the end when they got a tad bit antsy, not realizing that 10 minutes later I'd have to shut it off because we were starting our descent (that took 25 minutes) and you have to turn off all electronic devices. Oops. The boys handled it quite well!

We didn't waste any time and got in the pool pronto! It was beautiful, upper 80's, warm water, nice...

Then we ate dinner at Rubio's, one of our favorite CA restaurants, and had popsicles on the patio outside my parent's house after dinner. What a nice evening. Joel is currently trying to fall asleep on his blow-up mattress next to my bed so I'm crossing my fingers!

The pic of naked Jesse is him getting a "bath" on the lawn with a bowl of soapy water after the popsicle. He doesn't really eat them, instead he just lets them saturate him with stickiness. Good times, especially for my mom who's the "clean freak" (I mean that in a good way--my boys are never cleaner than they are when they are around her).

All our bags are packed...

and we're ready to go! We leave for California in the morning. I am pretty excited but also quite sad that Zac will be staying behind. It's not a great family vacation when part of your family isn't there :(. The boys will really miss him too. They are getting old enough that they really feel a hole when daddy isn't around. He provides a different dimension for them that I just can't. Maybe they will be sufficiently distracted by the swimming pool and zoo while we are there!

Hoping for success on the airplane. Some good friends loaned us their portable DVD player yesterday and my anxiety level dropped immediately by about 3 levels. I'll post pics soon!

Pain.

Zac and I were invited to a gathering last night where he shared his sermon from a couple of weeks ago and then we shared a little bit together. As always, it was a really neat time of encouragement and seeing the Spirit move among his people. Afterwards, person after person came up to us to share their individual stories of suffering. It is always so shocking to me that in our culture we sweep suffering under the rug as much as we do. If you have a headache, you take a Tylenol immediately. When we told people about Joel's autism, we were bombarded with recommendations for treatments and therapies. When someone is in the midst of an extreme personal trial, many of their friends avoid them. Someone literally laughed in my face the other day when I told them I might not have an epidural when I deliver this baby. "You don't get a medal for the extra suffering" she said.

No, I don't. But suffering if a part of this world. It is inevitable that EVERYONE will face it in some way, at some time. It is a result of sin and evil in this world. It is a part of the kingdom cycle. In a small way, when we suffer, we can have just a taste of what Christ went through and there is true fellowship in sharing in his sufferings. If we are always shying away from pain ourselves, or from engaging with others when they are in pain, we lose sight of part of the sacrifice that Christ made for us. It can become trite and removed from our everday experiences. I for one, hope that never happens, for in suffering, we receive something that is truly a severe mercy from God.

Yea, baby.

Had another doctor's appt. today for Hicks baby. Everything was good, hearbeat fine. It's always a little reassuring to hear that, although the incredible hormones that I feel surging through my body and cause me to visit the toilet frequently certainly should be enough reassurance. :) In the baby's honor, I put a ticker at the top of my blog to keep track of how far along I am. You know how things are around here, I don't want to lose track of time. I'm trying to really enjoy this pregnancy since it may be my last...who knows!

Something funny the PA at the OB's office told me on my first visit, "So, you should probably only gain around 20 pounds throughout the pregnancy, that's average." I snorted a little (discreetly) and started chuckling. She said, "Oh, did you not gain that much with your other two?" "Oh, no, I gained 55 pounds." "They were twins?" she asked. "Nope."

On a side note, that is not the average weight gain. It's 25-35 pounds. I don't know where she got her numbers. I will say that I went a tad overboard when I was pregnant with Joel, but eating was the only thing that made me stop throwing up (for 8 months). With Jesse, I tried to be a little more moderate, since it was hard losing 55 pounds the first time, but I still gained 45 with him. I think that's just the way my body works. So, here's to gaining 20 pounds by the time I'm only 20 weeks (probably)!

Random pics

Soon it will be this kind of weather again...I can't wait!!


Here's Joel on his first day of preschool last fall. His last day is in a month...time went by fast and he had a great year!










And Joel decided to lock himself and my mom's dog in the crate. I found them this way. :)

Grocery store anyone?

