Ordination Pictures

Baptism Pictures

A guy who plays on the worship team at church is also a great photographer and just sent us a bunch of pictures that he took of Zac's ordination and Brody's baptism. We were so excited because all of the pictures that were taken on our camera turned out really poorly :(.

The boys

Wow, I cannot believe it's already Christmas eve tomorrow!

I am so glad that Brody has joined our family, but having him right before the holidays sort of changed the focus around here. Our world has been filled with feedings, doctors visits (for me and Brody), and sleep deprivation. Not exactly good preparation for Advent. Still, I am trying to focus on what's important.

Here are some pics of the boys. Needless to say, I've been a bit distracted. As I was making dinner the other night, Joel was sitting at the table coloring, Brody was napping, and I realized Jesse was awfully quiet in the playroom. Yep, he found my lipstick. Talented guy he is--it was in a zipped up pouch inside of my zipped up diaper bag.

One example of my sleep deprivation is that I also decided to take away Jesse's pacifier for good...cold turkey. I just decided it was messing up his two front teeth and so it was time. Our sweet Jesse, usually so mellow and fun, but also has a streak of fire in him, reacted just that way. He was fiery and mad for about 10 minutes while trying to fall asleep, but has been pretty mellow about it ever since. The jelly beans we got at the store as a special treat for giving up the pacifier helped!

Then there is Joel in all of his 4 year old cuteness (his birthday was officially yesterday).

And poor Brody (and Mommy). We both have been suffering through terrible cold for the past 4 days and getting little to no sleep. It's very hard, and it breaks my hard to hear him struggling to breath and eat at the same time. I actually cried about it last night as he was flailing around on my lap, snorting and gagging. I told Zac that is was "so hard because there was NOTHING more I could do to help him". As I was praying for him and reflecting on that before bed, I realized that was probably the first of many times I will cry tears for my children and say that very same phrase. Lord, have mercy on us and them in the days and years to come:).

Life goes on...

Well, I feel like I am really flying solo now and that our life is resuming a new sort of "normal". It's nice, although I do feel really panicky at moments, wondering how I am going to have the energy and patience to sustain life around this house :).

Went to the dentist--got teeth cleaned and a cavity re-done. Apparently they wear out. That's annoying.

And, while the big boys were in preschool yesterday, Brody and I tried to knock out the rest of our Christmas shopping. We did pretty well, amidst several feeding breaks (for Brody). Newborns aren't very efficient. :) But, I like that I have to stop and "smell the roses" (or poop or milk or spit-up, that is) 8 times a day while I feed him. It's sort of like forced relaxation and my body is thankful for it, I'm sure. He is still waking up two times at night--he's been on the exact same schedule at night since he was born and I keep thinking any day now he might drop one of those feedings. That'd sure be nice!

We are having a new family from church over for dinner tonight, I have a Christmas brunch tomorrow and another one on Friday. Then Sunday Brody is being baptized and we are celebrating Joel's birthday with the family. Maybe things haven't gotten back totally to normal, but I like all of the extra celebrations. 'Tis the season!

Maybe after Christmas I'll find time to write a Christmas letter. I have to get it done sooner or later because Zac and I take the easy route and make our Christmas letters serve double duty as birth announcements. We can't forget poor little Brody...you know, the 3rd child syndrome. :)

Sweet baby Brody

Brody is an incredibly sweet, happy baby. I am not exaggerating when I say that he doesn't cry for more than a total of 5 minutes each day. And I can say how incredible this is because I had one child who was on the extreme opposite of that end (cried for 8-12 HOURS a day). I can't believe I have at least taken the time to post this because it is just so incredible. Zac and I take time every day to thank God for his temperment, because if he was an especially needy baby, I'm not sure I could handle this.

He is quite big, despite difficulty eating. He's not a great nurser and frequently grunts/chokes/coughs/gags/burps while he is supposed to be nursing. After two weeks, he hadn't really gained any weight at all and so I had to start supplementing with formula (I also have a notoriously low milk supply). I am continuing to do so because of his lack of decent nursing still, and also a difficulty drinking from a bottle too. It's considered successful if it takes him less than an hour to drink 2 ounces from a bottle...sigh. But--I am not complaining because he is so precious in every other way, and despite all of this, he still weighs 11 pounds, 8 ounces at only 5 weeks old. He's also grown 2 inches since he was born! He may be the biggest of my boys yet!

