For the record...

It was NOT one of my children that let out an ear-piercing scream during a service at church this evening.

I would never let my children behave that way.

Ahem...

Truth is, it very likely could have been one of my children, except that we had already exited the sanctuary and fled for the cry room because of an impending tantrum. In a brilliant moment of motherly intuition, I avoided a most embarrassing situation. I wasn't so on my game 3 weeks ago, however, when Jesse screamed, "Mommy, rub my back!" right in the middle of our pastor's prayer.

Unfortunately, my friend who was sitting next to us also wasn't so lucky. And let's just be honest, that could happen to any of us.

These are the things I know I thought and probably even said out loud to Zac a few times BK ("before kids"):

My children will never throw tantrums when we are out shopping. Those moms need to take control of their children

My children will eat what I serve them or starve--I'm not a short order cook.

My children will never hit/bite/kick/push another child.

My children will never leave the house in their pajamas, a bizarre costume, with dried food on their face, or with their hair uncombed. Show some respect!

My children will never talk back.

My children will obey me the first time I make a request.

My children will greet people appropriately and always say "please" and "thank you".

...and then I had kids. And everything changed.

Come on, didn't anyone else do this too?

I still don't necessarily condone any of this behavior, but let's be real. Kids are kids and, frequently, they will act like kids. Zac and I do our best to be consistent with our boundaries, clear with our expectations, and swift with our punishments when necessary. But learning to obey, respect, communicate, and act appropriately is a process. And it takes lots of correction, praise, and effort.

And honestly, we are still learning to pick our battles too. If Joel wants to wear a batman costume to the grocery store, what's the big deal? Will the world come to an end if the spaghetti sauce doesn't get washed off of Jesse's face for a couple of hours, and heaven forbid, some actually sees him that way? Doubtful.

We pray daily for God's wisdom--to know when to show mercy and tenderness, and to know when to be firm and unyielding. Oh, it's so hard to know which one some times!

Shame on me for being judgmental before I even had a clue. No parent is perfect, some are struggling more than others, but most of us desperately love our children and are trying to raise them the best we can. May God show US mercy and grace in the process.

And for the record...I'm going to go put the kids to bed now, 20 minutes later than I intended to, and I'll be sure to get that sauce off of their faces! :)