Oh my.

Um, so I should have knocked on wood as I typed my last post. A lot of wood. Like a whole forest.

Because no sooner did my fingers leave the keyboard than Jesse has a doozie of a tantrum. In fact, I'm quite certain it's topped the Hick's family list of all-time worst moments.

The scene of the incident occurred while we were picking Joel up from preschool. Jesse decided halfway from the parking lot to the building that his legs didn't work anymore and he flopped onto the group like an al dente spaghetti noodle. Only too bad for him, because it didn't leave a nice taste in my mouth. He insisted that he just couldn't walk and I MUST carry him immediately.

Since it was such a balmy 76 degrees outside I had decided to just pop Brody out of his infant car seat (because with him in it, the whole thing has to weigh 58 pounds) and just carry him to school, thus leaving my arms already occupied. In a feat of superhuman strength (or mostly desperation) I have often carried Joel and Jesse together, which total quite the poundage also--it definitely exceeds 58 pounds. But I can't carry another small child along with Brody because his body is still too floppy and he needs the full attention of both of my arms.

Anyhoo...I left Jesse sprawled on the concrete for a few minutes, but then we were getting late, so I somehow cajoled his crying self over to Joel's classroom, where he again proceeded to sprawl in the hallway, blocking all of the nearby kindergartners who were innocently trying to get to recess. The nerve! At this point, he was accompanying the sprawl with a constant moan.

One of the moms sympathetically said to me, "Oh, poor guy, maybe he's not feeling well." What I wanted to say in response (but didn't) was that even if he IS feeling well now, he won't be in a few minutes if we ever actually make it back to the car.

Joel's preschool aide kindly hauled Jesse to the door for me--she even got a quick giggle out of him--but then it was back to business (for him and her). Now he is screaming and crying and trying to sprawl again, except that I have grabbed his hand and so he can't get all of the way down to the ground. I half dragged him out of the building (hoping I didn't dislocate his shoulder...that would have made me feel kinda bad even though he WAS behaving like Frankenstein). Finally he was able to put a little weight on his noodle legs and we dragged/walked to the car, with him screaming all the way.

But, oh no, the story doesn't end there.

I ask him to please get into his car seat and he proceeds to scream NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! about 8 times in a row. So I calmly climb into the back of the car and give him a spanking. This must have been some sort of personal challenge to him because that "no" multiplied in volume and intensity threefold. I drove the .2 of mile distance home (praise the Lord we live close) and commanded him out of the car.

Repeat previous paragraph.

So I lift him out of the car, explaining what his next punishment will be, and he slaps me on the face with each of his angry little hands. He would have continued but I quickly restrained all four limbs, and in a moment of great sanctification (again, praise the Lord) simply marched up to his crib, dropped him in, and left him there.

For 30 minutes.

It took that long for me to feel like he was calm enough to actually receive a punishment. And he accepted his punishment graciously. And we moved on with our day.

Jesse is a hard one for me to figure out. 85% of the time he is as sweet and mellow as can be. But he can quickly turn into something like this--although, it's never been that bad before.

All this to say, that regarding my last post, no it wasn't my child who screamed during church. He was saving his up for today. :)

For the record...

It was NOT one of my children that let out an ear-piercing scream during a service at church this evening.

I would never let my children behave that way.

Ahem...

Truth is, it very likely could have been one of my children, except that we had already exited the sanctuary and fled for the cry room because of an impending tantrum. In a brilliant moment of motherly intuition, I avoided a most embarrassing situation. I wasn't so on my game 3 weeks ago, however, when Jesse screamed, "Mommy, rub my back!" right in the middle of our pastor's prayer.

Unfortunately, my friend who was sitting next to us also wasn't so lucky. And let's just be honest, that could happen to any of us.

These are the things I know I thought and probably even said out loud to Zac a few times BK ("before kids"):

My children will never throw tantrums when we are out shopping. Those moms need to take control of their children

My children will eat what I serve them or starve--I'm not a short order cook.

My children will never hit/bite/kick/push another child.

My children will never leave the house in their pajamas, a bizarre costume, with dried food on their face, or with their hair uncombed. Show some respect!

My children will never talk back.

My children will obey me the first time I make a request.

My children will greet people appropriately and always say "please" and "thank you".

...and then I had kids. And everything changed.

Come on, didn't anyone else do this too?

I still don't necessarily condone any of this behavior, but let's be real. Kids are kids and, frequently, they will act like kids. Zac and I do our best to be consistent with our boundaries, clear with our expectations, and swift with our punishments when necessary. But learning to obey, respect, communicate, and act appropriately is a process. And it takes lots of correction, praise, and effort.

And honestly, we are still learning to pick our battles too. If Joel wants to wear a batman costume to the grocery store, what's the big deal? Will the world come to an end if the spaghetti sauce doesn't get washed off of Jesse's face for a couple of hours, and heaven forbid, some actually sees him that way? Doubtful.

We pray daily for God's wisdom--to know when to show mercy and tenderness, and to know when to be firm and unyielding. Oh, it's so hard to know which one some times!

Shame on me for being judgmental before I even had a clue. No parent is perfect, some are struggling more than others, but most of us desperately love our children and are trying to raise them the best we can. May God show US mercy and grace in the process.

And for the record...I'm going to go put the kids to bed now, 20 minutes later than I intended to, and I'll be sure to get that sauce off of their faces! :)

This is what we're doing...

...enjoying the snow! Seriously, it is so beautiful!! It's been so warm and dry here most of the winter and we have needed the moisture. Plus, it's supposed to be in the 70's all next week so we are thankful for probably the last snow of the season!