He still gets up twice a night to eat--one of those feedings is usually much more difficult than the other and I'm often up for an hour each time. I am tired, but surprisingly not exhausted like I remember being with the other boys. I was a little worried because for the last nine months I was sleeping for 9 hours a night and taking a nap most afternoons with the boys. Maybe I'm using some stored up reserves :)

A shot in the eye.

Yep,that was the highlight of my day :). I went in for a routine visit with my eye tumor doctor and it was discovered that the fluid and swelling are still increasing in my eye. Not so good. So...I received an injection of an experimental medication in the eye to try and help counteract that. It wasn't the most comfortable experience so we are hoping it was successful and I won't have to keep doing it. Our next treatment option is doing some laser therapy. I'll keep you updated.

I'm also getting either an MRI or PET scan before the end of the month (routine checking for cancer spread and so we're praying for a continued all clear on that front!

He's 4 (almost)!!

We celebrated Joel's 4th birthday a tad bit early so that Zac's family could be in on the celebration before they had to leave. We had a very impromptu party with 20 people and it was great!

Joel had a ball and it's so fun to see him soak up all of the attention...he is our consumate extrovert! I was a little busy during the party and we only got 1 picture. Zac did get some great video so we weren't total slacker in the documenting department.

Joel has made some HUGE strides this year, in terms of facing the autism, and we are so proud of his growth. Of course, there are always things we are working on, and new things will come up, but he is learning to face more of these challenges head-on and we can see God so graciously continuing to heal him from this awful disease.

You can call him Reverend.

That's what I keep trying to get Joel to call Zac. Or even "Reverend Daddy", I think that would be funny too.

In all seriousness, Zac was ordained on Sunday in a beautful service. His whole family and mine were able to attend and it was a very special time. He even has his own official robe. I'll get more pics of the event to post later, since Kelley was the official picture taker and they are on her camera.

Zac has worked so hard for several years to prepare for this and I am so proud of him. God has clearly brought him to this point, and also placed in a great church to serve. The people here are really wonderful and have been so kind and supportive of us this past year and a half. So generous in too many ways to tell...but we are continually blown away.

Here is the one picture I got. So proud of Zac.

More pics

There were several pictures in the last post of Brody receiving his treatment for jaundice (sunbathing and lying in the bilibed...which he didn't love). He was on it for 3 days--24 hours a day and that was sad. But, his jaundice did eventually resolve itself, and finally, at 5 weeks, even his eyes aren't yellow anymore. Yea!

The first one on this posting is my niece...so cute. Sam, do you think she looks like Gabby in that picture or is it just me?

The boys all wanted to be swaddles together when they saw Brody...he was red in the face, taking care of some other business, I think.

Joel got an early Christmas tricycle and Jesse enjoys "trying it out".

I'm back!

So I've been getting subtle hints from family members that it's been quite a long time since I've blogged. I didn't intend to break for this long, but in all fairness, we've had quite a bit going on. We've had family in town staying with us almost non-stop since Brody has been born (which I love, incidentally), and so I didn't want to seclude myself in the office/playroom on the computer. Plus, we've celebrated Thanksgiving, Joel's birthday, Zac's ordination, another friend's birthday, surrogate "grandpa's" birthday (my sister-in-law's dad), had 9 doctor's/nurse visits (Brody's had a few minor "problems"), several other holiday parties, whole/extended family professional portraits (10 days after Brody was born, nice...)and a couple of doctor's visits for me...yeah, blogging hasn't exactly been a priority.

But, now it is all coming to an end (after the 2 parties and 1 concert we are attending this weekend :), and I plan to stick to more of a schedule around here--until Christmas which is in two weeks.

But for now, I'll just post some pictures of various cute boys in my house (and some not so cute ones with mommy in them).

Oh my.

I had that thought several times today.

I am wondering what I have gotten myself into. 3 kids 3 years and under. Oh my.

My mom is still here helping which has been a HUGE blessing. Our transition to a family of 5 has been made much more difficult by the fact that everyone keeps getting sick around here. A stomach bug and a nasty cold keep getting passed around.

Finally, I think the stomach thing has run it's course (and thankfully skipped me and Brody). Jesse is finishing his antibiotic for a sinus infection and is getting much better. Joel goes into the doctor with Brody in the morning and he will probably get an antibiotic for the same thing...he woke up from his nap with a fever and his cough has just become really nasty.

