Nesting?!

I just noticed that little ticker to the right is about to drop below 100 days....yikes! I can tell that I'm getting close (not just by the growing belly :) but by the amount that I have begun "nesting". Apparently this is a very powerful thing for me when pregnant because I have done it with all 3 boys.

What are your symptoms you ask? Well, it's been different with each kid. With Joel, I became obsessive cleaning woman. I cleaned every inch baseboard in our house with a toothbrush and soapy water. I completely soaped, rinsed, and sanitized the inside of our refrigerator and freezer, I vaccumed out all of our kitchen cabinets (took everything out first), I cleaned all of our blinds, etc. You get the idea.

I also decided it was a great time to redecorate our bedroom (our just decorate, since it was the only room that hadn't really been done after we moved). It turned out really well--I was so pleased. Except for the time that Zac found me sobbing in a really dirty, giant t-shirt on the floor of our bedroom at 10:30 at night (yes, he'd just gotten home from work/class/library--I couldn't keep track then) trying to mop up the 1/2 gallon of dark mocha paint that I had just spilled all over our white carpet.

Lesson #1 (for me) Never carry or hold things that could be extremely messy if dropped when pregnant. Lesson #2 I drop EVERYTHING and fall down a lot when I am pregnant. This has been consistent each time. I actually fell down the stairs while holding Joel at 8 months pregnant with Jesse. Somehow I managed to keep him upright and only I had a few bruises to show for it

Back to nesting.

With Jesse, we had just moved again (so much for the redecorated bedroom) so my obsession was organizing. I unpacked like a maniac and made sure that everything had it's perfect place. I labeled our shelves and bought storage bins. I was constantly on the hunt for the perfect containers to hold everything that I needed. It was as if somehow I knew that having 2 kids under 2 would throw my life into a disorganized state so I was waging a preemptive strike. It didn't work.

Actually, after Jesse was born, I became more disorganized than I have ever been. I've actually been working on that a lot this past year (with Zac's help) and I'm getting better. Just in time for baby #3. And by the way, if someone could find my cell phone for me, that would be great!!

With this baby, my nesting is sort of a combo of the other two pregnancies. I'm still cleaning but my time for that is more limited and since our house is quite new, there hasn't been enough time for lots of dust to accumulate on the baseboards. I have been touch-up painting the countless little spots around the house that are the result of thrown toys, crayons, moving dings, etc. My newest idea is to try and eat ALL of the food that we have in the house. Yep, even the cans of strangeness in the back of the cupboard. I'm looking at it as a challenge to plan meals for the next week that exist with mostly only what we already have--I did have to buy a few supplementary items at the store today just to fill in (without Jesse, see previous post--it was so peaceful). Some of my more challenging "ingredients" are 8 packets of plain instant oatmeal (nobody likes it), a can of evaporated milk, cranberry sauce, whole wheat flour (I buy it trying to be healthy but let's be honest...it totally ruins a cookie), and dried pearl barley. I can kill two birds with one stone by being not wasteful AND cleaning out our pantry and refrigerator.

My other obsession has been with crib bedding/nursery decorations. With each baby, I feel it's important to give them a fresh start with a new nursery. My memories are very visual and I love to picture me with each of them in their own, unique room. I don't spend lots of money. I just try to make it different and special for each one. Plus, it makes having lots of boys in a row still interesting. Anyway--for weeks I was poring over websites looking at crib bedding. I finally found it and it should be delivered tomorrow! Next I will pore over paint colors and valances for the room. Then a matching pillow for the rocking chair and changing pad cover. Really, I could just go on and on, but I won't. I'll show restraint. All of this means moving Jesse out of his room and into the guest room so I'll have to get that room ready too.

After lots of thought, I don't think he and Joel are quite ready to share a room yet--who needs 3 kids not sleeping when the baby comes?!? We'll attempt it next spring maybe. I figured, hey, we have enough bedrooms, why not make use of them?

