One Day at a Time

The babies.

2010-11-11T08:36:00.001-08:00

Now that Brody is two, I guess I have to change what I have coined Brody and Bronwyn for the past almost 9 months. Oh, these little ones are just so sweet together and I cannot get enough of them. Even at just a little over a year older than Bron, Brody is very nuturing and kind to her. He gives her a pacifier, brings her toys, and tries to feed her bottles. And she adores him. So much. Enjoy these glimpses of their special little relationship.

He's Two!!

2010-11-11T08:30:00.000-08:00

Our sweet, youngest son is now two! Oh, Brody.

You are SO sweet, and happy, and easy-going, and loving, and active, and adventurous, and athletic, and goofy.

And...a picky eater, frequent pooper (sorry, tmi), and escape artist.

Poor guy was a little under the weather for his party...didn't make for great pictures :)

But the good so far outweighs the bad and we LOVE YOU so very much!!!

We love our Daddy!!

2010-11-05T12:31:00.001-07:00

Here's a shout out to our great Daddy!

Yes, we are still alive and someone is having a birthday party tomorrow so there will be another update soon!

And, a few good ones!

2010-09-06T13:10:00.000-07:00

Labor Day photo shoot.

2010-09-06T13:01:00.000-07:00

So, we spur of the moment attempted to get some pictures of the kids this morning (and me in a few since that RARELY happens). The result was comical...as seen by some of the following "outtakes"!

Babies, look at the camera!

Brody, come back!

Some sort of crisis

Brody, come back!!

Why am I the ONLY one looking?!

Ugh.

2010-09-01T18:34:00.000-07:00

Why did I even think that Zac and I would produce mellow, easy children? I wouldn't say that either of us is the most mellow, easy person ourselves...although I tend to be a bit more laid-back than Zac (in some respects :).

Anyhow, I'm feeling a bit down (and overwhelmed) as our youngest little dude was sort of "officially" found to have some pretty hefty sensory issues (vestibular undersensitivity and oral processing stuff--similar to some of Joel's) except that Brody has the gross motor skills to fulfill some of his sensory needs, whereas Joel didn't. This kid can climb!

Translated: I cannot leave the child alone for 1 second or something dangerous and/or messy occurs.

I know that a large part of it is just having a VERY busy and curious, one, almost two year old. However, the child CANNOT sit still to save his life. This includes reading time and speech therapy time, thus rendering those activities essentially pointless right now. But at least now I have a better picture of what I am and will be dealing with and will start to approach things a bit differently.

He had his little preschool orientation (Mom's day out, really) and let's just say circle time was NOT circle time. It was me chasing down Brody and hauling his crying self back to circle. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Ugh.

I think I need to grow eyes in the back of my head. Or take a Xanax. Or both.

This job of mine just never seems to get any easier :). But I love it. And I love these crazy kids of mine. And hopefully, someday they will harness all of this energy of their and become the President of the United States. Or the parent to 4 bundles of energy of their own. Or something like that :).

First day of school pictures.

2010-08-27T08:02:00.000-07:00

Here are some official 1st day of kindergarten pictures!!

Ha! I caught him!

2010-08-27T08:00:00.001-07:00

For some time now, I've had a "phantom" (i.e. no one will confess) drawer on the walls in my house. It's in pencil and usually not very noticeable. But, I caught this picture today and now I know who the culprit is! (if you can't read it, it says Jesse :)

Feeding time!

2010-08-27T07:50:00.001-07:00

Bronwyn's first rice cereal (and solid feeding!) She really enjoyed it more than it looks...I took a quick break in feeding to grab the camera and that did not please her.

See look, now she's happy!

World's cutest "helper"!

A few more birthday pics.

2010-08-27T07:39:00.001-07:00

Someone's turning 4!

2010-08-22T14:30:00.000-07:00

We had a very special Toy Story birthday party for our favorite second son yesterday afternoon!! He has been so excited for the party and we have enjoyed his daily countdown. He truly seemed to appreciate everything and it was such a joy to be able to do this for him. Jesse has a sweet, quiet spirit that we want to make sure never gets lost in the shuffle of our crazy home and we pray that he felt very loved yesterday!!

Happy Birthday, dear Jesse!

Some info about our little guy, just for memory's sake.

He's 40 inches and 34 pounds (a slender fellow, I'm working on beefing him up a bit :)
He loves Legos and is very good at building things unassisted.
He reads at a second grade level...weird, because we never really taught him, but now he's teaching Joel (his older brother).
He loves to have his back rubbed.
When he's tired, he says he's cold. Even if he won't admit to being tired.
He doesn't like cereal (he cannot be my child).
He loves popcorn (also not a trait I share, but definitely like his daddy, here).
He is eternally forgiving.
He has a streak of fire, when necessary.

We love our little guy!

Sheesh.

2010-08-18T13:34:00.000-07:00

I guess it's been awhile. It's funny how things like folding laundry, running errands, cleaning house, changing diapers (lots of diapers) can eat up a whole day! Needless to say, I haven't kept up on the blog very well. In fact, I have no idea how long my old template had even been erased, making the blog look like a construction site!

But, I'm back. For the moment anyway. Until something more pressing calls. Which is very likely.

I'm getting a rare moment of peace around here right now. Joel and Jesse are out on a birthday excursion with friends...Jesse turns 4 next week!!! And the babies are both sleeping. At the same time. I feel like that alone deserves a hallelujah!

Joel started kindergarten last week and is liking it! He doesn't like the "homework" he has to do each day though. He's been moved up to a 1st grade class for reading because he tested as exiting 1st grade level for reading skill, but they didn't want to move him up too far. He's still bored and says he doesn't like the 1st grade class, but I think it's just because he is probably quite convinced that he's missing out on something in the kindergarten room. You know, like as soon as he leaves the room, they have a cupcake party or something. That's my boy. Ever the social butterfly! Seriously, I had not a moment of sadness when he left for the first day. He is so ready to get out and conquer that playground!

As I said, Jesse is turning 4 soon! How did that happen? Even though he's my 2nd of four kids, I still feel like he's my "baby" because he was my baby the longest. The biggest gap I had between kids was 26 months after I had Jesse and before Brody was born. The other gaps were 20 and 15 months (Joel and Jesse, and Brody and Bronwyn) so he really was my baby the longest! He has been so fun to have here in the mornings without Joel. Man, I love those boys but they have been perfecting the art of antagonizing each other all summer. And I do mean ALL summer. Everybody is thriving with just a little time apart. :)

Brody is cutting his final teeth. Need I say more? That, coupled with some ear infections for he and Brownyn the past few weeks has been not fun. I actually only got 2 hours of sleep the night before last. You'd think I had a newborn or something??!! Anyhow, he's much happier now, but still in pain I think. He's been receiving speech therapy for a few months now and the words are starting to fly! He mostly mimics what we say but we are so pleased to here his little voice. He is Mr. Busy and if I take my eyes off of him for too long, I'm sure I'll find him scaling the side of the house. And he loves to take cereal boxes out of the pantry and carry them all over the house...on the go munching. I actually found a Frosted Mini Wheat in my bed yesterday. Ha! I love that little guy so much I could just kiss him to death!

And sweet baby girl. She's also been a bit "fussy" for the past few months. She was SUCH and easy newborn and little baby that I think I got spoiled. She even started sleeping through the night at 11 weeks!!! That is not a Hicks' trait by any means, but we'll take it! Unfortunately, she now has a pacifier addiction while sleeping and Mommy must feed that addiction throughout the night. I know, bad Mommy. I tried to break her of it last week and let's just say it did NOT go well. We'll try again in a month or so when I've recover. (See the part previously where I mentioned the ear infections and 2 hours of sleep). Playing dress-up with her is still one of the highlights of my day and I just went shopping for some fall clothes for her. I'm pretty sure I just stared at them for an hour after I got home. Oh how I've longed to see pinks and purples in my laundry room! I still sometimes cannot believe I have a daughter and I praise God for her EVERY day!!

Just for fun pics!

2010-05-15T17:37:00.000-07:00

My posse.

2010-05-15T07:45:00.000-07:00

Zac is working on this beautiful Saturday morning so we took some pictures to update the status of all my little people. Sort of like their own mini facebook entry :)

Joel and his plants. Oh my, he's becoming quite the horticulturist. Every day he checks on his grass and sunflowers and makes sure they are adequately watered. It's a big moment for him because apparently we are supposed to put the sunflower sprouts into a bigger pot so they can keep growing and blossom. He looked horrified when I told him I thought big sunflowers were a little scary. I guess I'll put my fears aside for his dreams. And, I must say that he took it very well when Brody yanked one of the sprouts out of the pot and left it for dead in a pile of soil on the kitchen floor. Oops, I guess 3 out of 4 ain't bad.

The other day he was singing Mary Had a Little Lamb. I was semi-listening but tuned in enough to hear him sing, "every where that Mary went the lamb was too short (sure) to go"! ha ha. Needless to say, he's been quite focused on growing bigger lately and so that was just what he heard when he listened to the song I guess.

He asked me what we were doing today and I told him he was going to a birthday party. He told me he didn't see it written down so we should write it down on the calculator. Um, calendar.

Dear Jesse. One minute sweet, the next very spicy. He's quite into the game Hi-Ho-Cheerio right now and I think we've logged about 40 playings in the last few days. He is camera shy (hence the hiding), but I did manage to get him to smile once--I bribed him. Good Mommy. He LOVES words and reading. Many times I find he and Joel on the couch with big, long books, teaching Joel how to read. "That word is actually, Joel." "No, that says through."

We were spelling words on the dining room table and he wanted to do words of things in our house. Like pot, bed, car, right? Nope, dump truck, mirror, and bedroom where his starting points. Bless his 3 year old savant-like little heart. He did ask for a little assistance spelling toilet.

Brody, the bruiser. He is ALL boy. Constantly into things and climbing on things. The other day I turned around and he was standing on the kitchen table. A few days before that I was sitting on the couch feeding Bronwyn and he just disappeared. I found him balancing on the windowsill behind the couch, in between the blinds and the window, staring out the window. Have NO idea how he got up there.

But, he is completely full of sweetness. Very few tantrums, lots of laughter and smiles for this recently turned 18 month old. If that kid was a piece of candy, I would just eat him up. I really have no words to describe his precious disposition and laid back attitude. What a special blessing he is right now!

And the princess. Probably my most smiley baby. She's already babbling and cooing up a storm...and growing like a weed. 12 weeks old yesterday! She needs to be in her crib if you want her to take a good nap--that may not bode well for her being the fourth child in a busy family, but we are trying our best :).

I still have moments every few days where it truly hits me that I have a girl! This is the baby girl I've dreamed of. She's here. Her name is Bronwyn. I'm living this! In a way, I feel a little disconnected (although you would never know it with all of the smiles and kisses that girl gets from me). It's just that it seems so surreal after 3 boys and really believing that I may never get a girl. I'm not just playing dress-up with a doll and every day I remind myself to soak this in.

I'm trying my best not to get too overwhelmed at home. These children are a blessing and if I can keep my mind on that instead of the mundane, yet pressing details of the day, then I am in the best place I can be. Savor these moments, because too soon, they will be gone!

Just because.

2010-04-22T17:48:00.000-07:00

And what is the reason for all of these recent posts, you may ask?

Well, I may never post again. If these 4 kids don't do me in, then my new job might.

Yep, I did say my new job.

Because just in case things were crazy enough around here, I've decided to start working again.

Actually, my new job is a HUGE blessing to us--I get to do something I am really passionate about (a home therapist for children with autism), work very flexible and very minimal part-time hours, and get paid well to do it!

I started yesterday and, while it may take a little adjusting for our family, we are all very excited about it :).

One of my favorite things...

2010-04-22T17:46:00.000-07:00

is to take all four kids to the doctor by myself. Uh, or not.

Actually, I would call our trip today very successful (if you don't count the hour I had to wait at the pharmacy) and it apparently was needed because Joel was right when he told me he had a "science infection" (sinus). Hehe.

Little daddy.

2010-04-22T14:32:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago during "rest" time (that is a very loose term around here these days :) I asked Joel and Jesse to be nice and quiet in their room because I was going to try and rest too. Joel asked why and i said it was because I was tired. "Why?", he asked again. "Well, because I have to get up with Bronwyn several times at night to feed her when she's crying. He looked shocked that all of this was going on in the household without his knowledge.

Since then, he asks me every morning how Bronwyn slept, how many times she cried, and if she had a good night. So cute.

Then last night when I went in to check on her around 9:30, I tripped over something on the floor. I turned on the light to see Jesse curled up on the floor next to Bronwyn's crib, and Joel all cozy in her rocking chair--both sound asleep. Joel woke up as I moved him to his bed and I asked what they were doing and he told me that they were going to sleep in her room so that they could take care of her overnight so that I wouldn't have to. So sweet. I almost cried.

Then I told him that he could just enjoy being her big brother and I would worry about taking care of her because I love taking care of my kids!

Easter!

2010-04-22T14:22:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure why the boys were standing so far away from me in the pictures with just me and them...I tried to get them to come closer, but as you can tell by the "action shots" of Jesse and Brody during the actual Easter egg hunt, they were very serious about their hunting and couldn't pull away for just one second to take a picture. This was even after I assured them multiple times that ALL of the eggs had been found. :)

Easter was a really wonderful day! We had an amazing worship service at church and then over to some dear friends parent's house for lunch and it was so good! The bigger boys (we call them the "J's") played with two little girls there and were most content--I even heard Joel and Jesse say to the hostess, "This food sure is delicious" and "I really like this lunch!". And the little ones (we call them the "B's") both slept almost the entire time. We actually sat at the dining room table for 2+ hours and had real grown-up conversation without breaking up one fight or changing one diaper!

5 years ago.

2010-04-05T19:25:00.000-07:00

5 years ago this week...

We were adjusting to life with a 3 month old baby who had colic, reflux, and reactive airway disease.

Zac was desperately trying to finish his M.Div. degree at Denver Seminary.

I was a new mom desperately trying to get three consecutive hours of sleep and make it through the day without crying.

We were living in a little condo in north Denver.

I was diagnosed with cancer.

Life become so complicated in a matter of months, and we felt like we were bobbing below the surface of the water, just trying to get enough quick breaths of air to stay alive.

Here's our little family then:

This week:

Our 3 month old then is now 5 years and 3 months old, and getting ready to start kindergarten. He'll be in a regular classroom and is fighting the disease of autism. Tonight he wrote a story for me about how much he loves me!

Zac is now an ordained pastor and released his first album this past fall. He's amazing and it's so neat to see the seeds that God was planting in college and graduate school coming to fruition.

I am now a "seasoned" mom with four little people to care for, and still desperately trying to get 3 consecutive hours of sleep (ha!). Crying is now quite the norm in our household, although I'm happy to say that 98% of it isn't coming from me :).

We are living in a house that is just perfect for us in south Denver.

I am cancer-free and had one very encouraging doctor visit today. Apparently with my type of cancer, the 6 year mark is when my risk for the cancer spreading goes WAY down, but 5 sure is a good sign and we are praising God!! I've adjusted quite easily to the loss of vision and it doesn't slow me down one bit.

So thankful yesterday, singing praises to God in church on Easter, and standing amazed at the power of the cross. About what it means for us eternally, but also what it means for us in this life. There will most definitely be suffering, but we are never left in that place. Christ has secured for us an eternal victory and with that hope, we can worship him here in the valleys and on the mountaintops--whatever the years may bring.

Here's our expanded family 3 weeks ago when Zac baptized Bronwyn:

It's a little hard to get us all in a picture these days. I'll try and get some up from Easter soon. :)

Look, I'm alive!

2010-03-16T13:16:00.000-07:00

See...here I am with my increased brood! I felt like I needed a picture with them all since 2 weeks after Bronwyn was born, I still had not one. I'd like to say it's just because I've been to busy to stop and get in front of the camera.