Does anyone else feel like they go to the grocery store every day? Actually, I probably go more like every other day but it sure feels like I need to go every day. Maybe I'm just not the most organized grocery shopper but I do try to be. I plan my meals for the week every Monday and try to do my big grocery run then. It seems however, that I am always running out of something random that I didn't really plan to run out of but certainly need and so again, I head off to the store. Other times we've decided to have people over and I need more food, or there's that bake sale at church that I need to bake something for and I need chocolate chips, or I'm in charge of snack for preschool so I need to go buy snacks for 12 three year olds. It doesn't really matter what it is--there's always something.

On that note...I made my meal plan yesterday but didn't get to the store yet so the boys and I are off. It's not usually very much fun taking a 1 and 3 year old to the store. Sometimes we make it through without incident, other times, not so much. Hopefully today will be the former. I'm still trying to figure out where I'm going to put the new baby when we go shopping. Jesse sits in the seat of the cart, Joel is in the big part (when he starts touching too many things or not keeping up with us, which is most of the time), no more room for an infant seat. Hmmm.... I may have to start going late at night after Zac is home from the work and the boys are in bed.

On a funny note, I was having a hard time getting out of bed the other morning. Joel was standing by the bed, trying to encourage me (he wanted cereal, badly). He handed me my glasses and then actually tried to put them on my face. Then he told me that I just needed to put my feet on the floor and stand up. "You can do it, Mama!" he said. Thanks, buddy.

He likes to talk about the baby in Mommy's tummy. His conversation varies but it usually ends by him reminding me that he also has a baby in his tummy. I always look in on the boys before I go to bed. You never know what I'll find while they sleep quietly--a leg stuck in the rails of the crib, a poopy diaper, someone a millimeter away from falling off the bed, pajamas unzipped all of the way. The other night when I went into Joel's room something looked funny about him. As I looked closer, I realized that there was something inside of his pajamas--it kind of looked like he was 6 months pregnant. I unzipped the pajamas and pulled out two of his security blankies and a toy boat. Weird. :)

Unexpected blessing.

A little over a week ago I posted about the difficult day that I had with Joel and how we were all just a bit down. Well...that evening Zac got home really late from work and came in the door carrying a huge basket. He said it was a "basket of love" from a group to whom we had spoken at church a few weeks earlier. As we opened card after card, and gift after gift, we were truly amazed. We received gift cards to restaurants, grocery stores, ice cream shops, and department stores. We received a lot of cash, special lotions (for me:), a bible, some books, several toys and a video for the boys, and a zoo membership for our whole family for one year!! Wow!! Finances are tight for us right now after some unexpected medical expenses this year and so in addition to just being such a huge gift, it will also be used and much appreciated in helping ease our budget for the next few months. As I look back, I can think of several times that God has blessed us like this in unexpected ways. He has ALWAYS provided for us so generously and I just wanted to share publicly how thankful we are!!

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Speakin' out...

Tonight Zac and I spoke to a group at church, shared our testimonies, a bit of our story these past few years, and sang some songs. Zac did some fancy things with his guitar, a loop pedal, and an old African American spiritual. It was pretty cool.

We share our story to bring God glory for the trials he has (and still is) brought us through, and for the tapestry of grace that we see so clearly woven throughout our lives. We live in a fallen, broken world, but Satan won't have the last word and God brings about redemption even here on this earth.

The boys stayed home with some very capable babysitters. Joel conveniently forgot to mention that he was not allowed to do some naughty things that he did, and he also tried to convince them that his bedtime most certainly was not 8:00 and he didn't have time to go to sleep. What a stinker. Oh well. Zac and I were able to enjoy a nice, uninterrupted dinner with good company at our event so it was all worth it.

We sang this song as a duet. It's a long forgotten hymn that's been set to new music--something that Zac is really passionate about. The words are great!

Beams of Heaven

1. Beams of heaven as I go
through the wilderness below
guide my feet in peaceful ways
turn my midnights into days.
When in the darkness I would grope
faith always sees a star of hope
and soon from all life's grief and danger
I shall be free someday.
I shall be free someday.

2. Often times my sky is clear
joy abounds without a tear
though a day so bright begun
clouds may hide tomorrow's sun.
There'll be a day that's always bright
a day that never yields tonight
and in its light the streets of glory
I shall behold someday.
I shall behold someday.

