Panic

I've had a few moments of panic recently. I am in the wonderful first trimester of pregnancy, almost 8 weeks. This is the point where I started feeling extremely sick with Joel, and continued to throw up almost daily for the next 6 months. Yes, my "first trimester morning sickness" lasted for 71/2 months of pregnancy and was all day long. Looking back, I'm not sure how I survived it. I think my saving grace is that I was only working very minimally part-time, had no other children, and Zac was gone 16 hours a day. I mostly layed on the couch and felt sorry for myself.

Now, I don't have that luxury. The boys are a very demanding 3 and 18 months and they just don't have the patience or understanding for a mommy who is a little bit under the weather all of the time now. I am praying it doesn't get much worse than this because I seriously don't think I could care for them in the way that I want to. Such is the life of a mommy I guess, you just press on, even when sometimes you think that you can't. Joel is actually kind of fascinated with the whole concept of throwing up. He calls it "having a vomit". Maybe he would be entertained by my sickness. I am writing this entry for the blog in hopes that I may read it if we are ever contemplating having another child and remember what I could be getting myself into, except then I'll have three other kids running around. :)