The truth is I don't like to look at picutres of myself weighing 30 pounds more than I used to. Oh well. This too shall pass (right??!!). I'd like to say that my kids don't notice and they love me anyway, but well, you read this. So I guess they do notice, but I also know they still love me.

Anyway, we are surviving. Although, we do still have help. I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little afraid to do this alone. But my new mantra is..."one ________ (fill in the blank) at a time"!

I wouldn't recommend....

2010-03-08T09:33:00.000-08:00

passing the stomach flu around the house when you have a newborn. But that is what we have done here! I never want to get up multiple times in the night, feeling like I'm either going to faint or throw up, to nurse a baby again. Oh, how I tried not to breathe on her!!

Actually, Brody and Bronwyn are the only two in our house that didn't get it...praise God! My mom even got it right before she left--I think sharing the flu with her was a nice way of saying, "thank you for coming to help out!" don't you?! Hopefully, she'll come back again some time :).

But, knock on wood, we are all recoverd and hopefully this one will just pass on by the babies in our house.

Other than that, we are all doing well! Sleep deprivation hasn't totally hit yet, although it probably will in a few weeks. We've been blessed with wonderful food, visits, and gifts from friends and people at our church and we feel very loved and cared for.

The boys...oops...(I've got to get out of that habit now). The kids and I ventured out by ourselves yesterday to go to church. I figured I might as well try out the "single mom on Sunday" thing with 4 kids in tow now so I can just stare my fear in the face. It went fine and we all survived. At one point while we were trying to leave, Brody (or Houdini as we like to call him) slipped out of the double stroller and escaped out the door of church, right in front of my very eyes. I told Joel to run after him and grab his hand while I stopped the door from slamming the stroller. Zac came by at that moment and I yelled, "He got out!". It sort of seemed like I was talking about a dog who ran out of the house and I had to laugh. And Brody was certainly laughing as he made a beeline for the parking lot. He wasn't laughing when I strapped him (more tightly) back into the stroller. He probably feels like he's been demoted since Bronwyn's been born because now I make him stay in a stroller with her when we are out and about. I used to let him walk and would just chase him all over the place. I don't have that freedom anymore and neither does he. Oh well. I guess life's tough when you are 15 months old and a big brother!

Church was even followed up by all 6 of us taking a nap at the same time. I'd call that a success. The going away party we went to later that night...not so much. But that's another story :).

It's all about perspective...

2010-03-02T15:11:00.000-08:00

Jesse (3 yrs old) asked my mom yesterday when I was going to get back to my "regular" size. Good question, I thought to myself, because I am more than ready after back to back pregnancies. But then I wondered if maybe he thinks me being really pregnant is my regular size since that's how I've been for almost half of his life...ha ha!

Daddy's girl.

2010-02-27T20:21:00.001-08:00

Oooh...we love this precious little thing so much!

Sibling love.

2010-02-27T20:17:00.001-08:00

We're back...

2010-02-27T20:01:00.000-08:00

Wow! It's been a long time and we have some exciting news to announce!

The Hicks family is so pleased to announce the birth of Bronwyn Anna Hicks, born February 19th at 11:51 p.m. She was 7 lbs. 5 oz., and 20.5 inches!

Everything went well with the delivery and we were so glad for her two week early arrival. The bigger boys are loving their little sister and Brody is just choosing not to acknowledge her :). Bless his little 15 month old heart because he has no idea what's going on!

Yikes.

2009-12-30T06:30:00.000-08:00

I've always been a bit accident prone while pregnant. I like to blame it on the stretching ligaments, or something like that.

I have recently taken it to a new level with this pregnancy though. On Christmas day I fell down the hardwood stairs at my parent's house and practically broke my elbow. Thankfully my bottom took most of the impact and, well, let's just say it has a little extra padding right now so no problem there. I do have a huge bruise on my arm though, and it still aches.

Then just in case I was looking for a bit more drama, I stabbed myself in the hand with a new butcher knife while making dinner last night. We're talking squirting blood and everything. I'm still finding splatters the next day. So gross. And off to urgent care we went. After some debate as to whether or not a pregnant woman can have the numbing medicine used for stitches and if I needed a tetanus shot, they finally just decided to glue the wound shut. The doctor encouraged me that it was actually better to have a puncture wound (squirting blood and all) than a laceration because the tissue underneath closes in on itself and heals better. Great. I'll keep that in mind next time.

And, I kid you not, while I was typing this, the newly one year-old Brody just picked up a glass, walked off of the carpet onto the hardwood floor, and threw it down. Shattered. What is going on here? Maybe he was jealous and wanted some attention of his own :).

Why??!

2009-12-21T14:01:00.000-08:00

Dear Pink,

Why did I just spend a whole day painting the nursery two different colors of pink and completely hate it? Pink, you have let me down after all this time of hoping for your arrival. You fooled me on the paint swatches and made my back hurt for no reason. Now I am walking like an 80 year old. But don't you worry, I WILL be back and I will tame your outrageously bright ways so that I no longer need sunglasses when I look at you.

Sincerely,
A design conscious soon to be Mommy to a little girl (who better REALLY like pink)

I'm not kidding in the above letter. I finally got the crib bedding after waiting 6 weeks (special order or something), dutifully looked at swatch after swatch of paint--in the daylight and evening--all to no avail.

Gotta fix it.

Will post pictures some day if I'm satisfied :).

Happy Birthday, Joel!

2009-12-21T13:31:00.000-08:00

Wow! Our "little boy" is 5 today! I'm not going to say these five years have flown by so quickly, because to be honest, they haven't. They actually have been the five hardest years of my life. Little did we know that five years ago, we would face cancer, moving 3 times, 2 job changes, Autism, and the addition of 3 more children. That is a lot to take on, and while I wouldn't have necessarily chosen our circumstances, we have seen God's grace, mercy, and blessing so clearly through it all--especially through Joel.

Three years ago his diagnosis of Autism was devastating. Today he is a thriving 5 year old who truly loves life! Yes, his challenges result in extra diligence, patience, effort, research, prayers, tears, and attention, but we have seen a miracle in his life and he always challenges us better parents. Nothing like paving the way for your siblings, buddy!

So, for the one who has been counting down the days until his birthday since the day after it occurred last year, Joel has been eagerly awaiting this moment. We actually celebrated on Friday and Saturday evenings so he got two "parties"! Somehow Brody injured his ankle Friday afternoon and we were sent to the hospital for x-rays to see if it was broken--thankfully it wasn't, but he did have to wear a sad looking splint all night. Side note, when I was on the phone with the on-call doctor that night, she asked me what happened to him. I honestly had to say that I wasn't sure--we were in the same room with him when it occurred, but we didn't actually see it. Meanwhile, in the background, Zac is wrestling with Joel and Jesse and during a pause in my conversation, Joel shouts out "Daddy, give me another body slam!!" I'm sure at that moment the doctor had doubts about our parenting skills :).

This cut into our plans for Joel that evening so we just had a nice family dinner with cake and presents. He was very gracious about the change in plans when we explained we'd do the second half (going to a nearby museum that has a Christmas celebration and trail of lights) the next night. Because after all, the only thing better than one birthday celebration is two!

So now he's saying cute things to me like, "Mommy, don't you like having a 5 year old boy now?" He also enjoys reminding me of the upcoming birth of his sister by saying, "Mommy, soon you are going to have two babies in the house. Aren't you excited??!!" To which I reply, "Yes, I'm very excited but since you are 5 now, I'll definitely need your help". Little does he know that responsibility also comes with age :).

Many blessings to you on this day, our sweet son, we can't imagine life without you!

Life...

2009-11-22T06:02:00.000-08:00

...is just flying by!! We've been so busy, with good things, but it is just making the clock tick extra quickly. I cannot believe Thanksgiving is in 5 days, and then Christmas is just right around the corner. Where did fall go?

I was telling Zac the other day that with each baby, toward the middle to end of my last trimester of pregnancy, I get into "focus" mode and really buckle down, a little withdrawn, and mostly just focused on preparing for the task ahead. I haven't fully reached that point yet (I'm only 26 weeks), but I do feel this urge to really focus on what needs to get done around here, and I'm not so interested in the periphery. Unfortunately, blogging seems to fall into the latter category, hence my absence here.

I do want to document this crazy stage of life, but I just feel so consumed with the daily details of life, that there is little to no creativity left in me to blog. And I have to try to make it at least a tad fun to read, or I'll probably never want to go back and do so (nor would you!). A real look into my day goes like this:

6:30 awakened by crying child (usually Brody)
7:00 breakfast--lots of arguing by big boys about who gets to pick their cereal first
7:30 clean kitchen, empty dishwasher
8:00 get ready for preschool/whatever we need to do that morning
9:00 kid(s) off to prechool, Brody naps, I run around cleaning/organizing, etc.
11:30 lunch
1:00 preschool pick-up then "rest" time (I must insert thankfulness that all boys still usually nap!!)
3:00 therapy/play/do house stuff
5:00 make dinner
6:30 clean up
7:00 Brody bed, play games with boys
7:45 Read stories
8:15 bed time
8:30 more cleaning, laundry, relaxing until my bedtime (which is getting earlier and earlier...)

But that would be boring if I typed that every day. I'll spare you that torture.

For now, I'll share my excitement about baby girl preparation. I've ordered crib bedding, a few super cute girly headbands and a hat, and the world's pinkest car seat anyone has ever seen...hey, if you're only going to do a girl once, go big!!

We're also getting ready to move the bigger boys into a room together so yesterday we bought them beds and fabric to make their comforters. They are SO excited and I hope that transitioning goes smoothly. No one needs to lose any extra sleep around here! :)

But anyhoo...the REAL reason I am posting today is to say that Zac's song won the first round of radio competition and so you can go and vote again! Go to the radio's website and follow the link to vote for "My Church Band Rocks".

kxwa.wayfm.com/

Thanks!!

Happy Birthday, Brody!

2009-11-14T13:54:00.000-08:00

One of Zac's songs from his new album has been chosen for a contest on a local Christian radio station here in Denver. They pick three songs and listeners vote for their favorite, which will then be played on air!

Fun, huh?!

So...if you have literally 2 seconds, just follow this link and vote (and I'm not biased, it's the best of the 3 songs :).

http://kxwa.wayfm.com/index.php/community/97-community/134-my-church-band-rocks-.html

And, on a totally different note, out sweet littlest boy is now one!!! Oh wow, I feel like he was just born, literally. Except for the fact that I am 6 months pregnant again, which sort of makes it feel like at least two years must have passed since I had him!

Word cannot express our deep love for this sweet baby and I cannot imagine our family without him. His behavior is becoming a bit more demanding and challenging, because after all, he is now officially a "toddler" right? But still, he has a very mellow, sweet personality and the stoic face that he consistently portrayed as an infant has given way to a giant smile every time we look at him.

I look forward to his continued growth and development as his personality continues to unveil itself. We praise God for you, our precious son!!

My little Builder Bobs

2009-10-30T15:33:00.000-07:00

When I was at a baby shower a little while back, the boys took on a construction project. Don't worry, they were fully "supervised" by Daddy. You just can't seem him from behind the camera. And no one was harmed in the making of this object which they call a "train station".

Pretty darn cute if I do say so myself. And that's why Zac and I balance each other out so well. The idea of putting my three small children near some serious tools and open paint cans is enough to put me into a cold sweat. But they sure loved it!
Nice job, everyone!

Brothers.

2009-10-30T15:24:00.000-07:00

I got these matching shirts for $2.50 a piece. Who can resist such a good deal? Now if it was only that easy to get a cute picture of the three of them. This was my 5th and best attempt. Ha!

I think the balloon man was a little bored when my parents took us out to dinner awhile back. Guess who reaped the benefits of his boredom?

Playing at the North Pole (an amusement park) with Daddy and Papa. Mommy and Nana took Brody shopping (he didn't know any better). It was a good day all around.

The boys found these scarves and hats when I was switching out our summer and winter stuff. They really wanted it to snow, but this was at the beginning of September. Well, they finally got their wish because in the last 2 days, we've had 2 feet of snow here. Can you say CABIN FEVER??!

Brody!

2009-10-30T15:17:00.000-07:00

And this sweet little babe is growing up! He is turning 1 next week and although it sounds completely trite, I cannot believe this past year has gone by so quickly. In the last picture you can see one of his two new teeth. He is very proud of those two teeth and manages to chew with them (one on top and one on bottom). Unfortunately, he has also learned how to grind the only two teeth he has...ah, it's music to my ears, or not.

I am trying to cherish my time with him so much lately. I know that in just a few more months I will be a little more, um, distracted and so I am just trying to soak all of him in. He is just the SWEETEST and I pray that he never feels left out in the shuffle of our crazy house.

And yes, his eyes are that big in real life. So cute!!

Guess what I found?!

2009-10-30T15:11:00.000-07:00

The camera cord! Now I can finally start downloading some pictures onto our computer that have just been sadly waiting on the camera. They are many and they are random...enjoy!

Beginning with Jesse's 3rd birthday party! Yes, this was back in August. Better late than never right? Jesse has such a sweet spirit (amidst the very fiery, irrational tantrums) and it's so fun to be able to celebrate him. He is such a precious part of our family and we can see how God has already been using his little life for big things.

Pink!

2009-10-15T06:36:00.000-07:00

We will soon be seeing a lot more of this around our house!!!

Our ultrasound was yesterday afternoon, and, seriously, I have to tell you that I was a bit nervous about the whole deal. On top of wanting to make sure baby is healthy and developing correctly, I obviously was anxious about gender.

Let me first say that I LOVE my boys. I honestly think that if I had to choose having all boys or all girls, I would probably pick boys (although I speak from NO experience on the girl end). They are wild and sweet and they love their mommy.

And because of the trajectory we have been following, I would not have been too surprised to find out we were welcoming boy #4. The odds of having 4 boys in a row are just crazy, and it would have been interesting to have it happen to our family, but I wasn't sure I could go there mentally. Kind of like how my mind always jumps to what our grocery bill will be when the boys are 18, 17, 15, and 14. Seriously?! I feel like we spend a lot on food now! And, oh, the rough-housing and potential for broken household items and broken bones just multiplies!! But, I honestly have to say I was prepared for whatever God gave us.

Then on the flip side, I always just imagined that I would have at least one girl. Someone to shop with. Someone to sit quietly and color or read stories with (I guess that's no guarantee with girls, but, you know?). Someone to dress in pink, pick out Christmas dresses for, and fix her hair--aside from just using water to slick down the sticking up hairs :).

So all these things were flashing through my mind and I realized I was sort of holding my breath as I laid down on the ultrasound table. I could tell the tech was looking right away for us, and while I wasn't sure exactly what I was looking to see, I knew I wasn't seeing what I had seen three times previously. She said, "I know what it is, do you?" To which I very quietly replied, "It's a girl???!".

YEP!! 100%. She said I could buy all of the pink I wanted to.

And, to be honest, my first emotion was excitement and my second was just pure relief. 5 years of wondering through pregnancies and deliveries if I will ever have a girl, the sadness that it may never happen (I'm pretty sure this was going to be the last Hicks' baby, regardless of gender), listening to the boys repeatedly ask for a sister, and gazing sadly at the 80% of the children's clothing store that is taken up by girls clothes, while I wander quickly through the minuscule boys section (actually--that may be a prudent choice on the store's part because little boys have NO attention span for shopping--it's get in and get out)--all of those feelings just disappeared because now I have an answer.

And, wow, it feels great!

Brrr...

2009-10-10T18:31:00.000-07:00

I stepped outside this morning into balmy 18 degrees go to a Women's fall brunch at church. Everything was frosty and pretty looking, but not too much like fall. Strange! It was a fun time with some other really neat women.

