Maybe not.

Oh, it's been a little while hasn't it? Remember when I said I thought we had a nice schedule for fall and we were looking forward to our activities? I think I lied. Maybe I'm thinking that because I was driving for an hour and a half yesterday and today, just shuttling us around from one thing to another. Or maybe it was the fact that I burst into tears when I got the boys home from AWANA tonight after Zac asked how it went.

Let's just say, I think we are going to be AWANA drop-outs. This is not because it isn't an amazing program--it is and we have some really special leaders and participants--but it's just too much for us.

As many other moms do I'm sure, I am feeling slightly overwhelmed with the burden of household details lately. Those details of cooking, cleaning, meal planning, appointment scheduling, therapy coordinating, laundry washing, trash taking, car washing (well, actually I don't think I've done that one in awhile), child refereeing, and playdate hosting have now expanded to include the kid's activities. When's gymnastics? When am I supposed to attend Joel's field trips and Jesse's field trips and where were we going again? Have I gotten a sitter to watch Brody for those field trips? Who's class do I have to bring snack for this week and what kids have what allergies? (Uh, sorry, that was produced in a factory where they also have peanut products, can you bring something else?) Did you learn your memory verse for school? Are you wearing red because it's "Clifford day" today? Do you have your show n' tell? It's a bit overwhelming.

And all of that reminds me, I think Brody only has 3 diapers left. Great. Because I was really looking forward to a trip to Costco with my "crew" tomorrow--the one day we don't have anything else to do. Something about that place makes them all combust. It's like they have super-sized tantrums just to match the food portions.

I think a small part of my problem getting organized is that the two mornings a week that the big boys are both in school, I have other commitments (MOPS, leadership meetings, and Bible study). I'm not exactly sure how that happened but it's cramping my style a little bit. And you know what else? I think I'm experiencing some pre-anxiety for when I have to throw two more kids into this "school stuff", one right after the other. Oh, just one day at a time right?

And while I'm venting, let me just say how difficult it's been to schedule a simple appointment to see the dentist. I've had to call back and reschedule 3 times because none of my appointments have worked for our/Zac's schedule to be home and watch the boys and I used up all of my babysitting credit with friends in the past few weeks. Finally, this last time the receptionist offered for me to bring ONE of the kids and she would help watch that ONE. Um, thanks, but what am I supposed to do with the other two? It's not like I really even want to go to the dentist, but I think I have a cavity, so I need to do the responsible adult thing and just make it happen. Because we all know that what's worse than having a cavity filled is having to get a root canal. And if that happened, I'd have to make another appointment and find another babysitter.

Maybe it all just comes down to my dentist phobia. I had never had a cavity until I got pregnant with Joel. When I went in for a cleaning when I was 8 months pregnant, I nearly fell off the chair when the dentist told me I had nine. NINE??!! What? He attributed it to the fact that I had been throwing up daily for the previous 7 months and it had likely weakened my tooth enamel. Whatever happened, I now experience PTSD every time I go to the dentist's office. Especially when I'm pregnant, which, incidentally is now, and has also been quite often in the past 4 years. ACT with fluoride, I hear you calling my name!