All of this nesting, when analyzed, makes me realize that it's a place to focus my nervous energy. Some of it is fine and normal. But a lot of it is dealing with anxiety in a way that doesn't truly reach the heart. With this baby in particular, I fear that the boys will feel neglected, I fear the baby may some day be diagnosed with autism, I fear that I won't be able to handle 3 boys 3 and under when Zac is gone so often, I fear the sleep deprivation, etc. Instead of spending so much time "preparing" for the baby, it is my new goal to spend more time preparing my heart. To be in prayer and Scripture more as I daily trust in God and lay these things before his throne. He loves us. He has blessed us immensely--even through the trials--and I want to cling to him, not the things the world says I need to do.

Our little but getting bigger boy

has proven to be quite a challenge since we got back. Uh, where's the old Jesse? We want him back! At first I thought it was just the stress of having us gone for a week and getting readjusted, but now I think it's just a new phase of development. Mr. Independent/Defiant/Tantrum/ is now his new name. He also wants to be held the entire time we are at any store--this is difficult when I am six months pregnant and trying to push a cart! Oh my.

During an especially large tantrum in the produce aisle yesterday, I clerk who was handing out samples said, "Don't worry, you aren't the only one, I just got to leave mine and her tantrums at home this morning." That made me smile.

I'm back

Well...it's been a little blog vacation for me. This is due in part to a real vacation that we took. Zac and I just got back from Tennessee and Alabama where we combined some business for him with a little bit of relaxation and visiting of family.

We had a great time and really enjoyed meeting lots of new people, having great discussions, eating yummy food (lots of it), and getting a break from the regular routine of life. The boys stayed here with my parents and they did great! It was the longest we have ever left them (and probably will be for awhile now with the new baby coming) but we knew they were in capable hands. My mom had them going non-stop so I don't really think they had time to miss us.

We are getting back to our regular stuff now and I can't believe that it's almost August! I had my six month doctor's appt today, along with a repeat ultrasound. Our little dude was so busy moving around last time that the technician wasn't able to see everything that she needed to. All is well and he cooperated much better today! I even took the boys with me and they were very well-behaved. Joel had a slight mishap and fell of a stool--poor guy, I couldn't be much comfort to him lying on a table with ultrasound goo all over me--but later he got to hold the sonar thing on my belly so he felt like he was taking a picture of the baby all by himself.

We capped the day off with some swimming at the pool. Joel is turning into a little fish and it's fun to see him get more comfortable in the water. Jesse prefers to hang out next to the pool and his idea of swimming is me carrying him around in shallow water--he's funny. I am really trying to enjoy my time with just these two little boys before things change again. We are at a good place right now in terms of being able to be really flexible and spontaneous and do lots of different things so we are trying to take advantage of it!

I didn't really take any pics on our trip--I'll have to get some other newer ones up soon.

Birthdays

Joel just loves them. It doesn't really even matter who is celebrating their birthday--Joel is fully excited. He knows many people's ages (me, Zac, Jesse, Aunt Kelley, Uncle Phil, Nana, Papa, Miss Linda, Natalie, Uncle Rick, Aunt Cordy, Nikayla, etc...) and he tells them whenever he sees them how old they are. (Don't ever tell Joel your age unless you want it broadcasted everywhere, by the way).

We went to my parent's for my brother's birthday party Friday night and we had a great time. On the way home Joel said, "It's not Uncle Phil's birthday anymore!". "I know," I said, Jesse's birthday is coming up next." "Jesse! It's your birthday--Happy Birthday!" Joel shouted to him in the car. Not yet, buddy, but soon.

In light of Jesse turning two in 6 weeks--as I look at pictures of him I realize he looks like such a big boy now...did he grow up overnight? He makes jokes, says whatever he wants, and is such a little crack-up--we love him!

same thing

Not feeling much like blogging these days...it's probably because most of our days look the same.

Wake up, eat breakfast (usually frosted mini wheats, per the boys' request), go ________ (fill in the blank: swimming, to the park, to Gymboree, to a playdate, run errands), come home and eat lunch, take naps, play/make the house really messy, eat dinner, go _________ (for a walk, to the park, to Gymboree, to swimming lessons, to the store), bedtime.