3. Harder yet may be the fight
right may often yield to might
wickedness a while may reign
Satan's cause may seem to gain.
But there's a God that rules above
with hand of power and heart of love
and if I'm right, he'll fight my battle
I shall have peace someday.
I shall have peace someday.

4. Burdens now may crush me down
disappointments all around
troubles speak in mournful sigh
sorrow through a tear-stained eye.
There is a world where pleasure reigns
no mourning soul shall roam its plains
and to that land of peace and glory
I shall want to go someday.
I shall want to go someday.

©2004 Christopher Miner Music. Words: Charles Tindley

I really need to...

tidy up my house. Somehow it got away from me these past few days and it looks like a bomb went off. I am one of those people who can keep it tidy if it's already spotless, but if things start to get a little messy, it's completely downhill from there and everybody (including me) feels the right to just toss whatever they are holding onto the floor instead of put it away.

That said. I do get a good feeling about tidying up, once I get started. It's getting started that's the hard part. I usually put on a little video for the boys and tell myself I have those 25 minutes to get things clean and in their place.

We needed to get out a bit today after a long day at home yesterday so after Joel's preschool, I took the boys to McDonald's and Gymboree. I ate a Big Mac. I haven't had one of those since I was pregnant with Joel. Weird. I'm still full 4 1/2 hours later. We left Gymboree after a brief period because Joel had quite the naughty streak and since I threatened we would leave I had to make good on it! Naptime seems to have helped the situation immensely.

Can you tell there's just not much going on around here?

I might be crazy...

But we're going on a trip! I swore after we returned from Hawaii (almost 2 years ago--Joel was 17 months and I was almost 8 months pregnant) that we wouldn't travel again until the youngest kid in our family was 4. It was an amazing trip but definitely NOT a vacation. Apparently I have questionable judgement when I'm pregnant because I've decided to do it again.

My parents have a place in the Palm Springs area and they are leaving for 5 weeks tomorrow. Zac and I got some new credit cards that gave us free plane tickets to sign up and so we've decided to go to California. Actually, Zac may not get to go because of work so we are holding out on his ticket but the boys and I are booked. I'm cautiously excited! There's a pool 15 feet from my parent's condo, they have a crib and highchair and some toys there and so we're off! I cannot imagine wearing shorts again and being able to smell the amazing flowers there and eating at some of our favorite "California" restaurants!!

However, the boys don't do so well with change so we are praying that they will have a fun time too and not totally freak out. Especially on the airplane. The idea of flying alone with a three year old and 20 month old isn't exciting. Especially when the younger, squirmier one will be sitting on my lap. They both are non-stop activity and have a propensity to whine. Oh, and did I mention that I have a major throwing up problem on airplanes when I'm pregnant?! How do you hold a one year old and throw up at the same time? My only saving grace (and the reason that we can go) is that we are flying non-stop into Palm Springs so it will be a relatively quick trip. If anyone has any travel solutions or airplane distracting toys, feel free to share!!

Nice weekend!

My mom came up for a couple of days to hang out with us. She babysat on Friday night so Zac and I could go out and provided a much needed helping hand on Saturday and Sunday. My dad is a CPA and this is his final push through tax season so he was busy, busy working at home. I'm still throwing up and feeling pretty sick so that's not fun, although I've had a few okay days this past week and so I'm encouraged that it will pass!

Here are some funny Joel saying from the past week or so...

He found a little cat throw-up from a hairball on the floor at my mom's house and ran in to tell her saying, "Nana, the floor had a vomit! It's sick."

He was looking at the dog yesterday (who was laying feet up on the floor) and Joel said, "Tucker has dots on his hands!"

He's so funny....

Jesse, on the other hand, is not so funny. He has what must be his 83rd cold of the winter right now. I actually think it's been one long cold since last September. This kid...I don't know what to do with him because he is constantly sick. The tubes really helped with his ear infections but the sinus stuff just won't go away. We're going back to the doctor this morning because he has a horrible cough. I feel so bad for the little guy. Is it almost summer?!

Back to reality...

