Weird.

As I sit here feeling very pregnant, I am reminded of what a strange thing going into labor is. I could have a baby in my arms in 6 hours, or it could be 3 more weeks. That is so weird.

And at least for me, there were no big warning signs with either of my boys that it was going to happen when it did. With both of them, I went to bed feeling "normal" and woke up early in the morning having contractions.

But it is so exciting you know? The fact that a miracle is about to happen. I'm trying to cherish the moments (though they may feel like many right now).

S'mores.

We went to a friend's house last night to make s'mores in her fire pit in the backyard. Joel was excited about it all day--he's made them two other times and it has been quite the fun experience for him. Who doesn't love fire and sugar combined?

So we're there, he eats a billion marshmellows and an actual s'more, plays with other kids, rolls in the leaves, etc. The boys got to stay up really late which is rare for them. And when I'm tucking him in bed he says, "Goodnight, Mommy. Wait, we forgot to make s'mores!!". He was serious.

Where have you been, buddy?

I'm pretty sure it is 10 pm.

You just had a bath because you were sticky and dirty.

And our entire laundry room smells like smoke from our clothes.

Don't worry, I promise you didn't miss it.

On a lighter note...pictures!

My mom and I at my baby shower...I finally got these pictures off of her camera! (6 weeks to go in that picture)
Mom, sister-in-law, and other mom-in-law-in-law (it's my brother's wife's mom but she feels like family!)
Nana with her first grandson and first granddaughter (may be the only granddaughter at the rate we are going). It's my brother's daughter but I feel like she and Joel definitely share a resemblance!
Our funny little dude...just a random picture

One more from Stella's first birthday a couple of weeks ago!

Now what?

It's hard for me to schedule and make time for things like teeth cleanings, routine doctor's visits, eye exams, haircuts, etc... They all seem to fall into the category of "important but not important enough to make me schedule them with consistency. I'm not sure if it's because I don't want to spend the money, or I just don't like going (I think it's the former...seriously, $75 to count the boys teeth and give them a little polish?! I could do that at home :).

All that to say, I made an appointment with a new oncologist and Zac and I went this morning while the boys were in preschool (yes, possibly my last free morning before baby comes). Some new research has come to my attention and I've realized I need to take my cancer follow-up a little more seriously.

I will make a long story short and just say we didn't click with the doctor. The words condescending, unaware of current info (which is somewhat understandable since my cancer type is so rare), wouldn't listen to me, and didn't answer my questions, are a few phrases that are at the top of my mind. And just in case I thought I was crazy, when we stepped into the elevator, Zac said, "We've got to find a new doctor. I'm so angry I almost walked out of there."

It's not that I am living my life in fear now. I really do trust God and his plans for my life. But for some reason he has given me some new information about this cancer and access to resources and testing that could be extremely helpful. I'm 29 years old with a wonderful husband and 3 little boys (almost). I don't think it's wrong to want to be a a little proactive about things.

So, now I must find a new oncologist, and continue to pray that I will find someone compassionate who hears my concerns and will partner with me on this journey.

Nothing cuter.

Two things I think are very cute.

Little boys sleeping in their car seats.

Little boys in their pajamas.

We went to a party after church yesterday and both boys conked out in their carseats on the way home...I love that! (I took a pic of Joel too but they were from my phone and it keeps giving me an error message when I try to download his, sorry Joel).

And to make the day a little more exciting, I had a labor "false alarm" last night. I was having consistent contractions for 3 hours and was concerned it might be the real thing (I'll be less concerned if I can make it at least one more week). But...they went away after I went to bed and so now I feel a bit more urgency in getting the final preparations taken care of around here!

The other boys.

I posted those pics of our soon-to-be newest little guy but here are some of Joel and Jesse too. We had a playdate this morning and the mom just happens to be a really great photographer and she was kind enough to send these to me!

Thanks, Jamie!

Baby Hicks!

I had another ultrasound today!

It contained all good news. The amniotic fluid looks great, the placenta is nice and out of the way (that was the concern...placenta previa), all of the organs look great and baby is 5 lbs. 12 oz.

That means if I go full term he will be a 9 pound baby. Yikes...I think I am going to start running up and down the stairs at 38 weeks. I've already had one really difficult delivery (for other reasons) and would prefer to avoid another.

The coolest part was that she did a few picks with the 3D/4D machine! We didn't have that with the other boys.

Who do you think he looks like? I'm thinking Zac from the nose up, and me from the mouth down. :) This is pretty amazing huh? The pictures look more grainy on here than they did at the office but in the last picture, he is giving us a kiss!

Just call him Rev.

That's what my hubby is now! Reverend Zachary Hicks.

Sounds nice.

He finally finished up all of the requirements for ordination in our denomination this past weekend and boy, is he relieved! It's been quite a long process (made more difficult by switching to a sister denomination when he changed jobs last year).

Doesn't he look relaxed and relieved?! We went to the birthday party right after all of his examining was over, where his official duty was to dedicate Stella. It was a nice ceremony.

I couldn't be more proud :).

Happy Birthday, Stella!

My niece turned one last week and she had quite the party to celebrate on Saturday! I obviously did not do a good job of taking pictures...I was distracted by all of the celebrating. All I got was her trying to get more of Joel's creamers away from him. She looked darling so I'll have to get some pictures from the rest of my family to post.

She and Joel are "officially" best friends now...it's a bond that's been growing all summer and now I think it's mutual (before he sort of smothered her, now she likes it!).

Croup.

Yep, that's what Joel got. He had all of the signs, except for the all-important fever. Well, that came when he woke up from his nap on Tuesday (after I made him run lots of errands with me...sad for him, I know....feeling mommy guilt).

He was fairly sick until today, but a steroid received last night really seemed to help him.

But, it has been a long few days around here. No napping. Lots of wanting to be held. Lots of whining and crying. Whew, I'm tired and lacking a little patience right now. I think my well dried up.

So, with great thanks to my parents, I left the boys in their competent hands to spend the next two nights at their house. Zac is being ordained this weekend and I wanted to attend the meetings to hear him speak, lead worship, and be examined by the presbytery (our denomination's governing body). I am so thankful to get this opportunity and am also looking forward to a little "mommy break".

We will reunite with the boys on Saturday for my niece's 1st birthday party, where Zac will officiate her dedication (his first official duty as a Reverend, we hope!). '


Side note: I'm definitely feeling very "pregnant" now and I actually told Zac last night that I don't know if I can do this for 5 more weeks. But, I will. Because I don't have a choice. And I know it doesn't really get any easier with a newborn around. At least now I'm still getting a little bit of sleep! :) Plus, it probably won't be a full 5 weeks (I hope!) since both boys were early.