Zac held down the fort with the boys and another friend of theirs who is 9 but likes to come over and play. I had great intentions of posting a bunch of old pictures I have on my camera, since it's been quite awhile...but, alas, I cannot find the camera cord. Hmmm...

Some of the pictures where from last weekend when I was at a baby shower and the boys made a homemade "train station" for their trains. Zac found some scrap wood and they sawed and nailed all morning. They even custom painted it--and only one pair of pants got ruined in the process :). Actually, as I was just looking through the pictures, I realized that Jesse was wearing his nice (and only) swimming suit (that will one day be Brody's), and his all-time favorite Mickey Mouse shirt from Disneyland that my brother got him. Um, probably the LAST thing I would put on him while painting. But, I always say that if they are all happy and safe while I am gone, I won't sweat the small stuff. And not to worry, the super cute pictures also revealed that Zac made them wear protective eyewear while sawing. Oh, the boys.

And speaking of boys--we have our big ultrasound on Wednesday!!! Up until now, I've been fairly relaxed about finding out the gender of Hicks #4, but now, I must admit I'm starting to get a little nervous/excited. Either way, it's crazy to know that we will soon have a lot more information about our family's future dynamic. Will we have a enough men for a basketball team or will some pink actually enter this household?? Who knows?

Praise!

2009-10-05T14:23:00.000-07:00

We are praising the Lord today for a good check-up from my eye doctor. This is the first time in almost 2 years that he has been able to say that my eye is actually looking better and he is encouraged! The general health of my eye has been on a downward trajectory for a little while now. The laser treatment I had last summer was supposed to help with some of the bleeding, fluid leakage, and swelling. It's still an experimental thing, and the doctor was especially concerned because sometimes during pregnancy, the body can go kind of crazy, vascularly speaking, which would have been bad news for my eye. It seemed to do that a bit when I was pregnant with Brody, and since all of that was just a year ago, I was a bit concerned to be pregnant again.

BUT, the treatment and, more importantly, God's healing hand, seemed to have worked and all of the symptoms I mentioned above have lessened! Praise God! The tumor is looking great--still nice and small and dead--so we are continually thankful for that as well. As long as that stays the same, our new goal is for me to be able to keep my actual eye and for it to stay relatively "healthy". Although battered and mostly blind, I 'd still like to keep it around for as long as possible :)!

2009-09-28T08:20:00.000-07:00

Not much blogging going on around here lately...I'm trying to get us into our fall routine and it's taking a bit more than I imagined. I am on a new house cleaning schedule where I do two big things a day and by the end of the week, everything is clean (except the things I did on Monday are already looking dirty again--this is the downfall because not everything is sparkling clean at once). But, I just don't have a 3-4 hour block of time to do it all at once so this is the way it must be for now.

This also holds me more accountable to get things done, and, if I actually do find time to sit down during the day, I realize there is probably something on my list that still needs attention. I've also been trying to spend less time on the computer and more time just playing with the boys. And can I say that Joel has a small Candyland addiction right now? The boys are actually both really into playing any board game, but Candyland is the current favorite. I put a cap on it after 5 times in a row--then we must switch to something else for awhile. On Friday we played 12 games (a mixture of several different board games)...it was thrilling! haha.

It's a little tougher to play when Brody is awake because he's like a little wrecking ball who just comes crashing onto the board and eats all of the pieces. He is in this funny stage where he'll come barreling over to you (crawling) when you are on the floor and just start climbing all over you. He grabs hair, glasses, clothes, and smothers his face into yours. It's a very slobbery, rough way to get attention but he just loves it!! After several hours of this each day, I eventually have to move up onto a chair or the couch because I am tired of being a human jungle gym. Apparently my growing belly also makes a good step for him, but not so pleasant for me. He's starting to stand unassisted and I'm thinking his first step is right around the corner. This looks like it will come just after his first tooth which is breaking through as we speak!

My boys are late teethers (Brody will be 11 months old on Saturday) but I kind of like it that way. It doesn't hinder what they eat, and it seems like they are better able to handle the pain when they are older. Joel's pediatrician wanted him to see a pediatric dentist when he was a baby because at 12 months, he still didn't have any teeth. I declined because I was pretty sure the teeth were in there somewhere and would come out when they were ready. I didn't need to pay someone a lot of money to tell me that. :) And sure enough, they started coming in quickly after that, two at a time.

This reminds me of one of the benefits of having lots of kids...the more you have, the less you worry about the small things that you worried about with the first. Nothing seems quite as alarming, you know there is a huge variation in development, and that mystery rash will probably just go away on it's own in a few day.

But, while I am spending less time worrying about the little things, I AM spending a lot more time cleaning, organizing, grocery shopping (my boys can EAT!!), and doing laundry. I guess that's the trade-off! And speaking of that, I've got to go and organize my closet, it's about to eat me alive! We have a tough week ahead of us...hoping all goes well :).

Into fall.

2009-09-21T08:50:00.000-07:00

We got the spend the weekend at my parent's house and it was so relaxing. I forgot just how nice it is to get away for awhile. Zac and I went to a wedding on Saturday night, which was also fun, since it's been awhile since we've been to one :). And, because he's on study leave at church for the week, we visited another church in Colorado Springs last night. All in all, it was just a refreshing time.

I don't think I was aware of how stressed out I have been feeling (subconsciously) these past few months. I think a lot of it has to do with Zac's album production and now release. He has been working non-stop on all aspects of it for 9 months now and even though it's now officially for sale, there is still a lot of marketing stuff to do. Will it ever end? Another huge subconscious stress for me is the baby growing in my tummy.

My pregnancy has been great so far! Other than some crazy, long headaches, I've felt the best I've ever felt while pregnant and it's a huge blessing!! It's when the baby comes that worries me :). Things are just going to get so much more crazy around here and my role of "house manager" will get even bigger. So many people have said to me, "You're going to have some help aren't you?" That just makes me panic even more when I say, "No, not really" and then their eyes bug out. If only we were rich and famous and I could just hire someone to clean my house, do my laundry, and stay here two mornings a week so I could run errands. Okay, maybe not famous. I've heard that's not so much fun. I'll just take enough extra cash in the budget to cover those few things! Ha ha. But since that's not going to happen, I'll have to put the diapers on a really low shelf and train Joel to bring me the 15 diapers that I'm going to need each day :). Or maybe I'll get lucky and Brody will be walking by then

Anyway, I originally intended to say that I have been in the process of going through all of our rubbermaids in the basement and washing all of the boy's clothes for fall/winter and putting away some summer stuff. I actually enjoy doing this. I like taking out the old clothes and reminiscing about who wore it last and what they were like at that stage. I also am at the point where we don't have many handed down clothes for Joel and so it's a fun excuse to go shopping. I got him some fun stuff!

And it's a good thing I'm doing this now because I just looked out the window, and I kid you not, it's snowing. This is the earliest snow of the season I can ever remember. This is made extra weird because yesterday it was 80 degrees and sunny...I'm sure in a few days it will be 80 degrees again. I love Colorado!

Maybe not.

2009-09-16T19:55:00.000-07:00

Oh, it's been a little while hasn't it? Remember when I said I thought we had a nice schedule for fall and we were looking forward to our activities? I think I lied. Maybe I'm thinking that because I was driving for an hour and a half yesterday and today, just shuttling us around from one thing to another. Or maybe it was the fact that I burst into tears when I got the boys home from AWANA tonight after Zac asked how it went.

Let's just say, I think we are going to be AWANA drop-outs. This is not because it isn't an amazing program--it is and we have some really special leaders and participants--but it's just too much for us.

As many other moms do I'm sure, I am feeling slightly overwhelmed with the burden of household details lately. Those details of cooking, cleaning, meal planning, appointment scheduling, therapy coordinating, laundry washing, trash taking, car washing (well, actually I don't think I've done that one in awhile), child refereeing, and playdate hosting have now expanded to include the kid's activities. When's gymnastics? When am I supposed to attend Joel's field trips and Jesse's field trips and where were we going again? Have I gotten a sitter to watch Brody for those field trips? Who's class do I have to bring snack for this week and what kids have what allergies? (Uh, sorry, that was produced in a factory where they also have peanut products, can you bring something else?) Did you learn your memory verse for school? Are you wearing red because it's "Clifford day" today? Do you have your show n' tell? It's a bit overwhelming.

And all of that reminds me, I think Brody only has 3 diapers left. Great. Because I was really looking forward to a trip to Costco with my "crew" tomorrow--the one day we don't have anything else to do. Something about that place makes them all combust. It's like they have super-sized tantrums just to match the food portions.

I think a small part of my problem getting organized is that the two mornings a week that the big boys are both in school, I have other commitments (MOPS, leadership meetings, and Bible study). I'm not exactly sure how that happened but it's cramping my style a little bit. And you know what else? I think I'm experiencing some pre-anxiety for when I have to throw two more kids into this "school stuff", one right after the other. Oh, just one day at a time right?

And while I'm venting, let me just say how difficult it's been to schedule a simple appointment to see the dentist. I've had to call back and reschedule 3 times because none of my appointments have worked for our/Zac's schedule to be home and watch the boys and I used up all of my babysitting credit with friends in the past few weeks. Finally, this last time the receptionist offered for me to bring ONE of the kids and she would help watch that ONE. Um, thanks, but what am I supposed to do with the other two? It's not like I really even want to go to the dentist, but I think I have a cavity, so I need to do the responsible adult thing and just make it happen. Because we all know that what's worse than having a cavity filled is having to get a root canal. And if that happened, I'd have to make another appointment and find another babysitter.

Maybe it all just comes down to my dentist phobia. I had never had a cavity until I got pregnant with Joel. When I went in for a cleaning when I was 8 months pregnant, I nearly fell off the chair when the dentist told me I had nine. NINE??!! What? He attributed it to the fact that I had been throwing up daily for the previous 7 months and it had likely weakened my tooth enamel. Whatever happened, I now experience PTSD every time I go to the dentist's office. Especially when I'm pregnant, which, incidentally is now, and has also been quite often in the past 4 years. ACT with fluoride, I hear you calling my name!

The album is here!!!

2009-09-15T07:34:00.000-07:00

Zac's album is out. Buy the album, and pass this link to all your friends!

http://www.zachicks.com/the-glad-sound/

Counting my blessings.

2009-09-03T11:52:00.000-07:00

Zac has been out of town for a few days on a backpacking/mountain climbing trip. I am glad that he gets this opportunity to be with some other great men and take a break from his normal, busy life. He is always very gracious when I leave for a girl's night out or other equivalent "fun" activity, and although he is definitely gone a lot and I'm on overtime mommy duty (evenings and weekend stuff included), it's almost always for "work" type commitments that he is gone. So, all that to say I hope that this is a rejuvenating time for him!

And yet it's still tempting to feel sorry for myself. I'm so busy. These boys are so demanding. The laundry is overtaking me. I just cleaned up lunch and now it's already time to start making dinner. Need another diaper change? Did you really just color with Sharpie on my wall? Blah, blah, blah.

But I've been reminded this week about the preciousness of life and how to NEVER take it for granted (especially the lives of my children). A dear friend just lost a baby during pregnancy and is grieving the huge loss that is. She had been trying for awhile to get pregnant and so this is extra difficult for their family. As I spend time in prayer for her, God gently reminds me to move above getting "caught" in the mundane details of life and be ever-thankful for his good gifts from above.

Moving along.

2009-08-30T18:15:00.000-07:00

We are still here and moving along! The boys all finally recovered from their illnesses and we are thankful for health again!

Preschool starts this coming week and I am excited to get back into the routine of the school year. We will be busy--I am leading a table at MOPS, the big boys are doing AWANA, we're participating in our small group, rehearsals for various things, and preschool three days a week. I am also getting Joel's therapy schedule worked out to fit in the "holes" and am feeling very good about the direction he is going in. It's all great stuff and I feel as though our schedule is still very manageable. We are looking forward to a fun fall!

The boys have been bickering a lot these past few days. It makes me go bonkers after too long so maybe they are ready for some more activities of their own too :). Brody won't know what to do with all of the peace and quiet around here when they are gone!

But speaking of peace and quiet, that little baby also enjoys himself some loud, live music! We've had several occasions in the past few weeks to see live bands and he just goes crazy. He shakes his arms, bobs his head and moves his chubby little legs all around! He does it while we are holding him, while pulling up on something, or while sitting in the stroller. I've got to try to get it on video because it's just so funny. I've never seen such a young baby react so pleasurably to bands :). Maybe he's following in his daddy's footsteps.

And speaking of his daddy, Zac's album is done and will be released in two weeks!! We've sold a few pre-release copies at some special events and the feedback has been awesome and I know that he is so encouraged. After working on this for so long, and hearing the songs so many times, I think he was beginning to question if they were even any good--but they are, and we are excited for other to catch a vision for the new hymns movement!

So, we are moving along....

We're back...

2009-08-24T08:55:00.000-07:00

...and jumped right back into the land of sick children. Joel did recover, but then Brody got pretty sick and we are still struggling along with him. Just think horrible diarrhea (as in 12-14 diapers a day), painful diaper rash, and a cold. His voice sounds so sad when he tries to cry because it comes out more like a hoarse, barky kind of sounnd.

And sweet baby that he is, only cries when he needs a new diaper or when I lay him down to sleep. It's been my special time with him to go in and rock him for awhile before naps and bedtime--what better comfort can I provide? I actually still remember being rocked by my mom (I think it extended into my early elementary years if I was not feeling well or upset about something). I hope my kids always know that my lap is open for them.

We have lots going on this week and are still trying to recover from our trip. It was great--beautiful in the mountains and a nice change of pace--but it wasn't necessarily restful. We lead worship at a conference for 3 sessions a day, and when you include sound checks and rehearsals, we spent a lot of time on that stage :)! Other than some background singing on Zac's album, I haven't ever really been much of a part of leading worship with him and so it was a new experience for me...a little stressful but fun!

We celebrated Jesse's 3rd birthday last night so I'll get some pics up and try to do a special post for him soon!

Wouldn't ya know?

2009-08-20T09:00:00.000-07:00

Zac and I have been looking forward to "escaping" our normal lives at home to lead worship at a conference in the mountains this week. We've been planning this for almost 7 months and were excited the time was finally here.

We convinced my parents they would do a most wonderful job taking care of all 3 boys, left adequate instructions, and hit the road (with a car full of sound gear!). And wouldn't you know, not 2 hours after we'd left, I got a call from my mom that Joel had a fever.

What?! I promise I am not lying when I say he seemed PERFECTLY fine when we left. Really. They had a rough 2 days with him and then he was on the mend.

Then I got a call this morning that now Brody is having one nasty (I won't go into details) diaper after another, with a mild fever of his own. My poor mom was up several times overnight changing and comforting him...just when they probably thought they were up for a good night's sleep.

Why does this always seem to happen? When they watched the boys while we were in the hospital after I delivered Brody, they were very sick then too. And that wasn't the first time they'd been left with sick kids, either. I am beginning to fear that they will never want to watch my kids again! Zac said this morning, it would be fun if we could do this again next year. To which I quickly replied, I don't think anyone will be up to watching our FOUR children....we don't have a great track record. It's hard enough doing this when everyone is healthy, it's even stressful for me to do it if someone is not well.

Oh my. Life still continues, despite our perfect plans, doesn't it? Hopefully we will return home, late tonight, and feel refreshed and ready to take on the extra "challenges" at home right now!

Peanut.

2009-08-16T14:20:00.000-07:00

Before his first haircut!

And after! (It wasn't my best haircut ever, but it was sufficient :)

Brody is 9 months old now! (sorry I'm a little late on this...it was August 3rd). I call him peanut, but that's really not the most accurate description because he's a big guy!

At his appointment he was 20 lbs. 14 oz. (50%) and 30 inches long (95%)! He's taller than the other boys were at this point, but weighs more than Joel did and less than Jesse did. That seems hard for me to believe though because Jesse always (and still does) seemed so skinny to me. Brody looks more stocky, kind of how Joel has always looked. It funny to see the similar and unique characteristics of all of them.