Zac and I are getting ready to go to Nashville next week and he is taking his ordination exams this week. It's a huge deal--he's been studying forever and then gets to take this week off for "study leave" as he prepares for and takes the exams, so hopefully he will do well.

I have been especially focused on getting things ready for the baby. I realize that I still have plenty of time but I don't want to feel rushed in the end and as I am searching for things we need, I like to have plenty of time to find the "perfect deal". I buy a lot of baby stuff used, because it seems crazy to buy new when it's only used such a short time. Now I am wishing that I had just gotten everything brand new when Joel was born because most of our handed down/used items have seen their final days and I'm collecting newer things again. Plus, time goes by quickly and you never know what circumstances we could find ourselves in, so the sooner I can get everything prepared, the better.

Happy Fourth!

We had a wonderful day yesterday! We went down to Colorado Springs and had a barbeque/picnic at my brother's house and a surprise shower for my sister-in-law's sister-in-law (a little confusing, sorry). They already have two boys who are 5 and 8 and hand us down practically all of their clothes so this family has been quite a blessing to us. Now they are having a little girl--she and I are due two weeks apart!

Then last night the boys had what I consider to be a major right of passage. Maybe I am a tad bit more regimented or scheduled than I thought I would be as a mom, but what I've found is that you can be flexible and have all of the fun you want except for one thing--don't mess with the sleep. I almost always make sure I am home at a reasonable time for naps and bed because I think it's so important. Plus, who wants to spend the entire next day with crabby kids because they missed sleep the day before. BUT, I put all of that behind me and we all went to see fireworks last night! My parents belong to a country club that does their own show and it's incredible. You park 30 yards from where you sit, and you are in and out within 45 minutes. No traffic, no weirdness, just fun. I thought Joel would like it because it's so loud but I wasn't sure about Jesse. They both, however, really enjoyed it and we had a great time as a family. Joel's asking to see more...how do you explain the concept of "once a year" to a 3 year old? And--this is the biggest shocker--they went to bed at 10 (only 2-2.5 hours late :) but didn't wake up until 8:15 (Jesse) and 9:00 (Joel). I am writing this down for the record books because that has never happened!! We even went swimming today and they were in great moods! Plus, it's amazing how rested I feel sleeping for 10 hours straight :)!!

Zac is climbing some more giant mountains with his friend today. They try to get several in every summer and it always makes me a bit nervous. I think they are very careful but you just never know...he told me this climb has a somewhat "difficult" portion--as in, you can fall off a cliff. Oh, great. They both have pregnant wives to come home to so we are praying for extra protection! Why this is fun for them I cannot comprehend. They come home exhausted and sore but are already planning their next climb. I guess I'll never understand. My idea of fun is being tired after shopping at the mall all afternoon :).

Funny things.

Joel calls graham crackers "grandma crackers".

He likes to watch the garage door close from the front porch so every time we drive into the garage, he reminds me not to close the door until he is out of the way otherwise it might give him a big bonk on the head (and no, this hasn't happened in the past...it's just an irrational fear).

He started swimming lessons a few weeks ago and still is quite unsure about the whole thing. Last night while the teacher was trying to get him to float on his back, he started crying hysterically. She held him for a minute and she said he looked at her and said, "I just don't know what my problem is!"

We live in a newer development where some houses are still under construction. After dinner the other night, Zac and Joel went on a walk and they toured a few of the houses that are still being built. Apparently Joel had a great time because he has not stopped asking to go "walk through the houses where there are no people."

He says a million funny things each day--I've got to start writing more of them down....

On a side note, Jesse's fever finally went away Sunday morning after almost 6 days...that was a scary time for us all but he seems fine now. Except that he's acting like the world revolves around him still (after six days, he got pretty used to it). He was crying in his bed last night at 9:30 (went to bed at 8:00 and had been pretty quiet) so Zac went to check on him. He had pooped so after changing his diaper, he told Zac that he wanted to go downstairs, have some juice, and watch a movie...uh, not anymore, buddy, only when your fever is 104.8 and we are too scared to put you back to bed.