Little Brody is still struggling with the jaundice, although he is off of the bili lights right now. Part of his struggle is also a lack of weight gain. He hasn't increased his weight for 6 days (we go in every day for a weight check and a billirubin check) and the doctor finally told me I need to supplement the breastfeeding with formula too.

Anyway, this is part of the reason for a lack of posting and also a lack of pictures. I am taking some but Zac has been downloading on his new computer so I need to get them on mine too.

But aside from all of the sickness, I think the boys are having normal adjustment difficulties to our family change, and that has created extra work and energy drain. I know we'll make it through this but it's gonna be tough!

Brody's Birth Video

Sunbathing anyone?

Our little dude looks a little bit like a pumpkin...and it's not in honor of Halloween. He has jaundice and will soon commence sunbathing in a little "bili-bed" that is being delivered to our home momentarily. I'll try to post some pics later.

It's a bummer, but it makes me so thankful that we live in a time and place where medical attention is available immediately. Just a few hours ago we were at the doctor getting his blood draw...those people work fast.

Other than that, things are going well here. The boys have been at Nana and Papa's house for the week because they have colds. But, they return for dinner tonight and we are so excited for everyone to be together again!

Brody Jaron Hicks!

Our newest little guy arrived this evening!

Our son's name will be a reminder to our family and to him of his constant need of God's grace in his life. Brody is Gaelic for "muddy place." Jaron is Hebrew, meaning, "he will sing, he will cry out." Psalm 40:2-3 is where these two names come together: "He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire. He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth; a hymn of praise to my God." From the mud to a new song...his name encapsulates the message of the Bible and the glue that holds our family together...Jesus Christ, our Lord.

He was a very healthy 8 lbs. 6 oz and this Mommy was glad that he decided to make his appearance 11 days early! He resembles different parts of the other boys and it will be fun to watch him grow!

Joel and Jesse were quite excited to meet him! They marched into the room beaming with pride and proceeded to give him lots of gentle pats and kisses. Joel was already acting very protective of Brody--reminding people not to take pictures with a flash so it wouldn't hurt his eyes, and telling the nurse to be careful when she bathed him. He stood there and watched her the entire time with this very skeptical look on his face and quickly pointed out when a few bubbles of soap got near his mouth. Thanks, buddy!

My parents made it home from a trip just in time to stay home with the big boys and Zac and I are enjoying our little "vacation" in the hospital.

More to come, we are ready for a little rest around here!

Halloween

This picture doesn't quite do the whole scenario justice. We ran into a 200 pound mastiff dog sniffing a 10 pound little black dog, dressed up as a fire hydrant! The big dog's head seriously was the size of a large watermelon. Incredible.

My 9+ month pregnant self trying to pull up my pants just a little more. That seems to be a most frequent occurence in my life these days.

Our knight in shining armor. He abandoned his shield for a piece of licorice midway through the evening.

Fireman Jesse!

We took the boys trick or treating last night with some friends. It was a nice evening--ate some pizza, got some candy (walked a long time so I might go into labor), and then went back home for some apple cider. This was also the warmest Halloween on record for Colorado--mid 60's when we were out at 8:00 at night. Nice.

The night was actually slightly monumental because it marks the FIRST time I have ever participated in Halloween--even as a kid. I didn't really see what the big deal about the whole thing is, after being disappointed every year of my childhood that I wasn't participating (I think I was mostly just sad back then because I didn't get candy).

Joel thought it was really fun. Jesse rode in his stroller clutching his (mostly empty) candy bag the majority of the time.

They did, however, leave their costumes on the entire night which seems like some sort of victory to me!

Weird.

As I sit here feeling very pregnant, I am reminded of what a strange thing going into labor is. I could have a baby in my arms in 6 hours, or it could be 3 more weeks. That is so weird.

And at least for me, there were no big warning signs with either of my boys that it was going to happen when it did. With both of them, I went to bed feeling "normal" and woke up early in the morning having contractions.

But it is so exciting you know? The fact that a miracle is about to happen. I'm trying to cherish the moments (though they may feel like many right now).

S'mores.

We went to a friend's house last night to make s'mores in her fire pit in the backyard. Joel was excited about it all day--he's made them two other times and it has been quite the fun experience for him. Who doesn't love fire and sugar combined?