Brody is crawling all over (started about 6 weeks ago), exploring more, saying mama and dada, and is pulling up! I went in to get him from his crib last week and he was just standing there, waiting for me :). He is very proud of his new mobility and independence.

And I have to say that he is just the SWEETEST, content baby. He only cries when he is tired or hungry and will just spend hours crawling around and entertaining himself. He is easy to take places, likes the car, and give us huge smiles. He really is very low-maintenance, which is a nice break from the other two! If I could change just one tiny thing about him would be to help him be a better sleep--he's not bad--just not great. But, I'm not complaining because we feel so blessed to call him ours!!

And this sweet babe has no idea that in just about six months he will also become a big brother! I'm sure he'll be great.

Reflection.

2009-08-11T19:31:00.000-07:00

So I've had a hard past few days with the boys. No matter how consistent we try to remain in our parenting, they just seem to ebb and flow in their behavior. We go through good and bad periods.

Tonight I decided to lay down with Joel in his bed for a few moments, in hopes of catching a little special time with just him (to try to overshadow the constant discipline it seems they've been receiving lately). We were chatting in the semi-darkness but then he left the room for a bit to go potty.

I felt like I could doze off in his bed and then my thoughts began wandering to something much deeper. When people lose a child, it seems there can be two reactions to their child's bedroom. Some shut the door and cannot bear to open it for years. Others find comfort lying in their child's bed and feeling the worn texture of their special blanket.

I thought about what it would be like if I was lying there, grieving for my own child. Looking up I saw the model solar system hanging from his ceiling that he picked out at the country store at Cracker Barrel restaurant when my mom told him he could pick out a toy. I thought it an odd choice at the time, but now it brought tears to my eyes.

I looked at his drawer and the green fleece pajamas that were hanging out. He tries to wear them most every night but I won't let him because it's way too hot outside...he still insists on keeping them in his drawer, though, because he wants to be able to see them.

As I rested my head on his pillow I smiled at how he takes his pillowcase off every night after we leave the room and throws it on the floor, preferring to sleep on the pillow without it.

Seeing his ceiling fan reminded me of just how excited he was when Zac installed it and how he invited everyone that came to our house over the next several months up to his room to see it.

Hearing the whirring sound of his humidier made me think back to the time Zac and I completely had to dismantle it when he went through a phase of putting coins, paper clips, and other small objects in the vent because he liked the sound it made.

It would have been so easy to be overcome by grief had our circumstances been different.

But then I remembered, I have nothing to grieve. God has placed this vibrant child in our lives and he is living and breathing at this very moment. And yes, there are days when I cry over disastrous outings with the kids or their defiant behavior (see my previous post even!), but God once again gently retuned my heart tonight and helped me put things into perspective. Every day should be a day that I give thanks for the lives of my children--no matter what the daily occurances were.

And so in the morning when I put Joel's pillowcase back on and turn off his humidifier and ceiling fan, I will smile and say a prayer of thanksgiving.

On shoes and such...

2009-08-11T19:11:00.002-07:00

It's that time of year again...back to school shopping. The main focus for us is always on finding new shoes. The boys live in flip-flops or crocs all summer, and inevitably, towards the end of summer when I try on their shoes from last spring, they never fit anymore. Unfortunately, it's kind of hard on the wallet too because they have their daddy's wide feet and I often can only find shoes that fit in specialty shops.

So tonight I took them shoe shopping. Zac is now getting my precious stomach flu so I took pity on him and left with all three boys in tow.

Now let me just say that despite all of my boy's "boyishness", I think they would be quite happy if they were girls. Just last week Zac found Joel in our bathroom in the midst of applying mascara and lipstick (surprisingly accurately too!). Every time I wear jewelry, Jesse tells me how beautiful it is and insists on taking it from me so he can wear it. It's taken many a conversation to convince them that they cannot wear my earrings because they don't have holes in their ears like Mommy. They just don't seem to be buying it. They picked out a pink booster chair last summer when we needed another one for the kitchen table. Jesse carries lip gloss in his pocket. I think you get the picture.

This is why it shouldn't surprise me that we had an incident at the shoe store. They were both in awe of the rows of pink shoes with delicate details and plentiful bows. Immediately they started pulling out boxes saying they wanted to buy this one and that one. All the while, I am trying to focus on the meager selection of boys shoes and find at least two pairs that are size wide and don't have flashing lights or giant cartoon characters on them. And that is much harder than you think.

Eventually, I think I found something that would work for each of them, but our time at the store concluded with giant tears and tantrums because they were not allowed to buy these shoes.

Joel is wearing the faux ugg boots, complete with fur edging. Jesse is wearing the maroon mary janes with the delicate bow on top. I'm actually now thinking maybe it would be better if we never had a girl because I'm quite certain all of her things would end up in the boys' room. Poor thing. She wouldn't stand a chance.

This isn't the greatest picture because I took it with my phone. The same phone, I might mention, that I just picked up from a massage parlor. Oh yes, I dropped my phone in the grocery store parking lot yesterday. It just so happens to be next to the massage place and some kind person turned my phone into the front desk there. The receptionist then proceeded to call multiple friends and family in my contact book to try and track me down. It worked, but now everyone is jealous because I had a leisurely afternoon getting a massage.

Oh, my dear friends and family, that couldn't be farther from the truth. My day actually was highlighted by a nightmare trip to the doctor where all 3 children proceeded to scream and cry the entire time. I cannot count the number of dirty looks I got from other parents. That was followed up by an aborted mission to the grocery store (where I managed to lose aforementioned cell phone) because of aforementioned behavior from children. Obviously I was in a rush to get out of there since I just left my phone laying on the street. And let me tell you...I sure NEEDED a massage after all of that.

Oh my.

2009-08-08T18:10:00.000-07:00

This has been the craziest two weeks. When Zac was off last week on vacation I think I mentioned that I got his horrible cold. Just as I was beginning to feel almost totally recovered from that, I got the stomach flu.

How, you ask, since the only place I went all week was to the grocery store for all of 5 minutes? Apparently I picked up probably the only stomach flu germ floating around there.

I started throwing up Wednesday night and just got worse on Friday. Lots of pain, fever, the whole deal. I even had to call Zac and ask him to come home from work on Thursday morning. That's a huge deal for me and has happened only one other time since we've had kids, I think. And it's a good thing he came because I collapsed into bed and barely got out for the next 36 hours. Ugh.

But, I am feeling much better again! At first, I was afraid I was starting to get morning sickness (but a little late because I'm almost 11 weeks pregnant). I was sort of disappointed because--knock on wood--this has been my best pregnancy yet!! I have only felt a few waves of nausea but have pretty much just carried on as normal. I haven't even felt any extra tired, which is so different than last time when I literally RAN straight to my bed as soon as I put the other boys down for their naps every day. I truly felt like someone was giving me a constant IV drip of Ambien or something. It was awful. I am embarrassed to admit that I almost fell asleep while waiting at a red light once. And this is coming from the person who normally has a hard time sleeping.

One side note, being able to nap during pregnancy is one good reason to have your kids close together. Even now all 3 boys will nap at the same time (if I plan it correctly :) and I can still manage at least an hour to myself. Nice!

Anyway, back to important things. Like vomit. I threw up most often while pregnant with Joel (for 7 months, daily) and didn't want to be pregnant ever again. It wasn't nearly as bad with Jesse, good thing because Joel was just turning one and needed lots of attention--obviously I had miraculously gotten over my fear of being pregnant again. I was reminiscing about how I would just bring him into the bathroom with me when I threw up because he thought the sound was funny and he would just giggle away. I was a fair amount sicker with Brody and ended up taking Zofran around 15 weeks because I was so tired of being sick (and I now had a one and two year old that needed their mommy to be a bit more chipper). It helped a little and the nausea really went away around 20 weeks.

I recap all of that not to bore you or completely gross you out, but to just share what a miracle it is that I have been feeling so great! Aside from the whole stomach flu and cold thing, I really don't think I'm going to have to endure the dreadfulness of what I have previously known as the first 4-5 months of pregnancy. And this friends, is truly a miracle. When I found out I was pregnant with this "surprise blessing" baby, my first two thoughts were:

What if it's another boy?!

How in the world can I endure pregnancy again, especially with a little baby still at home?

Then I just prayed. God knows all of these things and more. Even the things I hadn't thought to worry about yet. So I prayed that he would carry me through the known fears and the unknown ones too, but especially that he would show me mercy over the upcoming months of pregnancy. And he graciously has. Wow!

Some things I love...

2009-08-04T14:21:00.000-07:00

about...

Zac--his tenacity and hard work.

Joel--how he is always up for trying new things and approaches life with excitement and passion. He always wants to know what's coming next on the schedule.

Jesse--the way he laughs/smiles when he is embarrassed about something and says, "oops, I didn't meant to do that."

Brody--how any time I catch his attention and he looks at me, he will always return my smile with a huge one of his own.

These boys are all so special to me. I don't ever, ever want to forget these little things, even amidst the craziness and occasional frustration, because there are far more wonderful moments.

Unexpected!

2009-08-04T14:14:00.000-07:00

Today I sort of got a day off! It has been just me and Brody hanging out all day. My dear friend Jamie (the one who took Joel camping) took both of the bigger boys to Elitch's with her daughter (think Six Flags). They seemed to have a great time...Joel was grinning from ear to ear when he walked in, and Jesse walked straight to his bed :). Now Joel is off to therapy and the other two are napping.

What a nice gift this is for me because the lovely "cold" we've been passing around his is still hanging on something fierce. Zac is even going to the doctor tomorrow, which if you know Zac, you know that's pretty significant! :) I guess it's kind of important when a major part of your job is having to sign...that voice needs to be working properly.

So yes, the highlight of my day would be laying on the couch for 2 STRAIGHT hours this morning while Brody napped. I know, aren't I inspiring...the things I can accomplish with "free" time. Somehow I think this was just what my body needed, though. After all, I need to think about that little baby growing inside me too, which still seems so hard to comprehend!

My other close second of a highlight would be when I put Joel in his therapist's car to leave and he lunged his arms out and asked me for a "big hug" with a huge smile on his face. Oh my heart.

The Wiggle Wiggles.

2009-07-30T19:10:00.001-07:00

UPDATED: Here are some pics my mom sent me...I am so glad we got to do this, everyone had a great time!

We went to a Wiggles concert last night! A week ago my mom called to say that they were going to be in Colorado Springs and that she wanted to take the boys and my niece. I came along to "help". Actually, I kind of enjoy the Wiggles, as far as kids-music-corny shows go. It was a great concert and they had a ball. Oh, and Joel calls them the Wiggle Wiggles. I'm not sure why...

And, of course, because I am "documentationally challenged" as I've mentioned several times before, I don't have any pictures. I actually took quite a few with my mom's camera and meant to post them on my blog from her house but didn't get around to it. I'll have her send me some and try to get them up.

The Wiggles and their pals were doing lots of hand stands and other gymnastic type moves on the stage. Apparently, Joel was quite impressed and was trying to do handstands in his theatre chair. It was a funny sight that I wasn't adequately able to get on camera. He cracks me up.

I told my mom afterwards that I was kind of sad it was over. Using the Wiggles concert had been a very effective tool in reminding the boys to be on their best behavior throughout the day to make sure they would be able to attend the concert that night. Ah, the things I resort to sometimes. You moms know that you all do it every now and then! :)

Eight years.

2009-07-28T15:56:00.000-07:00

Happy Anniversary to my wonderful husband! It's been 8 years. In some ways it feels like 1 or 2, but when I think back on all that has happened in the past 8 years, it feels like many more than that.

When Zac and I got engaged, we were both very young. He was 20 and I was 21. It seemed like such a huge step to take, but we both felt like we were ready. Not necessarily ready for all of the little things that would come along as challenges (we knew God would walk us through those when the time came), but ready to commit to a lifetime together. A life that was soon to unfold before our eyes. We wouldn't know the daily details, the mountaintops or the valleys. What we did know was that we trusted each other to remain committed, and we trusted each other's character. That was really what we found to be most important--is this someone that I respect, trust, and can honor for the rest of my life?

And I must say, that Zac has been that and so much more. He is a man of incredible character. I could glimpse this before we were married, but am still realizing the full extent of it today.

He is honest. He is hardworking--won't quit until the job is done to the best of his ability. He is conscientious. He is funny. He loves me unconditionally. He loves our boys deeply. He is organized. He is future thinking but always lives in the moment. He is committed to providing for our family, in many ways. He encourages me and challenges me, pointing out my weaknesses, while still praising my strengths.

I praise God for giving me Zac as a husband. And I pray for 80 more years.

Side note: I do not thank Zac for giving me his cold, which came on last night. Now it feels like I have a terrible head cold on top of the stomach flu (thank you, pregnancy). Bummer. But you know what, we will still celebrate tonight--even if it just means being able to comfort each other in our afflictions. Haha! Isn't that a true reflection of what marriage sometimes is?

Not such a good start.

2009-07-26T06:49:00.000-07:00

Two months ago I convinced Zac to take a week off this summer. Not so we could do anything spectacular, it's too expensive and logistically difficult to take a big trip with 3 little people, but just to relax and take a break. He needs that. I need that. The boys need to see us all just having fun together.

That vacation week starts tomorrow. And we are not off to a good start. Zac and Jesse are both sick...they have been this whole past week and while Jesse seems to be staying the same, Zac is definitely getting worse. This isn't exactly what I had imagined for our special time together. Think Zac sleeping a LOT and me doing the same thing I do every other day, except being annoyed that this week I actually shouldn't have to be doing it alone.

Insert crying.

Just kidding. I know that was very whiny. Hopefully we can get them both to the doctor on Monday, on some medicine, and on the road to recovery. Just pray the other boys and their Mommy don't get it! Then I really might cry :).

Thoughts from the bigger boys.

2009-07-22T18:44:00.000-07:00

Yes, Jesse has a huge bruise/cut on his forehead. We were playing on the driveway the other night and BAM! he just went down. Poor Jesse. This happens almost every day. He is just walking (or running) along and all of a sudden does a huge faceplant. Usually he gets his arms out in front of him first...obviously not this time though! This picture was taken 4 days later!

These little jokesters. Joel thinks it's really cool that Brody is big enough to "play" with them now.

When I told them about the baby, they immediately shouted that they wanted a sister. When I said I didn't know what it would be yet, Joel said, "You mean it could be another Brody?" Then Jesse said, "No, I want a sister!"

I asked them why they wanted a sister so much (uh, dumb question...we need some variety around here!), and Joel said it's because girls are just so wonderful. And that's so funny because he really does just love girls. Most all of his friends are girls and he seems fairly enamored by the entire gender. We should start to get worried in about 10 years.

Then later when we were coloring with markers, Joel said he wanted the baby to be the same color as Brody. Interesting.

It's so funny to watch how their little brains process this news. What I am quite certain of is that they are much more excited about the Wiggles concert that my mom is treating them to next week than the pregnancy news. And at this point, when all my being pregnant means to them is that I feel sick, can you blame them? :)

Just call him Bear Grylls.

2009-07-20T18:24:00.000-07:00

Well, Joel had a big weekend. He went on his very first camping trip and we weren't even there! We have some good friends who are outdoor people extraordinaire and so when they invited him along to keep their precious little girl company, we figured he would be in good hands! Who better to introduce him to the fine art (or torturous experience, as I like to think of it) of camping? You can read all about their experience here if you are interested (probably only my mom will read that, thanks Jamie!).

He did great and already said he would like to go again next week. Okay, Zac, did you hear that? Because I'll just be honest. I don't like camping. Unfortunately I believe that baby #4 has now sealed the deal that camping will be the only family vacation we will be able to afford for the next many years. Bummer. I better start to get excited about the prospect. I suppose once we buy tents, sleeping bags, camping stoves, camping dishes, coolers, chairs, backpacks, lanterns, lots of bug spray, and smore's sticks, it would be a pretty affordable getaway. Oh wait, maybe we should just think of something else. That sounds kind of overwhelming.