Yes, that's what today was after my brief otherwordly experience yesterday. I'm a bit sore! :)

The boys and I hung around the house today after I got Joel from preschool this morning because we were sort of having a mini blizzard. We got 6 or 7 inches of snow, at least, but have drifts of over 18 inches in some places. Crazy! That's spring in Colorado...

Joel had a tough day today, and I think it was even tougher for his mommy. One of his biggest struggles is being able to play. I know that sounds weird for a 3 year old, but it comes along with the territory of autism. He has little imagination or pretend play skills, so that limits things. He also has a really short attention span and a huge need for sensory input--not a great combo. He rarely will go into the playroom and play appropriately with a toy or activity. Even if I get him started or stay with him the whole time and "guide" him. He just gets up and moves around and engages in less than appropriate activities like throwing (everything), touching off-limits electronics and appliances, knocking Jesse's toys off the table or yanking them away from him, etc. It is so draining for me to be trying to "redirect" him all day when he's not the least bit interested in anything I'd like him to do. His much more favorite activity is defying everything I ask him to do. Timeout count today=I lost count after 15. Spankings today=I don't know but I think it's close to the number of timeouts. I feel really discouraged on days like this. I just wish I could help his little brain function correctly in the area of having fun.

One thing he does love to do is eat. So, in a desperate attempt, I decided we should make popcorn balls. He actually was sort of patient while we did it (it took longer than I thought) and he and Jesse really enjoyed the results (okay, so did mommy!). As we were munching away, I thought with a giggle that this is another one of those things that is so different with a second child. I NEVER would have given Joel a popcorn ball at 19 months. Too sweet. Too chokable (is that a word?). Too sticky. But, desperate times call for desperate measure and Jesse was the first to finish his!

Another life!

Yes, I stepped back into one of my former lives this afternoon for a bit. It was weird. A few weeks ago a lady who is a good friend of ours at church asked if I would play with her for a doubles tennis match this afternoon since they needed a sub. She knew I used to play and thought it would be fun for me to get out (how kind of her:!). Apparently Zac even said he would babysit (which he didn't--someone else came). My first reactions were these:

1. Oh, I don't play tennis anymore.
2. I'm blind in one eye now--I think that makes tennis difficult.
3. I'm pregnant. What if I throw up on the court (I didn't, just about did afterwards though).

But, I'm a sucker and since I thought I had babysitting lined up, I figured I might as well give it a try. And....it was fun! Besides the fact that I completely missed several of the balls on my left side, it was okay. Things came back to me and it felt good to do something so un-mommyish. I couldn't help but think it's weird that I used to spend 25+ hours a week very competitively playing this game and I've played probably 4 times in the 7 years since then. Life just kind of got in the way but I realize that I've missed it! Things came back to me and with some practice, I could probably get back into the swing of things. When the boys get a bit older, and I have this baby, I might try to do it some more!

I wanna be just like you...

I think that's what Jesse is thinking a lot. These past few months, I can literally see him studying Joel's every action and word. If Joel gets a yellow cup, Jesse wants one too. When Joel starts laughing or crying, Jesse does the same. They say the same phrases, laugh at the same things, and make the same requests of me. I never realized until now how much of an influence they will have on each other even at this age, especially Joel for Jesse right now. At only 19 months Jesse wants to be just like Joel! It's cute really...except for when he is copying a tantrum.

It goes both ways, too. I was holding Jesse on my lap the other night and Joel climbed up on the couch and tried to sneakily push Jesse off of my lap and climb on himself. I tried to convince them there was room for both but they weren't buying it. This morning, Zac was praising Jesse for pronouncing the "l" sound in a word (something that's hard for Joel too). Joel piped up and said, "No, Jesse doesn't know how to say "l", only Joel can!". Ahhh, the competitions have begun. I think often how important it will be to try not to show favoritism toward either, or always be harping on one or the other. Zac and I want them to feel little competition, and mostly loyalty and love for one another. We tell Joel frequently that he must be kind and gracious to Jesse (and vice versa) because as brothers they have a very special bond that no one else will have with them. That is my prayer for them this day--that they will know this love and spur one another on twoard good deeds and kindness!

(Don't worry, they are hugging in the picture...not torturing one another!)

That's extra appropriate...