So we're there, he eats a billion marshmellows and an actual s'more, plays with other kids, rolls in the leaves, etc. The boys got to stay up really late which is rare for them. And when I'm tucking him in bed he says, "Goodnight, Mommy. Wait, we forgot to make s'mores!!". He was serious.

Where have you been, buddy?

I'm pretty sure it is 10 pm.

You just had a bath because you were sticky and dirty.

And our entire laundry room smells like smoke from our clothes.

Don't worry, I promise you didn't miss it.

On a lighter note...pictures!

My mom and I at my baby shower...I finally got these pictures off of her camera! (6 weeks to go in that picture)
Mom, sister-in-law, and other mom-in-law-in-law (it's my brother's wife's mom but she feels like family!)
Nana with her first grandson and first granddaughter (may be the only granddaughter at the rate we are going). It's my brother's daughter but I feel like she and Joel definitely share a resemblance!
Our funny little dude...just a random picture

One more from Stella's first birthday a couple of weeks ago!

Now what?

It's hard for me to schedule and make time for things like teeth cleanings, routine doctor's visits, eye exams, haircuts, etc... They all seem to fall into the category of "important but not important enough to make me schedule them with consistency. I'm not sure if it's because I don't want to spend the money, or I just don't like going (I think it's the former...seriously, $75 to count the boys teeth and give them a little polish?! I could do that at home :).

All that to say, I made an appointment with a new oncologist and Zac and I went this morning while the boys were in preschool (yes, possibly my last free morning before baby comes). Some new research has come to my attention and I've realized I need to take my cancer follow-up a little more seriously.

I will make a long story short and just say we didn't click with the doctor. The words condescending, unaware of current info (which is somewhat understandable since my cancer type is so rare), wouldn't listen to me, and didn't answer my questions, are a few phrases that are at the top of my mind. And just in case I thought I was crazy, when we stepped into the elevator, Zac said, "We've got to find a new doctor. I'm so angry I almost walked out of there."

It's not that I am living my life in fear now. I really do trust God and his plans for my life. But for some reason he has given me some new information about this cancer and access to resources and testing that could be extremely helpful. I'm 29 years old with a wonderful husband and 3 little boys (almost). I don't think it's wrong to want to be a a little proactive about things.

So, now I must find a new oncologist, and continue to pray that I will find someone compassionate who hears my concerns and will partner with me on this journey.

Nothing cuter.

Two things I think are very cute.

Little boys sleeping in their car seats.

Little boys in their pajamas.

We went to a party after church yesterday and both boys conked out in their carseats on the way home...I love that! (I took a pic of Joel too but they were from my phone and it keeps giving me an error message when I try to download his, sorry Joel).

And to make the day a little more exciting, I had a labor "false alarm" last night. I was having consistent contractions for 3 hours and was concerned it might be the real thing (I'll be less concerned if I can make it at least one more week). But...they went away after I went to bed and so now I feel a bit more urgency in getting the final preparations taken care of around here!

The other boys.

I posted those pics of our soon-to-be newest little guy but here are some of Joel and Jesse too. We had a playdate this morning and the mom just happens to be a really great photographer and she was kind enough to send these to me!

Thanks, Jamie!

Baby Hicks!

I had another ultrasound today!

It contained all good news. The amniotic fluid looks great, the placenta is nice and out of the way (that was the concern...placenta previa), all of the organs look great and baby is 5 lbs. 12 oz.

That means if I go full term he will be a 9 pound baby. Yikes...I think I am going to start running up and down the stairs at 38 weeks. I've already had one really difficult delivery (for other reasons) and would prefer to avoid another.

The coolest part was that she did a few picks with the 3D/4D machine! We didn't have that with the other boys.

Who do you think he looks like? I'm thinking Zac from the nose up, and me from the mouth down. :) This is pretty amazing huh? The pictures look more grainy on here than they did at the office but in the last picture, he is giving us a kiss!

Just call him Rev.

That's what my hubby is now! Reverend Zachary Hicks.

Sounds nice.

He finally finished up all of the requirements for ordination in our denomination this past weekend and boy, is he relieved! It's been quite a long process (made more difficult by switching to a sister denomination when he changed jobs last year).

Doesn't he look relaxed and relieved?! We went to the birthday party right after all of his examining was over, where his official duty was to dedicate Stella. It was a nice ceremony.

I couldn't be more proud :).