I'll tell you why I really don't like camping. I sort of have some sensory "issues". If you ask Zac, he'll tell you that I have mild autism and Joel just comes by it naturally. Either way, I will admit that certain sensations bother me in an "I am extremely sensitive to normal things way". I don't like wind or extreme cold or hot, or being dirty, or the fact that I hear every single noise as being 10 times louder than it really is and smell every smell as 10 times more potent that it really is. I guess I am just hypersensitive to some stimuli. Mostly being dirty is the one that truly bugs me. It's like I can feel every grain of dirt caking my body and then I can't think about anything else. And as you know if you read Jamie's recap, being dirty is a large part of camping. So is smell. I love campfires, but I hate that when I crawl into my sleeping bag shortly thereafter, I smell like a chimney. And then when we get home, I have to relive the whole dirty and smoky experience when I pull out all of the dirty laundry. Ugh.

Okay, now I sound like a freak. I promise, I am still a very high-functioning person and most of my friends probably don't even know this about me. I'm just explaining in greater detail my difficulties with camping.

All that to say, I am glad Joel had a wonderful time and maybe one day we can go with Scot and Jamie and they can try to impart their love of camping to me. Some day.

Oh, and if you don't get my title for this post, I do know a little about the outdoor experience--everything I know I have learned from watching Man vs. Wild (Bear is the host) with Zac and I'm quite confident I could find my way out of the Sierra Nevadas with just a flint and a knife. Really. Just as long as I don't get too dirty :).

The long and short of it.

2009-07-19T17:32:00.000-07:00

So as a follow-up to Brody's previous post, I will share some of my thoughts on the situation. You know, since our "special surprise" principally involves me for the next 7 months (I guess that's good, 2 down already).

Here are my fears:

Once this baby is born I will not be able to leave the house for 6 months straight.

Brody may not be even be walking when this baby is born.

I won't be able to give each of my children the individual time that they need as babies/little people (I want to cherish these times, not just survive).

How will we afford college when or if all four kids go in the span of 5 years?

Will anyone ever want to babysit for us again?

What does this mean for my eye and the treatments I was supposed to receive this year (finally able to proceed after Brody was born...)?

How will I take care of my children in the way that I want to when I am on the couch with morning sickness (and mine lasts all day, for more than just the first trimester)?

How will I go grocery shopping? (I know, when Zac is home but he works long, weird hours and sometimes you just have to get to the store, you know?)

And yet, after I get over the shock of the upcoming changes for our family, I am overwhelmed by God's timing, provision, and love. This was most definitely NOT a surprise for him. He knows all of my concerns and more, and he will carry me through them. And I know that this child will be a blessing--in the normal ways that we already anticipate, but also in ways that I have no way of even knowing yet! What a privilege it is to be a parent!

But more than anything, when I am feeling overwhelmed, tired, and discouraged, or organized, joyful, and energized--either way, I pray that this experience will bring me before the throne of God, my perfect heavenly Father who will supply all of my needs and grow me into the child that he desires me to be.

And baby makes four.

2009-07-17T07:31:00.000-07:00

Hey there everyone! It's me, Brody! Comin' at you with some big news to share (remember, my mama mentioned it in my last post...it's time!)

Well...I'm going to have a little buddy like these guys coming this winter!

That's right! There's a baby in that tummy right there and it's only going to be 15 months younger than me :)

I know! Crazy huh?!

And don't worry, Mom, we promise to help out as much as we can!

I don't know why they are laughing, I'm serious about the help part :).

Exception

2009-07-15T08:08:00.000-07:00

Except going to the pool Monday wasn't worth all of the extra work. Jesse had a huge tantrum/meltdown about an hour into it, and once his crying became contagious and Brody started in, we decided it was time to abort mission and head home. I was very frustrated with Jesse. He had plenty of snacks, it was a beautiful day, two of his friends were there, and we were swimming! What more could you want?! Sometimes he just gets on these kicks and there's really no snapping him out of it.

I did however, have a proud mommy moment. Joel was having a great time playing with one of his friends. They were jumping off the side of the pool and then swimming/walking back (it was only 3 feet deep) to do it again. They must have done it 40 times and Joel was thoroughly enjoying his new confidence in his water skills. I walked over and told him we had to leave. He did two more jumps and calmly walked back to our stuff and got ready to go. Those of you who know Joel realize what a HUGE moment this was for him. No crying, no negotiating, no tantrums (we're talking beyond 4 year old normal frustration and into I just cannot control my autistic self tantrums). We have been working, working, working on this--complete with a little story about self-control--and I am finally seeing some fruits of our labor! Praise God!

After dinner, we all went for a walk. Zac had a long talk with Jesse about how we were going to practice walking! Sounds weird, but ever since Brody was born, Jesse has insisted that I carry him everywhere. So unless I want to haul out the double stroller for quick little errands, I have resorted to pushing Brody in the stroller while carrying Jesse. Not a good habit for either of us and we are trying to break it. Jesse actually did a great job and walked all of the way to the park by himself. We are trying to make holding my hand way more special than it really is, but don't tell Jesse that, because he's buying into it!

And Joel decided that he wants to be "SuperWhy". Anyone seen that cartoon on PBS? SuperWhy is a little boy who turns into a reading superhero. They love it and Joel was trying to run so fast that his shoes would turn into rocket shoes and he could fly. He convinced himself that if he ran 5 miles, he would then start flying. It was hysterical watching his little legs running as fast as they could all over the neighborhood. He didn't fly, but he hasn't lost hope yet :). Since then, he's been asking me what other things SuperWhy can do. I've made sure to tell him how SuperWhy always cleans up all of his toys, is kind to his brothers, eats his food without complaining, etc. You know, the important things! :)

8 months and...

2009-07-13T07:03:00.000-07:00

guess who is crawling?!

Zac!

Just kidding. It's really Brody and he is getting fast! It kind of took me by surprise because he started trying right before he turned 8 months old and now, two weeks later, has it down cold. Joel was 13 months before he crawled and Jesse was 10.5 months (although they both did this horribly sad looking wounded soldier army crawl for awhile first). Brody is also trying to pull up on things but forgets that he still has to hold on and then just falls right down.

Poor guy got a big bruise on his cheek from trying to stand in his crib :(. Silly me, I always thought the crib was a pretty safe place to be!

The bigger boys are enjoying his new mobility and put things in front of him to entice him to crawl...it's very cute.

Stay tuned later this week, Brody also has some other exciting new to share!

And now we are off to the pool. Not really a very easy outing for me to take 3 small children to the pool by myself (and get them all with sunscreen, suits, snacks, towels, toys, etc.), but they all love it and it's definitely worth the extra work.

Happy Monday!

It shouldn't hurt.

2009-07-10T14:06:00.000-07:00

So I want to know where medical professionals get some of their information. Because if it's not firsthand experience, then I'm always kind of leery.

"It shouldn't hurt". That's what the nurse at my retinal doctor's office told me about the laser treatment yesterday. Hmmm...that's very nice. Have YOU ever had this done?

Not my experience at all.

Let's just say I hope I never have to do that again. While my doctor was performing the laser torture, I mean treatment, he was telling me how some people just cannot handle it and have to have to be sedated and have it done at a hospital. He kept asking me if I was okay and I bravely told him to just keep going, thinking it had to be over any minute now.

Sheesh. Having someone push really firmly and directly on my eyeball with a glass ball-like thing, while shining a hugely bright light into my eye and then flashing even brighter lights intermittently that felt like I was being given repeated shots...yeah, didn't hurt a bit. Whatever.

Going into it, I thought nothing would compare to having a 1 inch piece of metal stitched onto my eye and left there for a week (my radiation treatment). And of course, this wasn't that bad. But, I'm not going to beg for him to do it again.

We are praying for success and for a true stabilization of the bleeding and swelling that has been occuring in my eye.

And just for the record, it was yeterday and today I feel completely fine :).

Ahhhh....

2009-07-08T20:24:00.000-07:00

Just back from a little Girl's Night Out. Not nearly as wild as it sounds. Starbucks and talking.

Food for the soul.

I'm so thankful for girlfriends... Who else can you tell that you threw the dustbuster on the floor in anger and not worry about feeling judged?! And yes, that did happen. I'm not proud (long story). I even heard Joel trying to recap the situation for Zac that night and then Zac told him not to lie and make up things about Mommy. I sheepishly piped down from upstairs that, unfortunately, he wasn't lying. Zac looked at me like I was nuts.

On a different note, I'm getting ready for a laser treatment on my eye tomorrow afternoon. Feeling a tad nervous but am praying that it will be very successful. At any rate, it's a good excuse to have my mom come up and help me out with the boys for the evening since Zac's at work and I'm quite certain I won't be up to it (wink wink :). Thanks, Mom!

I'll send an update soon!

Happy 4th!

2009-07-05T06:52:00.000-07:00

Celebrating yesterday reminds me to praise God for our nation (although imperfect) and the many blessings we receive from living here!

We went to a party last night at a friend's house and their neighbors lit off the most spectacular, private fireworks display I have ever seen. It just went on and on...I cannot begin to imagine how much money they spent :). And Brody, our little trooper, just slept upstairs in a pack and play through an hour of some seriously loud explosions. You gotta love the third child...I am pretty sure he could sleep through the sound of a tornado.

Speaking of sleeping through a tornado, last night we had the loudest thunderstorm at 1:30. It was so intense--complete with lightning, thunder, and sideways hitting rain that--I actually thought about turning on the news to see if there was a tornado warning and we should all be down in the basement. Of course, all of my men (the little ones and big one) were just happily sleeping away while I feared that we might blow away. It was scary! We have been having the craziest weather here this summer...so unlike Colorado!

I finally fell asleep when it was over, only to be awakened thirty minutes later by Brody who somehow soaked through an entire diaper and his pajamas--from head to toe. Poor guy. I'm not sure how that happened. It's like he had some extra bottles stashed somewhere in his crib and snuck a few before he fell asleep. My night was sort of starting to feel like some weird twilight zone episode. Needless to say, I think I only slept about 3 hours total but still felt somewhat rested in the morning.

This morning Brody was sitting on my bed when Joel came in to say good morning. I love to see the look on Brody's face when he sees Joel in the morning or after he's gotten up from a nap. He has the hugest smile and flings his arms around in excitement. I'll try to get it on photo because it is just SO sweet. Anyway, that happened this morning and Joel smiled back. I said, "Joel, Brody loves you so much and he always has a big smile when he sees you!" Joel said, "And I always get the biggest smile when...(I am assuming he's going to say "when I see Brody, too!")...I see my friend, Helmsley!" Oh, okay. He has a serious friend crush on this little girl, so I shouldn't have been surprised, I guess!

Yesterday when Zac told Joel that he loved him very, very much, Joel responded by saying that he loved Helmsley very much too. Oh my. We could be in for it!

Hope you are all having a wonderful 4th weekend!!

Jealous

2009-06-30T13:59:00.000-07:00

I wish I could be doing that. Well, not in a knight costume, necessarily. I'm not really into knights and all. Although Joel looks pretty cute as one! This was his Halloween costume from last year and it reminded me of how I went into labor practically the next day with Brody. I think I truly almost trick-or-treated that baby right out of me. Never underestimate the pains I will go through to get some candy!

Anyway, I would sure love to be curled up sleeping on the couch right now (who wouldn't, really?). Instead, I need to put away the 2 foot tall pile of clean clothes sitting by my bathtub, and the clean pile in the hallway, and mop the floors, and clean the kitchen sink. But first, I should start by actually getting dressed. I've been playing with the boys all day--just a chill morning/afternoon at home, but now we really need to get to the store before dinner. And now matter how tired I feel, I just can't go to the store in pajamas, I just might be tempted to park the "car" shopping cart somewhere and fall asleep in the produce aisle.

Finally!!

2009-06-30T13:45:00.000-07:00

I know this is so boring, but in my book, is most truly blogworthy! I finally got a picture of Brody smiling! It is literally probably only the 2nd or 3rd one I have. He is very fascinated by the camera and as soon as he sees it, he quits smiling and gets this sort of blank expression on his face...it's bizarre, but I think I have probably 80 pictures of that exact same expression.

I'm sure you are familiar with "the look" from older posts. In case you've forgotten, here it is.

I think it's safe to say that unless some day, the blank expression look becomes very attractive, he probably doesn't have a career as a model ahead of him. And that's okay, because this boy sure likes to eat. As in pretty much any baby food I put in his mouth, and a newly developed penchant for eating his breakfast bottle at 5:30 a.m. I'm not enjoying this.

But when I get to see this smile, it makes it a little more bearable!

Running low...

2009-06-26T13:44:00.000-07:00

So we had a big birthday bash last Saturday and it was great! I'm not one for large birthday parties but Zac wanted to do this one big and I had a really wonderful time. He wrote me a beautiful letter and read it out loud...I'll post it on here when I have a spare 10 minutes to type it out or when he gets back into town and I can steal it off of his computer.

On that note, he's been out of town all week for week and boy am I tired! The boys miss him bunches too. At least that is what I have decided the reason is for their AWFUL behavior these past two days. They were great for the first 2 1/2 days he was gone, but it's been all downhill since then. I know this is the age-old question of most every mom, but why does it feel like I am disciplining, instructing, correcting, redirecting, 98% of the day, for days on end, and yet frequently they appear no more domesticated or controlled than a wild boar. Not that I have encountered too many wild boars in my days, but I think my children could certainly be a good match for one, should they ever happen to meet.

Anway, I intended to post a lovely description of the party, complete with pictures and fun quips, but being the documenting professional that I am (said with much sarcasm), I forgot to bring my camera, and our video camera is broken. I recruited my bro and sis-in-law to help out in that department (because they are always prepared with documentation devices--no matter the occasion) but I haven't gotten the pics back from them yet.

Then I also intended to write a very touching post about what a wonderful husband and father my children and I have, but didn't make it to that one either. Some day soon I'll just surprise you all when you least expect it.

We did have a nice Father's day celebration with my whole family the day after my party, and I think I ended up with a little party "hangover" on Monday. No, not alcohol related. I don't really drink, hardly ever actually. I have some strange reactions to it like I feel like my throat is getting tight and other odd stuff and so I just avoid it. And I can hear Zac laughing as he reads this because he always makes fun of me for that. If he only knew how I felt after one sip of a margarita he might not be laughing. Whatever. But I digress. I think I just had maybe too much sugar, celebration, and excitement. That coupled with my anxiety or dread of being alone with my 3 little munchkins (or boars) for the upcoming week left me "blogless".

Joel did finally start his therpay this past week and things are going really well. And just in case I was concerned they wouldn't have enough to work on, he's had a really tough past few weeks and so this couldn't come at a better time. Please pray for him during this process when you think about us! It will be a long 1 1/2 years of some pretty intensive therapy and we pray in anticipation of how God can continue to heal him, and also for him to give Joel perseverance and determination as it is quite tiring for him. Speaking of that, I do have a cute picture I took of him sleeping on the couch, wearing a knight costume, taken shortly after one of his therapists left. Seeing as how he has probably fallen alseep on the couch approximately zero times in his life, I'd say he was pretty pooped.

So, on that very random note, hope you all have a great weekend!

Thoughts from Joel

2009-06-22T06:45:00.000-07:00

Wow, sorry it's been awhile. We had a pretty crazy busy week with VBS (Joel attended and both Zac and I volunteered), my big birthday bash, and Father's Day. Needless, to say, we're pooped. But not too pooped to get in our first pool outing of the summer!! It's been very strange, unseasonably cool weather this June--until now--and so we will start the week the way you should in the summer...swimming away the 90 degree heat.