Plus, it means Zac HAD to stay home today from several commitments at church--so I quickly recruited him to help me shovel and clean the house. I'm quite certain he rather would have been at work :).

Light over darkness.

We have had several occasions in the past few years where we have truly felt spiritual warfare going on in our family/personal lives. I am so quick to forget that this is truly a real thing that occurs and something we constantly need to pray against.

However, I was reminded this weekend as we experienced several things that had to be the enemy at work.

Zac has been working very hard at church to plan 10 different services this week for Easter (mid-day every day, Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and 4 services this morning). He has poured so much time, heart, and energy into this, in hopes that people will be reached for Christ, ministered to during this special season, and that God will be truly glorified.

Thursday night after the service he came home completely discouraged They tried some different things and he felt like it was a big flop. He usually doesn't react like that so I was surprised at the depth of his disappointment.

Turns out, I can't tell you how many people have told him how meaningful and moving it was--so opposite of how he felt. Definitely Satan at work, trying to get him nice and discouraged right as the weekend was gearing up.

Friday night he is in the middle of the Good Friday service, sitting in the front with all of the other pastors, and his nose just starts gushing blood. He calls me on his cell phone from a small room behind the stage of the church sort of in a panic, asking me what to do. Weird. Again, the enemy at work.

Pouring rain this morning forces them to move the sunrise service inside at the last moment. We've had plenty of chilly Easters before, but RARELY does it rain so early in the morning like this.

I intended to have a relaxed morning with the boys, talking about Easter, enjoying each other's company, and getting to church in plenty of time to feel settled and ready to worship.

What happened was that Brody woke up at 5 am for the day and proceeded to cry until 8when I finally got him to sleep after an extra feeding and several minutes of swaying, bouncing, shushing, etc. Then Jesse took over where Brody left off and cried non-stop about various things until we finally got out of the door. I was trying to get dressed and once I was finally ready, I couldn't find the mate to one of my shoes, my second earring, or my watch--things that are all usually in the same place. Then as I'm rushing out the door because we are getting late at this point, the zipper on my skirt breaks. So, I had to rethink the whole outfit and change, again. It's pouring rain the whole way to church and we encounter a giant traffic jam in the parking lot, which reinforces the fact that we truly will be late (this is my pet peeve--even with many small children I've probably only been late to church a couple of times in the past 2 years--I hate rushing in to church, frustrated and stressed, and then trying to get my heart in the right place to worship God). Plus, how do I get 3 little people into church, in the rain, without getting totally drenched myself?

I yelled at they boys while we were trying to get ready, and was just not a very nice mommy. Not exactly the leisurely, reflective, meaningful morning I had expected. I always am here alone getting the boys and myself ready, to church, and into various nurseries, and while I would love to do it with my partner, I don't have that luxury--Sundays aren't really family days. To be honest, it's just always been that way and it doesn't bother me too entirely much. But this morning it did. The enemy?

Anyway, we made it, and everything was fine. And the service was AMAZING. Truly full of worship and I felt God's grace so clearly. There was an energy in the air and I hope God was glorified and exalted. He is RISEN. HE is risen, indeed!

He will ALWAYS triumph over Satan and one day will put that battle to an ultimate end. What a day that will be, and until then, we will continue to worship him here, while we rest in his loving care and protection.

Randomness

We are all feeling almost 100% better (except I am still trying to catch up on sleep and Brody is "relearning" how to sleep through the night).

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Jesse was building a tower of blocks yesterday and said, "Look Mommy! I'm building a tower for my Daddy!" To which Joel replied, "What Daddy?"

Sheesh...I know he's been really busy and at work a lot lately, but that's a little over the top don't you think?

(Side note: Jesse has been obsessed with hats and hoods ever since he was old enough to communicate that he wanted to wear one. See this old post on it here. Anyway, he wears a hood almost every day and I forget it's weird until someone makes a comment.)

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Joel had "Beary Special Day" at preschool today. We made a poster "together" and he took it to school to show his friends. It was pretty much one of those school assignments where it is a great bonding experience for parent and child to create a work of art together, that expressively reflects the unique character of the child.

Or something like that.

What it ended up being was me laboring for 2 hours to find just the right pictures while trying to keep Joel, Jesse, and Brody from eating/stepping on/destroying it. I can't wait when they all get to the age where we have to do even more school projects, especially things for the science fair (note my sarcasm). I think I'm going to make an executive decision to delegate those projects to Daddy...if we have one by then, according to Joel.

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The boys and I have been talking about rhyming words lately. I point out things and ask them to come up with words that rhyme. Mostly, they just removed the first letter from the word I gave them--like with "cat", they'll just say, "at rhymes with cat!".

So last night Joel said to me, "Mommy, my blankie (their blankies are there best friends and they talk--this is not unusual) told me what rhymes with castle... astle rhymes with castle". This doesn't look so funny when I write it out but you say the word "astle" and see what it sounds like to you. I wish Zac would have been home to hear that. Joel thought I was laughing at his brilliance, and I didn't enlighten him. I promise, he has never heard that word at home :).

A glimpse into our past 10 days...

These guys right here...



have been quite sick. Which has required the acquisition of all of this...



...which inevitably leads to a lot of this... (I like to call it "The Trifecta" and it's killer against the diaper rash that always accompanies being on antibiotic. Thank goodness at least one of them poops in the toilet)...



...and not a lot of this... I am one TIRED mama!!!




3 ear infections, a sinus infections, respiratory wheezing...we have it all! But, I think the light may be at the end of the tunnel. And we are only slightly poorer after all of the co-pays and prescriptions that far exceeded our monthly budget allotment :).

Good thing spring is here!