Wednesday, February 18, 2009

How do you know?

So this is something I've been pondering lately, and someone brought it up at a prayer group the other day and so I thought I'd throw it out there.

How do you know when you are done having kids?

In some circumstances, physical limitations make it obvious--like you have extreme difficulty getting pregnant and maybe it just isn't going to happen again, or you have had physically traumatic deliveries/pregnancies that force you to stop, or you are getting up there in years, or you have an illness, etc.

But when everything seems to go fairly smoothly, how do you know when to stop? Do people just "know" when they are done? I've heard some people say that, but I've also had friends say they agonized about it for years and either just took the plunge and had another, or agonized so long that then it was too late for more kids.

Hmmm...I used to think I wanted 4 kids. That seemed pretty normal (although maybe slightly chaotic). Since I've started having my own, 4 sure seems like a lot :).
But then I have to remind myself that they won't be this young forever, and life won't be so physically exhausting--although I know we will always be just as busy, it will take on different forms.

And what role do finances play? Or house size? Or the desire to travel or allow kids to participate in extracurriculur activities?

All I know is that I feel pretty overwhelmed at times right now and money is tight, but I can't imagine never having another baby. But then again, I say that after each of my children is born. It truly is a miracle. Someday I will just have to learn to appreciate the memory of that miracle for myself, and celebrate it in the present with others :).

Did any of you "know" one way or the other?

1 comment:

Wendy Anderson Schulz said...

Oh how timely. I have been trying to figure that out as well. It is pretty difficult for us to have kids, so most likely we are finished. But the thought of "never" is so sad to me. It makes me squeeze little Emily all the more and beg Sarah to stop growing so fast! These are precious days for sure.