So at VBS they must have been talking a lot about Africa and the people there, including doing a crayon/marker/craft drive at the end to send with a team from our church who is doing a VBS there in a few weeks. Our church does some amazing ministry work in Africa, very hands on stuff, and sends several teams to Ghana and Uganda every year.

Anyway, in the car coming home from VBS, Joel and I had this conversation:

J: "Some kids in Africa have to sleep on the dirt." "Why?"
M: "Because they don't have any money for beds, and some don't even have houses."
J: "Why don't they have houses or beds?"
M: "Because those cost a lot of money and the people don't have enough money or supplies."
J: "How much money does it cost?"
M: "A lot!" "You should be very thankful for the house that you have. Would you like to pray and thank God right now?"
J: "Okay." "Dear God, thank you so much for $200 to have a house and we praise you God for healing our house and not letting it be broken." (Not sure where he got the broken/healing part).
Then Jesse pipes in, "Joel, that was a funny prayer!"
Joel: "Thank you, Jesse."
Jesse: "Your welcome, Joel".
Me: Laughing.

Here it comes!

2009-06-16T12:30:00.001-07:00

I'm turning 30 on Saturday!

I don't know if it's just coincidence, but Joel has made it a point to tell me just how OLD I am a few times this week. He doesn't mean it in an unkind way, I think he actually thinks the older the better.

But, it's got me thinking. And I can't decide if I'm excited to be turning 30 or if I'm bummed.

Of course it does mean I'm getting older. And my body isn't quite what it used to be (I'm blaming that on the 3 children). I forget more things. I'm going blind in one eye (blaming the cancer for that one). My knees and hips hurt when I work out too much (blaming tennis). But then I think, sheesh, you're not 80.

And I most certainly am not. And I realize that I'm kind of excited to turn 30!

For one thing, I praise God that I am even alive. In addition, he has given me infinite blessings here on this earth. Huge things like my family. And small things like being able to eat whatever food I want, whenever I want. This isn't even possible for a lot of people in this world.

Plus, saying that I'm 30 makes it sound like I am at least qualified by age to care for these 3 small children that I tote all around (and who are sometimes out of control). :)

In that regard, and for many other reasons, my 20's have been a decade ripe with blessings AND challenges. Things I am so thankful to have made it through and can rejoice that we're still kickin'!

So...in honor or turning 30, I will list 30 things that I am thankful for (some serious, some silly, and all most certainly not in order of importance!):

1. My husband...he has been with me through the whole past decade, knows me better than anyone else (and still loves me!) and I hope for at least 30 more years with him in my life!
2. My 3 sons. So sweet, so challenging. I wouldn't trade them. Not even for a girl!
3. Nacho cheese Doritos.
4. My minivan (swore I would never succumb, but I did, and I love it!)
5. A wonderful church with incredible people in it.
6. My hot pink sweater from Old Navy (I got the very last one in the store).
7. Some wonderful friends.
8. A park within 5 minutes walking distance from our house.
9. To be cancer free!
10. Hand-sanitizer foam.
11. My George Foreman grill (we really use it, for lots of things).
12. Cable TV that my parents are getting us for my birthday (I'm pre-thankful for it).
13. The defrost function on my microwave--sometimes I just plan enough in advance.
14. Health insurance.
15. An upcoming 1 1/2 years of free therapy for Joel.
16. Diet Vanilla Coke (I'm sure the regular is just as good too, but I don't like to drink my calories--it's such a waste. If I'm going to consume 200 calories, I'd much rather eat a donut. Seriously.)
17. Ceiling fans.
18. Bug and humidity free Colorado.
19. Cereal.
20. Worship music.
21. God's complete sovereignty.
22. Nap time (the boys, not me...I'm an unsuccessful napper.
23. Getting mail--good stuff, not bills and junk.
24. A big glass of cold water in a plastic cup.
25. The blessing and power of prayer.
26. Being able to read the Bible in 90 days with 600 others at our church.
27. The baby bjorn (it's a verb in this house, "Should I bjorn him?"
28. Mascara.
29. Hugs.
30. Knowing that I am a child of God.

Bring it on 30 years old...I'm just getting started!

Of course He does.

2009-06-12T15:28:00.000-07:00

We live in a culture where we appear to have a lot of power. We can manipulate things and cajole people and work our way around pretty much anything.

Antibiotics for illness.

Fast food for hunger.

Sleeping pills for insomina.

DVR to get rid of commercials.

Quick lube for oil changes.

Call ahead seating to avoid waiting at restaurants.

Fastpass at Disneyland.

Direct deposit of our paychecks.

You get the picture. These things are all fine, but they make it hard to see that really we aren't so as in control as we think. And I have felt that as I waited for Joel's medicaid application to process--there was nothing I could do to speed it along and I fully expected to wait the full 90 days that they are allowed to take.

But, alas, of course there IS something I can do. And truly, it's the most powerful, only important thing that matter. I can pray. And pray, I did. I prayed for speedy processing and efficient employees and mostly that God would just go before that application and move it along some sort of supernatural way.

And He did.

Our caseworker was here yesterday to finalize all of the details and set up our therapy times for Joel and she said to me, "I don't understand at all how this was processed so quickly. I have NEVER seen it happen that quickly. In fact, there is another little boy that she is working with who applied well before Joel and still hasn't heard anything back."

I told here that I prayed, a lot. And she said, "Well whoever you prayed for, it certainly worked!"

And we know who the one, true miracle worker is.

So I just wanted to share a modern day miracle and encourage us to remember, respect, laud, admire, and share the love and power of God. Because despite and in spite of all of our modern day trappings, he is still God.

The things a mother will do...

2009-06-11T13:46:00.001-07:00

There are lots of things I've done because I'm a mother. It's like that title automatically forces you to do un-natural things. Many of which I wouldn't dreamed of having done BK (before kids).

Throwing myself in the trajectory of my child's vomit so it won't get on my freshly washed rug(it seemed easier to wash myself than wash the rug again).

Cleaning poop of the cabinets, floor, and walls when a certain child of mine decided to use it as fingerpaint (where was I while this was happening, you ask? Feeding another child).

Declining a really fun party invitation because it was in direct conflict with nap time. (I know this sounds so lame, but really, it ends up being in my best interest).

Getting out of bed every hour overnight to check on a child with a really high fever.

Sacrifing my highly desired cookie/cake/smoothie/roll/whatever food I am really enjoying so that they can have it instead--it's like they have some sort of radar and they find me when I'm eating something yummy!

Making sure my kids are bathed and cleanly dressed, but then running out of time to do so myself.

You get the picture, right? I know all of you mothers out there are with me.

And darn it, today I had to do it again.

I put the boys all down for naps and they were quietly just about to fall asleep (this is a rare occasion). You know that state where you're sort of out of it but not quite asleep yet? Well, they were there.

And then it gets really gray and scary looking outside and starts hailing marble-sized hail. I turned on the TV to check the weather just in time to hear the weatherman say that everyone living in neighborhood needs to be in the basement immediately because of a potential tornado. Did I mention Denver has been having bizarre weather all week??!! Anyway, I listened to him say this about 5 times before I begrudgingly walked back upstairs to get them.

After all, I suppose having safe, alive children is more important than naptime--even while taking into account the old but true addage: "Never wake a sleeping baby". So I did the good "motherly" thing and woke them up and hauled them to the basement. They were all confused and scared because it was hailing so hard I had to shout for them to hear me. Plus, Joel had decided to sleep in his underwear and I felt it was important for him to be dressed just in case the roof blew off our house. You know, priorities.

Of course then they just thought the whole thing was really exciting and after the storm passed, naptime was but a fond memory.

I'll be paying for this all afternoon.

But I made a "good choice" as we like to encourage Joel to do. Maybe he'll give me a gold star on my behavior chart.

Or maybe I'll just make cookies and eat them somewhere where I know they won't find me :).

A prayer and a praise.

2009-06-09T19:37:00.000-07:00

Just as a brief background to this prayer request:

I had cancer 4 years ago...a long and amazing story that I will post sometime on my blog. It was a tumor in my eye and was neutralized through radiation. Everything seemed pretty okay for the first 3 years after that, but for the past year my eye has begun suffering from radiation damage. My vision has deteriorated in that eye, although I have some peripheral vision which is helpful with depth perception.

I had an appointment with my retinal specialist (cancer eye doctor) on Monday as a routine follow-up. They did another ultrasound and some "pictures" of my eye after injecting a dye into my body that helps see what is going on better in the eye. It's much more detailed than how I'll explain it, but basically my eye has fluid build-up, swelling, and some hemorrhaging of the vessels.

I received an injection of a medication in my eye last December that did help with the swelling, but the bleeding is getting worse. My doctor recommended beginning some laser treatments right away to try to stop the bleeding and fluid leakage. They were hesitant to do this initially because it will likely decrease what tiny vision I still have left, but at this point, it seems prudent to do what is best for the overall health of my eye. Lord willing, I will have a lot more years on this earth and so the ultimate goal now is for me to be able to keep my eye (as opposed to having it removed and have a prosthetic eye). I'm not sure how realistic this goal is, considering the trajectory that I am on, but I know that God hears and answers our prayers. So, I am beseeching you all to pray that the laser treatments and injections would be successful in stabilizing my eye--that there would be no more deterioration--even in the many days and years to come. Also, often when there is blindness or significant vision loss in one eye, that eye begins to lose muscle tone and will become "lazy" or drift off to the side. Even with my current vision loss, both eyes are still tracking together well, and so if you would pray that they would continue to do so, I would be so grateful.

For the most part, I have already grieved the cancer and the vision loss and how those have truly changed my life (although grief does pop up at surprising times and I don't like having to remember to schedule blood tests, CT scans, and doctor's appointments every several months just to make sure I'm still cancer-free). But I would really love to just be able to move on and now it seems prudent to be more proactive than ever with these treatments and so that is hard. It's also hard to think about possibly losing my eye entirely. That's why I initially chose to have radiation instead of removal of the eye when I was diagnosed (plus it also seemed like a medically prudent decision--not just vanity :).

And yet just as I walked out of the doctor's office with a heavy heart, my phone rang. It was Joel's caseworker informing me that his application for the medicaid autism waiver had been approved (see previous post) and he could start therapy within 2 weeks. Praise God!!!

And I know his timing is not without blessing in and of itself. What a gift to me when I was feeling low. And a reminder that he loves Joel and he loves me and will not forsake either of us. What a magnificent God we serve! So as you join me in prayer for my eye and health, please also join me in praise for this amazing opportunity for Joel. Our God is most certainly worthy of unending praise and he calls us to proclaim his mighty deeds--to him be the glory for all things!

Mission impossible.

2009-06-06T12:38:00.003-07:00

That's what I have to say about trying to get a cute picture of all three of these little guys.

Surrender.

2009-06-06T12:10:00.000-07:00

Now that preschool is out and Joel is home with me again, all day and every day, I am realizing how much he doesn't really thrive here for extended periods of time. After he was first diagnosed with austism, I learned everything that I could about therapy and treatment. Along with outside help, I began doing home-based therapy for about 30 hours a week for a year or so. He responded fairly well once he caught on to what we were doing and it became a lifestyle for us--not just specific times where we would "do therapy".

Now that I am busier with the other kids and he is older and much more extroverted, he really doesn't want to learn from me anymore. I am old news to him. He wants to be out and about with other people. It is really frustrating to me because I feel so ineffective for him. But I am thankful for the help that he does receive in preschool.

Yet still, I always fight the feeling that I should be doing more for him. More therapy. More research. More treatment. Unfortunatley, all of that equals more money, which we are short on at the moment (or always, it seems). Zac and I have agreed from the beginning that unless things seemed incredibly desperate, or there was no other way, that we didn't want to go into debt to pary for therapy for Joel. We know that God knows his needs and our needs, and we trust for him to provide.

So, as this summer approached and the end of preschool loomed, I began fighting a panicky feeling. It was then that I realized I needed to surrender Joel to God, again. I say "again" because I have felt that this is a common theme for me in my mothering of him. I felt it when he was an infant and I was diagnosed with and treated for cancer and effectively couldn't "mother" him for about 6 weeks. I felt it when he was diagnosed with autism and my heart broke for the loss of what I saw as a "normal future" for him. I still feel it when I am not getting through to him and feel so inadequate as a therapist for him.

But what I have felt God tell me time and time again is this, "I love Joel very much. In fact, I love him so much that I sent my Son to die for yours--that's how much I love him. I have plans for him and I will take care of him, as only a perfect heavenly Father can. Rest in my care for him."

Wow. So that is what I do every night. I try to re-surrender him to God. My feelings of control are only an illusion anyway. And then as I am trying to do this, in his goodness and mercy, God appears to be providing something amazing for Joel. We have been on the waiting list for a program called the Autism Waiver for over 2 years now. It is a federally funded grant that provides a huge amount of money to families of children with autism to receive behavioral therapy until they turn 6 years old. As our time on the waiting list has clicked away, I've become increasingly aware that Joel is getting closer to that age and missing this opportunity.

But again, God knows all of these things, and he knows exactly what Joel needs. I received a call 6 weeks ago from the county saying that they hoped he would be coming off of the waitlist within the month. I quickly got my act together, filled out a ton of paperwork (it is a medicaid program for which you have to jump through many hoops), and sent in his application. From that day on I have prayed like crazy that God will expedite this application and put it in just the right people's hands. I have word that it is currently being processed and I am awaiting confirmation any day. Medicaid has a certain number of days to respond (and it's a lot of days), but we are praying for a quick, affirmative answer.

It is so hard for me not to stress about this, but just be thankful for this possible opportunity, that could hopefully come to fruition in the summer while Joel has lots of free time for therapy. We are talking lots of therapy--like 30 hours a week of group settings, one-on-one therapy, home-based and center-based, and field trip activities. All at NO cost to us. So as we wait, would you please join with us in prayer that this could be a reality for Joel and that God may use this to propel him forward in a huge way--all for the glory of Him who loves his children so dearly.

The album progresses

2009-06-04T09:41:00.000-07:00

Zac shares more about each song on the album (background music gives you a sneak peek, too!):

Milestones...

2009-06-03T14:35:00.000-07:00

Certain events are dreaded by parents.

Not sleeping at night for months on end (if you consider that an "event" and not just a totally unfortunate circumstance).

Potty-training.

Moving to a "big bed" (and trying to get child to stay there).

Those are three that are at the top of my list. Anyone else? What do you dread as a parent?

I'm sure as my kids get older those dreads will have faded away into oblivion and my new ones will be replaced by things like dating and going off to college. But, during these myopic days with 3 small children, that seems like an eternity away.

However, I am so happy to report that child #2, our sweet but more often sassy Jesse, has just progressed through two of those hurdles. Yes, folks, he is sleeping through the night.

Just kidding. He's been doing that for over two years, but don't get me wrong, I'm still extremely thankful for that. Especially in light of the fact that I have recently REDISCOVERED the joys of sleeping through the night again!!! Oh yes, dear child #3, smiley but separation anxiety-plagued Brody, has decided it's not as fun to see me at night as it is in the morning so he's given up his social habit. Can I get an AMEN for that?!

Anyway, back to Jesse. He is now pretty much completely potty-trained (as in, I don't even have to remind him to go anymore)! It was fast...took about 2 weeks and I think we're in the clear. (Uh, knocking on wood as we speak).

And, due to his new need to use the toilet, we realized he has to have access to said toilet and so we moved him up and out of his crib. Yes, some of you are thinking, "Why was he still in a crib?!" Because I'm a firm believer in keeping children from having free reign over the house for as long as possible. Plus he never once tried to climb out so who am I to rock the boat?

He is now in his "big boy" bed, which I find kind of humorous because it's one of those tiny little toddler beds that look more like it's made for a large doll than a child. Whatever. I got it at a garage sale for $20 when Joel was a baby and Jesse really seems to like it, so who am I to judge?