The title of my blog (One Day at a Time) feels extra appropriate lately. Nothing hugely exciting has been happening here. Just trying to get through each day and still try to find the enjoyment. I can't wait to start feeling better. Not only do I feel sick, I feel lazy and tired of sitting on the couch all night (and most of the afternoon). Yuck.

Enough whining for now. Oh, that reminds me that both boys have been incredibly whiny lately. I wonder where they are getting that from! :)

Now, funny things.

The other day Joel woke up from his nap and came running into the room saying, "Hi, Mr. Mommy!" I laughed and he said, "I like that smile!"

He told my mom the other day after we prayed at lunch that you can't see God because he is a Spirit, but he's still really here.

I took him to the bathroom at Chik-fil-A the other day and he pooped (that is rare for him in public). He look at it and yelled, "wow, that was a huge one!!" I know I heard some snickers from the other stall. I just laughed really hard.

Last night we were reading a book about Easter and there's a part where the women go to the tomb that Jesus was in and it's empty. At that point, I usually say, "He went to heaven!" Joel, who is still obsessed with numbers (see previous blogs), beat me to it and said, "He's in seven!". I laughed, he looked perplexed then said with a laugh, "I mean heaven!

Even little Jesse is starting to say funny things. When he wants something, like cookies, he'll ask for it and then give me his preferred answer at the same time.
Like this (Jesse): "Want cookies pease. Yah, okay." How can you deny that request?

Sickness and all, still loving these boys!

Not so good...

I tried to be positive for that last post. I should have added on there that one of the other things that Zac is doing really well at lately is taking care of his sick wife and doing extra duty with the boys. Yes, morning sickness is in full effect. Except that apparently my body doesn't understand the term "morning" because mine lasts from when I wake up until when I go to bed again.

On top of feeling like at any moment I am going to toss my cookies, I also feel like if I close my eyes for more than 5 seconds, I will fall asleep. This is very unlike me, the person Zac has voted as the least likely to take a nap...ever.

The boys know something is up. Joel is taking advantage of my weakened state by being incredibly naughty. This doesn't pair well with my very short fuse right now. And Jesse is just being extremely clingy. He follows me all around the house crying, must sit ON my lap at every meal time, and has lost his ability to play alone.

On a side note: I was ridiculously sick when pregnant with Joel, not so much with Jesse, but this time around it has a slightly differnent feel to it. The idea of food is so repulsive to me. With the boys, it was the only thing that made my stomach feel better, even if it was only for 15 mintues. Maybe it means we're having a girl...!! I'm actually trying not to think about this...it's better just to wait and see. Everyone had me convinced that Jesse was a girl too, and well, he obviously is not.

Happy Birthday, Zac!

Those of you that know Zac well realize this is a week late. Sorry, honey. I really wanted to post this sooner...

Happy Birthday!

Zac is seriously one of the most gifted and talented people I know. Really. I am not just saying that because he is my husband. He can sing your socks off--any kind of music you want, opera, pop, worship music. He is becoming really good at the guitar (electric and acoustic). He writes all kinds of music for all kinds of instruments, and it's really amazing. He is so wonderful at his job that people are knocking on his door all day asking for request from him (sing here, speak there, teach this, etc). He preached a sermon at church a few weeks ago that people are still talking about weeks later. And when he preaches, it's like he's been doing it for years. He can discuss theology and philospophy and politics with grace, and knowledge because he really does know what he is talking about. He wants to get a Ph.D. in a million different fields because he is passionate about so many things (and good at them) that he just can't seem to narrow it down!

If he reads this, he will want me to note that God deserves all of the glory for this. And he does. He created an amazing creation in Zac and I know Zac's biggest desire is to see his giftings used for the glory of God. He is really very humble about this but I can brag about him because I'm his wife.

On the homefront, parenting may not come as naturally to him, he never was really a "kid person". But he loves ours SO much. He is growing more every day in this area and the boys are very blessed to have Zac as their dad. He makes them laugh, he disciplines them consistently, he takes them exploring outside and at Home Depot, he does Wrestlemania with them on the bed, and he will get up in the middle of the night to replace pacifiers in the mouths of those who are crying.

So, on this day (in honor of his birthday last week) I want to say how much I love you, husband! Here's to many more years, Lord willing!