And we have now passed what I view as 3 large milestones in our children's lives. Nice work, Jesse. It was about time, Brody (said with much love and tenderness :). And by the way, neither of you can date until you are 30.

What's he up to?

2009-05-29T06:45:00.000-07:00

Well, I missed the official 6 month mark, but I'll just do a little "Brody is almost 7 months now" update. (For my own personal records...:)

And I'll make the obligatory, "Wow, I feel like he was just born!" Because what kind of mom would I be if each day actually felt like an eternity to me in this household. Just kidding, only one or two days a week actually feel like an eternity :). Really though, Zac and I were talking and discussing how each day feels so long, but the week is over in a flash. How is this possible? Anyone else feel that way about life?

Back to Brody...

He's still a big guy. Tall and somewhat chubby.

He's sitting up and can do it alone, but will eventually get frustrated or tired and just snap back onto the floor. He doesn't cry when this occurs, but looks scary to me, thus, the Boppy pillow around him for protection :)

He's eating squash, sweet potatoes, pears, peaches, and those little puffs. He looks like an old man without his dentures when he gums those things, it's a hoot. If I was a more adept videographer, I'd post a video.

He rolls. Everywhere. Now I have to be really careful about all of the little toys the boys leave around because he's also at the age where everything goes straight to the mouth.

He's a pretty quiet guy. Not lots of babbling or laughing, although I swear he said Mama twice last week. And at Bible study last Friday, he was sitting on the floor next to a one year old boy and couldn't stop making all kinds of noises. The mom said to me later, "Wow, he's quite a talker!" "Not really, that was the most he's talked in his entire life combined, he just likes your son!" It was strange. I think he's just learned that it's pretty tough to get a word in around this house so he may as well not even try yet.

And my favorite--separation anxiety is beginning. All of my boys have had some serious bouts with this. I like to think it's because I am so irresistible :), but I now have a child semi-permanently attached to my hip. I say semi because occasionally he will be entertained by the boys on the floor, but then one of them will scare him or a "give" him a toy a little too enthusiastically, and then he cries again.

But all in all, he really is SUCH a sweet baby, and we thank God for his blessing to us every day!!

Whew!

2009-05-28T13:41:00.000-07:00

We are wrapping up what's been a crazy week! We have had 4 different party/get-togethers at our house in the last 5 days...lots of cleaning, partying, dirtying, cooking, re-cleaning, partying, dirtying, cooking, re-cleaing, etc. It was all very fun though, and so worth the effort, as always. Zac and I both really enjoy having people over. Sometimes it's something more formal that we plan weeks in advance, and other times it's a spur of the moment "wanna come over for dinner" type of thing.

I pray that as our kids get older, they also develop this enjoyment and that our home will be a place where their friends andours always feel welcome! At one point on Saturday evening, I did a double-take as all of the kids ran down to the basement to play...it seemed like they had multiplied. Sure enough, I discovered that they had invited some of the neighbor kids over (via the an invitation over the back fence). I guess we are on our way!

The few nights this week we haven't been entertaining, Zac's been working, and I've been trying to maintain some order around here by myself. It's not going too well, as evidenced by the 8 loads of clean laundry sitting in my hallway. But hey, at least it's clean and not 8 dirty loads. I have made some progress!

What's been goin' on

2009-05-22T14:47:00.001-07:00

So I haven't written very much about this, although it's been a HUGE part of the Hicks' family life for the past 4 months (that's a full 2/3 of Brody's life :)!

Zac is recording an album. It's an 11 track album of worship songs that he has written. Several years ago, he developed a strong love for old hymns, and was sad to see them being used less and less in churches. They have amazing theology and beautiful poetry, but unfortunately, aren't always that easy to sing. Or engage with. And frankly, sometimes the music just doesn't really match the text. Think "Rock of Ages" set to the tune of a marching band song. Not so much.

He began to take the texts, mold them slightly, add choruses, and write new music that is more relevant and fitting. And if I do say so myself (and I can because this is my blog and I'm his wife), he's done an amazing job. He released 3 of them on an EP several years, but has been gearing up to do a full album for awhile.

Being at our incredible church has now provided the awesome opportunity to begin recording. It's been a really long process but hopefully, they are coming to the end of the tracking process (recording all of the music--each instrument, for each track, several times--so that each track ends up having 30-40 mini recordings that all get blended together to make a great sound). It will then be mixed and mastered and tweaked a little more, with an anticipated release date of September, 15, 2009. Be on the lookout because I will post a widget on my sidebar that will enable you to purchase individual tracks or the whole album from his website.

Doing this has been a huge sacrifice for Zac--lots and lots of time spent, in addition to his "regular" job, learning new skills, singing, playing guitar, editing, editing, editing--and me feeling like a single mom as he spends many hours working on this. But we truly feel like God has opened the door to one of his dreams, though, and we are praying that through this album and Zac's passion for thoughtful, meaningful, and articulate worship, others will be drawn into a deeper worship of God.

So, we're getting excited around here and I'll be sure to keep updating the progress as things get closer. Spread the word. Buy the CD. Share it with others! I've attached a video that Zac made giving some background on this project. (Excuse the fact that he looks like he just rolled out of bed--I think he shot this in the wee hours of the morning after a long recording session. Did I mention we both are a bit tired?)

Sweet boys.

2009-05-22T14:41:00.000-07:00

Joel really missed Jesse while he was away for the two days. He asked almost incessantly about when he would get to go to the point that I got sort of annoyed. But what I realized was just HOW close these two little boys are. They are just over 1 1/2 years apart in age, but with Joel's developmental delays, in a way they have been growing up together.

This morning at breakfast, this is what I overhead.

Joel: "Jesse, I get to go to Nana's in two weeks when my preschool is over. And you get to come with me, because you're my brother."

Jesse: "Yes!"

Joel: "And I love you, Buddy."

Jesse: "I love you too, Joel."

Giggle, giggle giggle.

Oh, my heart!

He's outta here...

2009-05-18T08:55:00.000-07:00

Wow it's nice and peaceful around here. Jesse is spending a couple of days with his Nana and Papa. We had friends over for dinner last night and enjoyed almost two hours of peaceful conversation on the deck. Brody was already in bed and Joel just played around the table and ocassionally threw in his two cents. It's amazing how taking just one child out of the mix really changes the dynamic.

Anyway, now that preschool is out, each of the bigger boys gets to go to my parent's house for a few days this month to have some special time alone with them. I think Jesse especially needs it. He's had a bit of a hard time ever since Brody was born. He sees things that Joel does and thinks he really wants to be a big boy, but I think deep down inside, he really still wants to be the baby. After all, he is only two. Unfortunatley, there's a new baby in town and so Jesse's just not sure where he fits in anymore.

On top of that, he's potty training. One minute he's crying because he wants his diapers back, then the next he's crying because he wants his red big boy underwear. Poor guy, that's pretty much a picture of his life right now.

And let me tell you, potty training is a whole new animal. Let's just say it's pretty hard to get a child who doesn't like sweets to use the potty. It makes the whole M&M bribe void.

Oh, and things just might have taken a turn for the worse yesterday when Jesse fell into the toilet at church. It wasn't really my proudest mothering moment. Just picture me trying to hold a screaming 6 month old while undressing a resistant 2 year old, then somehow hoisting him one-handed onto the toilet, only to have him fall right in.

I scooped him right up out of there but then hysterical crying commenced. Now I have two criers but I can't comfort either of them because they can't HEAR me over all of their tears.

And because I always try to be prepared, I did have backup shorts and underwear in case of an accident, but why would I have thought to bring an extra shirt. when, of course, that is the one item that got truly soaked in the toilet. I pondered putting one of Brody's extra shirts on him (I did have one of those), but I didn't want to humiliate poor Jesse even more by making him wear a 9 month size onesie. I do have some decency.

Yet still, after several years of counseling people in therapy, a picture of Jesse sitting in a counselor's office in 20 years popped into my mind, with him saying, "I think it all relates back to when my mom dropped me into the toilet...". Maybe I could at least save him few bucks and BE his counselor.

He just threw me under the bus.

2009-05-15T20:14:00.000-07:00

So I've always had this sneaking suspicion that Zac thinks I let the boys watch TV all of the time during the day. He makes certain comments here and there and I'm not really sure why he thinks this. They get to watch 30 minutes in the morning when I take a shower (otherwise it's total anarchy in the house) and 30 minutes after their naps or while I make dinner.

And usually, it's something on PBS kids or the Wiggles or something. It's not like I'm letting them watch Bret Michaels "Rock of Love" or anything (Disclaimer: even I, the reality show queen have NEVER watched that show). It just seemed like a good example of a bizarre show.

This morning Zac was said, "Hey boys! Let's go outside and play."

To which Jesse promptly responds, "But there are no TV's outside."

Great, Jesse, thanks. Now Daddy will never believe me.

Yes.

2009-05-15T19:54:00.001-07:00

Yes, I changed my blog again.

Yes, I do get bored very easily.

Yes, I actually did sit through an entire movie last night for probably the first time in over a year (well, I did get up once but that was to check on a crying kid and so that just makes me a good mom).

Yes, I think I have ADD (seriously...I'm high-functioning, though :)

Yes, I did add some sweet pictures of my "men" under my profile to the right.

Enjoy!

Thoughts from Joel...

2009-05-12T15:00:00.000-07:00

Someone asked me the other day if Joel asks "Why?" a lot. I thought for a moment and said, "No, not really, he's more of a hypothetical kid." These are the phrases that start most of his conversations:
What would happen if...?

Could it...?

Would you/I/it ______ if...?

If I....?

We had one of these conversations before he went to bed last night. He is sort of obsessed with plugging things into outlets and he had found a plug-in air freshener without the insert in my closet. He carried it around for quite awhile and wanted to take it to bed with him. I knew he'd try to plug it in after I left and I'm just not completely wild about him playing with outlets while alone in his room (call me crazy!) so I told him I needed it back. Here's what followed:

J: What could happen if I plugged it into the wall?
M: It could get too hot or hurt you.
J: If it got too hot could it start a fire?!
M: Maybe.
J: If it started a fire could it burn me and could I die and go to heaven? (suddenly this silly conversation turned a little bit deeper :)
M: Yes.
J: Then you wouldn't be able to see me anymore?
M: No, not until I go to heaven.
J: Then you should die and I should die together so we can both go to heaven at the same time.
M: (uh, what do you say to that?) It would be nice if we could be together, wouldn't it?
J: And Brody should die. And Jesse and Daddy should die, too. So we could all be together. (I know what he means!!)

And on a lighter note...this afternoon Joel woke up from his nap and found me and Brody in the playroom. He ran over to Brody to give him a kiss and said, "Mommy, when Brody gets as big as you is he going to get married?"

So interesting how his little mind works. I know that we have never really talked about how kids grow up and usually get married, or how when people die, they go to heaven (other than in the context of Jesus at Easter).

It's interesting this new dynamic that we are entering into as parents, it keeps me on my toes!

Uh, Happy Mother's Day...

2009-05-08T11:15:00.001-07:00

Joel came home from preschool yesterday with two laminated placemats that he had made. One was for me for Mother's Day and the other was for Zac for Father's Day. At the bottom of the placemats there was a little card where the teachers had written Joel's dictation to them of why he loved us.

Mine said, "I love my mom because she makes me pizza, spaghetti, and macaroni and chesse". That's right. I'm a culinary genius, thank you very much.

Seriously?! That's all of the good he has to say about me? It's ironic that his favorite thing about me is one of the things I feel guiltiest about as a mom. Is it too often to have pizza and mac & cheese weekly? I promise I give them vegetables too!

And Zac's card said, "I love my Daddy because he plays with me and makes me laugh." Uh, I'm not jealous or anything but I think I do that too :). At least he didn't say, "What Daddy?" (See this old post...).

In addition to these very sentimental placemats, Joel had a little M-Day program yesterday morning at school. All of the moms were in the classroom and the kids lined up in front of us to do their thing.

This darling little girl next to him kept pointing to her mom and smiling when she was singing the song about how wonderful moms are, as if to say, "Yep, Mom, that's you! You're the best!"

Joel maybe sang two words and was just sort of looking around like he had something better to do. At that point, I didn't feel so bad that while I actually remembered to bring the video camera, I didn't realize the battery was dead. It probably wasn't a moment we needed to record for posterity anyway!

Finale

2009-05-05T14:50:00.000-07:00

Brody's first time swimming. I'm not sure, either he was just ready for a nap, or he just didn't like the pool.

By the end of the trip, this is how the adults felt.

Obviously, this kid wasn't as tired.

Palm Springs

2009-05-05T14:41:00.000-07:00

The second part of our trip was spent at my parent's place on a golf course in the desert. It was a bit more relaxing!

Oh, and Zac having a little too much fun on Dumbo!

More...the cousins!

2009-05-05T14:24:00.000-07:00

The boys had a great time being with their two girl cousins (why did both of our siblings have girls, but not Zac and I?!). Zac's sister and his niece, Joanna, drove up from San Diego to visit with us for awhile at Downtown Disney before we headed out to Palm Springs.

They all enjoyed playing with Mickey Mouse swords that my mom got them.

Joel and Stella (my other niece) are good buds!

Trip pictures

2009-05-05T14:14:00.000-07:00

Joel had the best time!! Although if you ask him about his trip, he'll be most excited to tell you that "yesterday he lived in a hotel!!!"

Unfortunately, this picture summarizes how Jesse felt. Although, he did have a few perky moments here and there (more pics of that to follow).

Here we are...the stroller brigade.

We're back!!

2009-05-04T09:50:00.000-07:00

Took a small blogging break so we could go to...

DISNEYLAND!

Oh, yes, we did! 4 kids, 4 and under (my niece was with us, too). We were quite the crew with our three strollers (one being my large double stroller).

And we survived to tell about it. Jesse almost didn't make it though. :) Poor guy, he got sick the day before we left for California and had a fever and nasty cough for the amusement portion of our trip. I felt so sorry for him and finally took him to an urgent care to get him some antibiotics. Another sinus infection. This child gets them often and they are always really bad. Any advice on prevention?? (Other than the standard humidifier, lots of water, eat healthy, saline nose drops, blah blah, blah...I already know all that--it doesn't really help him).

Anyway, we were tired. Think one hotel room + Jesse coughing all night long = bad combo.

But, my parents were very kind and took Brody in their room so at least I didn't have to get up with him too. I actually got 3 pretty decent nights of sleep--my first in 9 months!!

I'll post lots of pictures soon. Still a bit in recovery mode with a busy week ahead.

And until our youngest child is 5, I'm re-naming vacations to instead be called "Change of scenery" trips. Because, let's be honest. It's not your typical idea of vacation with three small children. It's just a busy life made even harder by being somewhere other than home with all of our "kid" things. But, it sure is fun to do something different for awhile!! Lots of great memories :)

Oh my.

2009-04-23T13:14:00.000-07:00

Um, so I should have knocked on wood as I typed my last post. A lot of wood. Like a whole forest.

Because no sooner did my fingers leave the keyboard than Jesse has a doozie of a tantrum. In fact, I'm quite certain it's topped the Hick's family list of all-time worst moments.

The scene of the incident occurred while we were picking Joel up from preschool. Jesse decided halfway from the parking lot to the building that his legs didn't work anymore and he flopped onto the group like an al dente spaghetti noodle. Only too bad for him, because it didn't leave a nice taste in my mouth. He insisted that he just couldn't walk and I MUST carry him immediately.

Since it was such a balmy 76 degrees outside I had decided to just pop Brody out of his infant car seat (because with him in it, the whole thing has to weigh 58 pounds) and just carry him to school, thus leaving my arms already occupied. In a feat of superhuman strength (or mostly desperation) I have often carried Joel and Jesse together, which total quite the poundage also--it definitely exceeds 58 pounds. But I can't carry another small child along with Brody because his body is still too floppy and he needs the full attention of both of my arms.

Anyhoo...I left Jesse sprawled on the concrete for a few minutes, but then we were getting late, so I somehow cajoled his crying self over to Joel's classroom, where he again proceeded to sprawl in the hallway, blocking all of the nearby kindergartners who were innocently trying to get to recess. The nerve! At this point, he was accompanying the sprawl with a constant moan.

One of the moms sympathetically said to me, "Oh, poor guy, maybe he's not feeling well." What I wanted to say in response (but didn't) was that even if he IS feeling well now, he won't be in a few minutes if we ever actually make it back to the car.

Joel's preschool aide kindly hauled Jesse to the door for me--she even got a quick giggle out of him--but then it was back to business (for him and her). Now he is screaming and crying and trying to sprawl again, except that I have grabbed his hand and so he can't get all of the way down to the ground. I half dragged him out of the building (hoping I didn't dislocate his shoulder...that would have made me feel kinda bad even though he WAS behaving like Frankenstein). Finally he was able to put a little weight on his noodle legs and we dragged/walked to the car, with him screaming all the way.

But, oh no, the story doesn't end there.

I ask him to please get into his car seat and he proceeds to scream NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! about 8 times in a row. So I calmly climb into the back of the car and give him a spanking. This must have been some sort of personal challenge to him because that "no" multiplied in volume and intensity threefold. I drove the .2 of mile distance home (praise the Lord we live close) and commanded him out of the car.

Repeat previous paragraph.

So I lift him out of the car, explaining what his next punishment will be, and he slaps me on the face with each of his angry little hands. He would have continued but I quickly restrained all four limbs, and in a moment of great sanctification (again, praise the Lord) simply marched up to his crib, dropped him in, and left him there.

For 30 minutes.

It took that long for me to feel like he was calm enough to actually receive a punishment. And he accepted his punishment graciously. And we moved on with our day.

Jesse is a hard one for me to figure out. 85% of the time he is as sweet and mellow as can be. But he can quickly turn into something like this--although, it's never been that bad before.

All this to say, that regarding my last post, no it wasn't my child who screamed during church. He was saving his up for today. :)

For the record...

2009-04-21T18:52:00.001-07:00

It was NOT one of my children that let out an ear-piercing scream during a service at church this evening.

I would never let my children behave that way.

Ahem...

Truth is, it very likely could have been one of my children, except that we had already exited the sanctuary and fled for the cry room because of an impending tantrum. In a brilliant moment of motherly intuition, I avoided a most embarrassing situation. I wasn't so on my game 3 weeks ago, however, when Jesse screamed, "Mommy, rub my back!" right in the middle of our pastor's prayer.

Unfortunately, my friend who was sitting next to us also wasn't so lucky. And let's just be honest, that could happen to any of us.

These are the things I know I thought and probably even said out loud to Zac a few times BK ("before kids"):

My children will never throw tantrums when we are out shopping. Those moms need to take control of their children

My children will eat what I serve them or starve--I'm not a short order cook.

My children will never hit/bite/kick/push another child.

My children will never leave the house in their pajamas, a bizarre costume, with dried food on their face, or with their hair uncombed. Show some respect!

My children will never talk back.

My children will obey me the first time I make a request.

My children will greet people appropriately and always say "please" and "thank you".

...and then I had kids. And everything changed.

Come on, didn't anyone else do this too?

I still don't necessarily condone any of this behavior, but let's be real. Kids are kids and, frequently, they will act like kids. Zac and I do our best to be consistent with our boundaries, clear with our expectations, and swift with our punishments when necessary. But learning to obey, respect, communicate, and act appropriately is a process. And it takes lots of correction, praise, and effort.

And honestly, we are still learning to pick our battles too. If Joel wants to wear a batman costume to the grocery store, what's the big deal? Will the world come to an end if the spaghetti sauce doesn't get washed off of Jesse's face for a couple of hours, and heaven forbid, some actually sees him that way? Doubtful.

We pray daily for God's wisdom--to know when to show mercy and tenderness, and to know when to be firm and unyielding. Oh, it's so hard to know which one some times!

Shame on me for being judgmental before I even had a clue. No parent is perfect, some are struggling more than others, but most of us desperately love our children and are trying to raise them the best we can. May God show US mercy and grace in the process.

And for the record...I'm going to go put the kids to bed now, 20 minutes later than I intended to, and I'll be sure to get that sauce off of their faces! :)

This is what we're doing...

2009-04-18T11:59:00.001-07:00

...enjoying the snow! Seriously, it is so beautiful!! It's been so warm and dry here most of the winter and we have needed the moisture. Plus, it's supposed to be in the 70's all next week so we are thankful for probably the last snow of the season!

Plus, it means Zac HAD to stay home today from several commitments at church--so I quickly recruited him to help me shovel and clean the house. I'm quite certain he rather would have been at work :).

Light over darkness.

2009-04-12T15:14:00.000-07:00

We have had several occasions in the past few years where we have truly felt spiritual warfare going on in our family/personal lives. I am so quick to forget that this is truly a real thing that occurs and something we constantly need to pray against.

However, I was reminded this weekend as we experienced several things that had to be the enemy at work.

Zac has been working very hard at church to plan 10 different services this week for Easter (mid-day every day, Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and 4 services this morning). He has poured so much time, heart, and energy into this, in hopes that people will be reached for Christ, ministered to during this special season, and that God will be truly glorified.

Thursday night after the service he came home completely discouraged They tried some different things and he felt like it was a big flop. He usually doesn't react like that so I was surprised at the depth of his disappointment.

Turns out, I can't tell you how many people have told him how meaningful and moving it was--so opposite of how he felt. Definitely Satan at work, trying to get him nice and discouraged right as the weekend was gearing up.

Friday night he is in the middle of the Good Friday service, sitting in the front with all of the other pastors, and his nose just starts gushing blood. He calls me on his cell phone from a small room behind the stage of the church sort of in a panic, asking me what to do. Weird. Again, the enemy at work.

Pouring rain this morning forces them to move the sunrise service inside at the last moment. We've had plenty of chilly Easters before, but RARELY does it rain so early in the morning like this.

I intended to have a relaxed morning with the boys, talking about Easter, enjoying each other's company, and getting to church in plenty of time to feel settled and ready to worship.

What happened was that Brody woke up at 5 am for the day and proceeded to cry until 8when I finally got him to sleep after an extra feeding and several minutes of swaying, bouncing, shushing, etc. Then Jesse took over where Brody left off and cried non-stop about various things until we finally got out of the door. I was trying to get dressed and once I was finally ready, I couldn't find the mate to one of my shoes, my second earring, or my watch--things that are all usually in the same place. Then as I'm rushing out the door because we are getting late at this point, the zipper on my skirt breaks. So, I had to rethink the whole outfit and change, again. It's pouring rain the whole way to church and we encounter a giant traffic jam in the parking lot, which reinforces the fact that we truly will be late (this is my pet peeve--even with many small children I've probably only been late to church a couple of times in the past 2 years--I hate rushing in to church, frustrated and stressed, and then trying to get my heart in the right place to worship God). Plus, how do I get 3 little people into church, in the rain, without getting totally drenched myself?

I yelled at they boys while we were trying to get ready, and was just not a very nice mommy. Not exactly the leisurely, reflective, meaningful morning I had expected. I always am here alone getting the boys and myself ready, to church, and into various nurseries, and while I would love to do it with my partner, I don't have that luxury--Sundays aren't really family days. To be honest, it's just always been that way and it doesn't bother me too entirely much. But this morning it did. The enemy?

Anyway, we made it, and everything was fine. And the service was AMAZING. Truly full of worship and I felt God's grace so clearly. There was an energy in the air and I hope God was glorified and exalted. He is RISEN. HE is risen, indeed!

He will ALWAYS triumph over Satan and one day will put that battle to an ultimate end. What a day that will be, and until then, we will continue to worship him here, while we rest in his loving care and protection.

Randomness

2009-04-07T14:25:00.000-07:00

We are all feeling almost 100% better (except I am still trying to catch up on sleep and Brody is "relearning" how to sleep through the night).

---

Jesse was building a tower of blocks yesterday and said, "Look Mommy! I'm building a tower for my Daddy!" To which Joel replied, "What Daddy?"

Sheesh...I know he's been really busy and at work a lot lately, but that's a little over the top don't you think?

(Side note: Jesse has been obsessed with hats and hoods ever since he was old enough to communicate that he wanted to wear one. See this old post on it here. Anyway, he wears a hood almost every day and I forget it's weird until someone makes a comment.)

---

Joel had "Beary Special Day" at preschool today. We made a poster "together" and he took it to school to show his friends. It was pretty much one of those school assignments where it is a great bonding experience for parent and child to create a work of art together, that expressively reflects the unique character of the child.

Or something like that.

What it ended up being was me laboring for 2 hours to find just the right pictures while trying to keep Joel, Jesse, and Brody from eating/stepping on/destroying it. I can't wait when they all get to the age where we have to do even more school projects, especially things for the science fair (note my sarcasm). I think I'm going to make an executive decision to delegate those projects to Daddy...if we have one by then, according to Joel.

---

The boys and I have been talking about rhyming words lately. I point out things and ask them to come up with words that rhyme. Mostly, they just removed the first letter from the word I gave them--like with "cat", they'll just say, "at rhymes with cat!".

So last night Joel said to me, "Mommy, my blankie (their blankies are there best friends and they talk--this is not unusual) told me what rhymes with castle... astle rhymes with castle". This doesn't look so funny when I write it out but you say the word "astle" and see what it sounds like to you. I wish Zac would have been home to hear that. Joel thought I was laughing at his brilliance, and I didn't enlighten him. I promise, he has never heard that word at home :).

A glimpse into our past 10 days...

2009-04-03T09:25:00.001-07:00

These guys right here...

have been quite sick. Which has required the acquisition of all of this...

...which inevitably leads to a lot of this... (I like to call it "The Trifecta" and it's killer against the diaper rash that always accompanies being on antibiotic. Thank goodness at least one of them poops in the toilet)...

...and not a lot of this... I am one TIRED mama!!!

3 ear infections, a sinus infections, respiratory wheezing...we have it all! But, I think the light may be at the end of the tunnel. And we are only slightly poorer after all of the co-pays and prescriptions that far exceeded our monthly budget allotment :).

Good thing spring is here!

Our streak has ended...

2009-03-30T08:59:00.000-07:00

Sick, sick, sick. That's what we have been. Hence the reason for no posting. And my other computer has "cookies". Whatever that means technically, I'm not sure. Practically, it means it wouldn't let me sign onto blogger.

Ugh..

It has been 4 months of complete health around here. It's been a wonderful miracle. But most good things must come to an end and we have reached ours. Going to the doctor this morning will be pretty much the first time I've left the house in almost a week. That makes me crazy. Plus, we had a small blizzard that forced most of us to stay home anyway. Good timing, I guess.

Tim Gunn's got nothin' on these guys.

2009-03-19T08:04:00.000-07:00

Oh yes. My little fashionistas in the making.

My mom and I took Joel to the outlet mall to get the boys some summer clothes for our upcoming trip to California. Jesse and Brody will mostly wear clothes that Joel (and 3 other boys who gave us the clothes) wore in the past, but Joel doesn't have anything bigger for next summer so he got to come (and he's dropped his afternoon nap so he was the only one still awake when we left).

And this is what he picked out.

He found the sweater on a clearance rack but they didn't have his size. He carried it around the store forever, begging my mom to let him get it. He was so insistent that she asked a saleslady if they might have his size in the back. And, oh yes, he was in luck!

While I was waiting in line to check-out, he was digging through a bin of hats and gloves and found the perfect additions to his beloved sweater. The whole outfit only cost $5, othewise I would have put my foot down over this fashion nightmare.

He wanted the entire ensemble on as soon as we got home and didn't take one piece of it off for the rest of the day. Mind you, it was 72 degrees outside. I think he even slept in it. All of it. What a funny guy!

And Jesse wanted in on the fashion action so he modeled his new swimming suit and hat. What a stud :). I think he looks like an 80 year old man on the beach in Florida with that combo (dark socks, white legs, plaid shorts...whew!)

This is one of the first times that Joel (or Jesse) has ever cared about what he wears. It kind of surprised me that he could be so passionate about it. All you moms of little girls are probably fainting as you read this because you've been fighting clothing battles since your girls could walk or talk. I even had a friend just tell me that her 8 week old daughter started crying hysterically when she put a pair of jeans on her, so she took then right off and the baby was as happy as could be. Apparently she already has an opinion about what she would like to wear!

Field trips are for the birds.

2009-03-18T13:36:00.000-07:00

We had a not so good experience today.

I got a note in Joel's preschool box on Monday saying that today they would be having a field trip to a local pizza place where they would learn how to make pizza.

Great.

Here's the catch. The parents had to take their own kids, stay there for 1 1/2 hours, and then the preschool day was over. That's it. So really there was no preschool that day, just lunch at a very overpriced pizza place.

I grumbled but tried to have a good attitude as I loaded up all the boys and trekked over to the restaurant.

Long story short:
Brody screamed 90% of the time.
Jesse whined, dropped toys under the table, and had a bad attitude 90% of the time.
Joel preferred sitting with us (I have no idea why--see previous 2 sentences) over sitting with his classmates and interacting--which I see as the point of preschool.
I paid $8.00 for a bowl of watery pasta.

We could have re-created this whole scenario at home, but saved $8.00 and a whole lot of stress.

Since I figured the morning couldn't get much worse, we walked next door to the grocery store after the "field trip" to get food for dinner. I pushed Brody in the stroller--now just quietly moaning, instead of screaming--and pulled the boys behind me in a cart. It worked well...I might try that again.

But then Joel decided he needed to use the restroom. I don't really want to go into all of the reasons why I HATE public restrooms with small children. I'll just say that he decided to take a really LONG time and go #2 which apparently required him to take all of his clothes off and lay them on the floor next to the toilet. Great.

I would have put an end to that germ party right away except that I was tending to "the moaner" and "the whiner" (otherwise known as Jesse and Brody). "The whiner" was fascinated with putting his hands in the trash and "the moaner" spit up so much that he soaked his entire shirt and the car seat straps so I was a bit preoccupied.

A lady came in with a cute little girl. They did their business quickly and on the way out she said, "Oh, 3 boys, bless your heart!" I almost asked her if we could trade.

I did discover that the bathroom had lovely smelling soap and to this point, that has been the highlight of my day. Sad but true. In fact, I can still smell it now.

Boys will be boys...

2009-03-16T19:55:00.001-07:00

...and I don't have much firsthand experience, but I think they are a lot different than girls.

We went to dinner last week at a restaurant (thanks again to the kind person who gave us a gift card!). It was overall, a pleasant experience, which is always a gamble with three boys 4 and under.

However, at one point as ours (well, not Brody) were crawling all over the booth and laughing and playing peek-a-boo under the table, Zac looked at me and said, "Wow, look at those girls". I turned around to look at the booth behind me. It should have said something that I wasn't even aware that children were sitting there. But I look and see two little girls, probaby the same ages as Joel and Jesse, just quietly and efficiently coloring on their coloring page/menus.

I don't know...are boys and girls really that different? When I ask Joel and Jesse to quietly color you would think I asked them to climb Mt. Everest...it's just not gonna happen.

I promise, he really does smile.

2009-03-14T08:15:00.000-07:00

For several weeks now I've been trying to get a cute picture of Brody to post on the blog. He's growing so quickly and I want to give him a little more "blog-time" to document that. But, he refuses to smile for the camera :). I've tried and tried, to no avail. So, what you get is a bunch of serious pictures, otherwise I'll never get to post any. And I'm not kidding, he smiles until the second before I snap the picture, and then smiles again as soon as I put the camera down. Some weird picture paralysis.